48th Anniversary of Independence

I'm not a patriotic person, nor am I not non-patriotic. But still, I'm thankful. I'm thankful for today, for the leaders Malaysia has, for the peaceful state Malaysia is in, for no natural
calamities (except for the recent Tsunami, but it didn't affect my area) and for the many benefits freedom we as Malaysians enjoy. And I'm especially thankful to the Lord for putting me here in Malaysia. Although I'm not born into a rich and well-known family, at least I have a God-fearing family.

I offer up my prayers for my beloved country:

Lord God, You guide the universe with wisdom and love.Hear the prayer I offer for my country. Through the honesty of our citizens and the wisdom of those who govern, may all citizens enjoy the fruits of justice and peace, development and progress. Bless those with authority with a sense of justice and wisdom, that they may truly be concerned and work for the interest of all citizens, irrespective of race and belief. Protect our country from all enemies; from disasters and calamities;from epidemics and sicknesses. Grant faith to our citizens that they may acknowledge you as Lord and God, respect your commandments, and give glory to Your holy name. Amen.

Click the link above for more news on the events.

Forgetful?!

The older we get, the more forgetful we are? Is this a proven fact? Or is this just a general statement? Or...

My Life Story

Just some memory of my journey with God. Perhaps some of you might have some similarity with mine.

I was born of Catholic parents, but never received Baptism when I was still a baby. I started going for Sunday Class at the age of 11. My Sunday Class teacher, who's also a relative of mine, made me attend the classes until I was about 14 years old. Right after my baptism was my First Holy Communion. I'm still wondering why she didn't let me receive Baptism after a year or two of Sunday Class, but I do know that by the time I was baptised, I knew a lot about the Catholic faith. I asked my parents why they didn't baptised me when I was a baby, they said they were giving me the choice whether or not I want to become a Catholic. I was really angry with them for doing that, and blamed them for being irresponsible and not keeping their marriage vow (upbringing of children in the Catholic way).

My parents only started attending Mass after my First Holy Communion. That time I was attracted by the priests and nuns, and always looked for the opportunity to talk to them. From there came the dream: I want to become a religious sister. My family and I were just Sunday Catholics then. My love for the Lord started growing during the Confirmation classess while my knowledge of Him deepens.

Finally, the time came for me to be confirmed. I was 16. Nothing but joy enveloped my whole being. I was accepted into the big Catholic family, where I was then 'qualified' to take part fully in serving Him. Still, I dreamt of becoming a religious sister, and I found out that I have one aunt whom I never met who's a sister. That desire burnt in me.

I served in many ministries until I found out where I belong - the Music Ministry. I've been singing in the choir for a few years now. The Lord has given me the opportunity to express myself through hymns and songs, and to lead the congregation in praise and worship sessions. Those were really great experiences and fulfilling moments. Recently, the Lord met me with the other God-fearing Youths, and we become the core members in Parish Youth Ministry, which gave me the opportunity to get to know more youths.

Being a Catholic is not easy. It doesn't mean that once you become a Catholic, you can run away from all the sufferings and trials. Nope, being a Catholic means you allow God to make use of you and your life for His purpose. God never promised a smooth journey, but He promised a safe landing. It is the experiences I've been through - hurts, injuries, joy, loneliness, disappointments - that shape who I am today and the decisions I make. Once desicions have been made, there's no turning back.

The wedding gown that I long to put on one day is that special 'gown' the nuns wear. The vow I want to make is the perpetual vow made to the Lord. I have my own reason for the decision of a single life (and God has permitted that!). The only man whom I will love with my whole heart, soul and life is the one called Jesus.Yes, I'm still dreaming of giving my whole self to the Lord. Right now, I long to see His face.

I don't know what His plan for me tomorrow. Will I keep growing in faith? Will I love Him even more than today? All these while, it was His being there that made me stronger. What would happen tomorrow isn't the matter, what matters is that He would still be there.

I Miss Him

Everytime I visit Ukok's blog, the memory of Pope John Paul II came back to me. I know it's been a long time (a few months) since he returned to the Father, but I miss him still, even until today. I just don't seem to be able to get him out of my mind.

I don't know why I miss him that much. I've not met him personally, nor have I seen him in person. But why? Why do I miss him?

It feels like there's a special bond between him and me. The bond that connects all Christians to the Father. And the same bond that binds each of our Christian heart together.

When he was still alive (yes, I know that he's still alive now in spirit, but I mean when he's alive on earth), I always imagined myself as a little girl who is held in his arms. I've been looking forward to the day I'm able to hug him and be blessed by him. But now, those are scattered dreams. I know I'll not be seeing him until I'm dead too.

I've never been to World Youth Day, but have been praying that the next one would be somewhere near Malaysia. And guess what, the Lord answered my prayer. =) I was dancing with joy when I knew about it (and my friends thought I was insane)! When I think of World Youth Day, I think of Pope John Paul II. *sigh* God willing, I hope to meet Pope Benedict.
Sydney, here I come! Hehe... =P Pope Benedict... here I come too!!!

.:.Sending my love and regards to Pope John Paul II through my humble prayers.:.

I wonder...

After reading the comments given by my friend, CK, I start to wonder if I'm doing the right thing.

At first, I wanted so badly to be in the field of Biotechnology, dealing with genes with all kinds of organisms. But then I thought, I'm not God and so I shouldn't be acting God, besides I don't want to upset Him. So I didn't make it to Biotechnology program but stayed in the Aquatic Resource program till now.

I'm pretty happy with the current program, it's all about environment and its management. Well, at least I'm not against the Lord but working to protect the world He has created for the human race. But then... my final year project is on the fishes of a river in Sarawak where a dam will be built. We will be collecting the fish samples by using electro-shocking, that would mean that all the fishes around that area will be knocked out. It's not my idea ok, it's totally my supervisor's. So here's the problem: are we doing the right thing? I'm killing the fishes, not one or two, but thousands!

One more thing that I've been thinking for a long time. I'm worried whenever friends or relatives ask me this question: What job are you planning to do when you graduated? My answer will always be: I don't know. If I stay in Malaysia, most probably I might not get the job I want; if I plan to work in some other countries like Australia or New Zealand where there are lots of job opportunities for me... my parents wouldn't let me go to places out of Kuching. Sad, eh? No wonder I'm unable to learn to be independent at times.

Hmm.. guess I shouldn't be thinking too much? Today has its own problem, and tomorrow has its own too. I should just live today to the fullest and leave tomorrow to the Lord. What do you think?

Some Updates

My apology to friends who are not Catholic. I haven't been blogging on my life lately. Ever since I found the Catholic blogs and bloggers, ideas keep on coming so I blog on those ideas first. Don't worry, I'll be updating you on my life every now and then. I can't blog too much on my religious life, or else I'm sure some of you might start to think that I've gone nuts. =P

I want to thank Mark for listing me in his great blog. You have given me the opportunity to get opinions from other Catholics. Thank you! I don't have the desire to become one of the best blogger like Kenny Sia, but I hope that the others can read and share with me whether or not I'm in the right track... I don't want to get lost! I also want to thank Ukok for visiting my humble blog. And of course, thanks to the other readers too.

Ok, back to my campus life. My two mid-term paper is over. *phiew* And next week, it's our one week holiday! Yay! *grin* BUT... I'm not giving myself any holidays. I'll be going back to campus this coming Monday, 'cos I've promised my supervisor to help him ID the fish samples he collected. Actually, it's not compulsory but I took the job because I know I can learn something new. My supervisor said this will be a good training for me since my thesis is on identifying fishes too. I'll be paid RM30 (approx. USD8) for 6 hours per day. I'm pretty happy with the pay, didn't expect him to give me that much. (Photo caption: That's the lab I'm working in, that's me working with ethanol to preserve the fishes.)

I'll be staying alone in the hostel since all my housemates are away for holiday. I've never stayed alone before, so I'm sure this will be quite a challenge for me. My parents advised me not to take the job. They said I might not have the time to do revision. Guess I need to have a good time management then: revise Remote Sensing for the forth coming midterm exam, finish my final draft of proposal and Ecotoxicology assignment, and get started with my final year project report, AND blogging. =D

Perhaps I should take this opportunity to learn cooking. Don't be surprised, I DON'T know how to cook. I always watch my mom and housemates cook, and I have lots of ideas but never had the chance to try out. So should I try, or should I not? If it didn't turn out tasty, it's definitely okay for me 'cos I'm willing to try again. But what if I burnt the kitchen?!

Well, let's hope I'll have a fruitful holiday. ;)

My Greatest Regret

In my 23 years of life, I have not had any regretful moments. That doesn't mean that I didn't have any failures or heartaches or whatsoever hurts and sufferings resulting from the decisions I made. I had those, but everytime I fall God pulls me up again, and He let me learn from my previous mistakes. But for this one, it's different. It is just like a scattered dream.

Ever since Science became my favourite subject in secondary school, the dream began. I was 18 then, had the opportunity to visit the children of special needs and Old Folks' Home. On the streets of the city I live in, I never stopped noticing the blind beggers with their children. In the hospitals when I was visiting my a friend or relative, it hurt me to see patients with tubes all over them. It was the sufferings of these people that made me want to become a medical doctor.

I thought God would provide me with everything I needed, so I didn't work as hard as I should, or shall I say, taking God for granted. I thought that, since God wanted me to become a doctor, I didn't really need to work so hard because I would surely become a doctor no matter what happened since this was the will of God. But I was wrong...REALLY WRONG! My result wasn't good enough for me to enter the medical college. Now I agree with the saying that 'God will not help those who do not help themselves.'

That is my greatest regret. My one and only regret. I cannot forgive myself for this big mistake I've made. Everytime I meet a doctor, or watch series/movies about a dedicated doctor and how he/she cares for the sick with tenderness and love, I start to blame myself again.

I know that most doctors in this world are after money and fame. The situation here in Malaysia has not much difference at all. Actually I'm very disappointed with most of the doctors I met... they ask for money first before giving treatment. I have a friend who studies as a doctor because he said that this is the best way to get rich. Is this what a doctor supposed to be like? That's why I dreamt of becoming a doctor who put patients first, and I knew that I would be able to get closer to God by giving my everything for the sick.

Recently I've been following closely the Korean TV series 'The Legendary Doctor Hur Jun', the real story of a doctor who existed hundreds of years ago in Korea. I'm really really touched by the love and passion Doctor Hur Jun had for the sick. He was recognised as the most outstanding doctor at that time, yet he was humble and asked nothing in return for the many things he's done. He refused the promotion to work in the Castle and requested to continue caring for the sick among the lowly. It is really amazing to know that a great doctor like him has ever existed. He is the kind of doctor I dreamt of becoming.

I know there's no use crying over spilt milk, but Doctor Hur Jun will always be my example now and in the future when I become a scientist (or whoever God wants me to be). My little request for all the medical doctors in the world: Please be who you are supposed to be, do not let money and fame blindfold you; giving is better than receiving.

I wish I would be able to meet this kind of doctor in person one day.

The Legendary Doctor Hur Jun

7th Year of Real Catholic-hood

Has anyone of you ever celebrated your baptism anniversary, or remembered your First Holy Communion or Confirmation besides birthdays and wedding anniversaries? I guess none, or only one or two will. My fellow church youths, for example, not even one of them remembered when they received the sacrament of Confirmation. For me, nothing is more important than the day I said 'Yes' to the Lord.

I received Confirmation 7 years ago, at Sacred Sacrament Church. I was like a crazy person that day - was overwhelmed with joy, joy and only joy. I couldn't keep my mouth closed, I smiled the whole day, no no, in fact the whole week! Now, let me see, how should I describe my joy? It was like you are finally wedded with the guy whom you've loved for your whole life!

I guess the best way to celebrate this anniversary is to offer up a thanksgiving Mass. Too bad, I won't have that opportunity today. I'm 'stranded' in Unimas.

Of all the hard times I've been through, Lord you're the only one who's been always there for me. Thank you, Lord. Thank you for always being there.

What's your theological worldview?

Not surprising to me... ;)

You scored as Roman Catholic. You are Roman Catholic. Church tradition and ecclesial authority are hugely important, and the most important part of worship for you is mass. As the Mother of God, Mary is important in your theology, and as the communion of saints includes the living and the dead, you can also ask the saints to intercede for you. Roman Catholic 93% Evangelical Holiness/Wesleyan 75% Fundamentalist 68% Neo orthodox 64% Classical Liberal 64% Charismatic/Pentecostal 61% Modern Liberal 57% Emergent/Postmodern 57% Reformed Evangelical 54% What's your theological worldview? created with QuizFarm.com

Lifestyle of Worship

Society may appear to hinder worship, but actually worship dominates society. A new worship is the only force that can stifle another worship. - Presentation
Ministries, 2005

I find this statement very true.

Some people say that they are free-thinkers, but in fact, they worship themselves.

Some admit that they are Christians, but they give a hundred and one reasons for not going to church on Sundays -- they worship money, pleasure and the work they do.

In the modern world today, people worship the false gods - money, work, pleasure and sex. What aboout the real, one and only God? Nay, that God has established too many irrelevant and unlogical laws and requirements that make people's life difficult, so who cares? Obviously, the worship of this world has increased while the worship of the true God has decreased.

Sometimes, my faith was shaken by the unbelievers. They said, God is just something or someone abstract and unrealistic, so why worship the so-called God? He is just a belief for people to hold on to when they are in trouble, to give them a feeling of comfort. Well, a bunch of crap, isn't it? Those are the lies of the demon that almost caused me to fall.

If you are really a disciple of Christ, rejoice, for you are in the right path. =) Let us together make our life a worship to God. For the unbelievers, let's prayfor them and the conversion of sinners. For the luke-warm Christians, it's time to change your lifestyle.


(Reference and inspired by www.presentationministries.com)

The Family of Catholic Bloggers

Silly me. I've wasted at least 3 hours a week browsing through blogspot to search for Catholic bloggers, but I found none. I was so so disappointed.

Last night, while I was browsing the blogs using the navigation bar, something struck me. Why not just use Yahoo search? I did, and I found a whole list of blogs by Catholics. If only I've done that earlier, I wouldn't have wasted so much time online!

What surprises me was that even the priests blog. That is really amazing! And one or two of them are among the best Catholic bloggers. Unbelievable, eh? I'm really glad to find that I belong to the family of Catholic bloggers... glad that there are people like me out there. Hopefully I'm able to learn from their experiences, and share mine with them too.

Perhaps this time onwards, I shall blog more on my spiritual life.

Dying to Self

Lord, this week I shall learn how to die to self, if it pleases You, and to find contentment and peace which I really needed right now.

When you are forgotten or neglected and you don't hurt
with the insult, but your heart is happy -- that is dying to self.

When your advice is disregarded, your opinions ridiculed, and you refuse to let anger rise in your heart, and take it all in patient, loving silence -- that is dying to self.

When you lovingly and patiently bear disorder, irregularity, tardiness, and annoyance...and endured it as Jesus endured it -- that is dying to self.

When you never care to refer to yourself in conversation or record your own good works, or itch for praise after an accomplishment, when you can truly
love to be unknown... that is dying to self.

When you see your brother or sister prosper and can honestly rejoice with him, and feel no envy even though your needs are greater -- that is dying to self.

When you are content with any food, any offering, any garments, any climate or any society -- that is dying to self.

When you can take correction, when you can humbly submit inwardly as well as outwardly, with no rebellion or resentment rising up within your heart -- that is dying to self. And rising with Jesus.

~~ Author is known to God

(Adapted from Lectio Divina, September 2005)

Unimas Convocation Photo Gallery

There was a Convocation Fest at the university I study in, so I also went and have a little crazy fun. Took some photos, which you can see below. Sometimes, I just wish that I'm graduating this year, just couldn't wait to put on the square-hat! I'm just hoping that everything will go on smoothly this year, so next year this time, it will be my turn, my graduation!!

These are some of the photos took during the convo fest. Enjoy looking at our craziness!

How's the background? Nice eh? We took that right after we had our lunch. Saw the mocha-blended I was holding? The guy with yellow shirt gave me a treat! He's such a gentleman...

Hehe.. that's my darling skeleton.... (Geeee.. sounds like in the 'Night Before Christmas'). Right after we went for health screening. Guess what, I shrunk. I thought I used to be 163cm, but now I'm only 161.5cm. *sniff sniff* Anyway, do I look fat?

Introducing my junior in secondary school - a doctor-to-be! He's really good-looking, isn't he? Su Yin is totally attracted by him. Hehe. Hey SuYin, jealous or not? I took a pic with him wor... =P Anyone interested? No way! He's mine! I won't let you have him!!! Hahahahaha... =P

A view of the stage in the hall. This was where the convo was held. The decoration was really really nice! That guy beside me was sitting on the Chansellor's seat (How dare he!)!!

We played... errm.. what do you call that? Uno stackers? Nay... we're not using Uno, we were using Jenga. Jenga stackers?! Haha. Anyways, this is a special room for counselling. That time, they were about to close the room but then they have to wait for us to finish our game. Haha.. Guess who made the bricks fall? Of course not me!

What else can I say? I enjoyed myself. And was really glad that I get to know the guys better. ;) AND......... I wish I can graduate soon!!!

City Girls with Convo Balloon

*Rolling on the floor laughing*

These are the two classmates I always hang out with, and they love to 'feed' me. (No wonder I put on so much weight, eh?) If you want to know why we can get along so well, it's because we are one of the kind. Don't believe me? See the photos below...

Sarah: "I wish this is our convocation."

Su Yin: "Yeah... me too..."

Su Yin: "Hi Saraaah!!! I seeee yooouuu!!!"

Audrey: "Oiii char boh (lady), look at the sky larrr!"

Su Yin: "Saraaahh~~~~!! It's a ballooooon!!!"

Sarah: "... ... ... ^_^''' "

Me and French

I've been taking French as a complementary subject for more than a month now. I enjoyed myself in the class. Well, French sounds funny. And just imagine us who don't know french at all to speak french all of a sudden. I know I sound funny, but feel somewhat fortunate for the opportunity I've got to learn an extra language.

In case you don't know, French is the second international language after English. I wonder if any of you ever noticed that French people don't speak good English, or they just cannot speak English at all. If you don't believe me, just pop into any French chatroom and find out for yourselves. For that French lecturer of mine, he speak pretty good English even though his french accent is really obvious (ahh hem Sir, you gotta thank me for the good compliment... hehe). In France, all English will be translatted into French, including English movies/series. That's why they don't know English. You should feel proud to be able to converse in so many languages. Me, for example, je parle anglais, Mandarin, Foochow, Hokkien, Cantonese, Malay et un peu Francais (I speak English, Mandarin, Foochow, Hokkien, Cantonese, Malay and a bit of french).

Here's the photo I quietly snapped when we took a 5 minute's break (hehe, hey I'm a paparazi-to-be!). My appology for the photo isn't really clear. So, any comments? Handsome or not? Many students took the subject just because they want to see him. One of my friends is totally crazy about him! But then, he doesn't seem to attract me at all. But honestly, he's pretty cute when he's lecturing. I don't really like him actually. He's one of the typical French people who likes to praise his own country. Give you one example: they don't call 'W' as 'double-U' but as 'double-V'. So he said, French people are smart. But I say, you French people thought too much, no wonder you become so abnormal. Haha.

Owh, by the way, his name is... of course I can't tell you his name! Anyway, you can call him Mr. Point (pronounced as 'Pua' - strange, eh?). 31 years old (if I'm not mistaken), un celibataire but not available anymore. His girlfriend is.... oh well, how do I know?! I've never seen her before.

Ok ok, enough about him. If anyone of you are interested in getting his email address, leave me a message. (Hahaha, just kidding! Why should I do that?!)

P/s: Bonjour Mr.Point, just in case you saw this, you are really cute, ok? Oh, but then I have one simple request, can you please speak un peu louder next time? I can't really hear the pronunciation clearly. Thank you so so the much. =P God bless you!

A Short Note for Noor Ling

=) What else can I say but 'thank you'? It was really great to be able to talk to you again. I promise I'll never do anything like that to anyone anymore. I'll try not to push myself over the limit.

*Sigh* No words can I use to express my joy... thank you, my friend.

A Life Without Sex - Are you willing?

I've told my friends for umpteenth times that I don't want to get married. Many asked me why, while others laughed at me and said that I would change my mind once I get older. But then, the more people made fun of me about not getting married, the more firm I become in my decision of a single life.

I gave 1001 excuses to questions about being single, including the importance of friends to me, my unwillingness to commit and the burden of having a family. I didn't tell them that the major reason I want to stay single is my tremendous love for God and my every desire to meet Him, AND me renouncing the flesh. I always tell my friends that single life is much more difficult than married life, especially when it comes to the desire of the flesh - sex. Too bad, not many of them who agree with me. But thanks God, He showed me an article, which ensures me that I'm in the right path.

Here's a short explanation of staying single. No matter if you're a Catholic, a Protestant, or a non-Christian, you're welcome to read this and try to understand why there are nuns, priests and those who accept God's call to be celibate.

Some men are incapable of sexual activity from birth; some have been deliberately made so; and some there are who have freely renounced sex for the sake of God's reign. "Let him accept this teaching who can." Matthew 19:12

In a world which worships sex as a false god, it is almost impossible for some to comprehend that there are people called to renounce sex for the sake of God's kingdom. Because it is so difficult for our world to understand, the witness of the single life for the Lord is powerful indeed. The single life does not deny the value of marriage, but challenges us to set our hearts on what pertains to higher realms where Christ is seated at Gods right hand (Col 3:1).

The single life for the Lord calls us to fix our eyes on heaven where there is no marriage (Lk 20:34-35). We see our earthly existence as a stepping stone into eternity. "I am going into this with you for your owngood. I have no desire to place restrictions on you, but I do want to promote what is good, what will help you to devote yourselves entirely to the Lord" (1 Cor 7:35).

The single life is a promise of glory that "eye has not seen, ear has not heard, nor has it so much as dawned on man what God has prepared for those who love Him" (1 Cor 2:9). The single life is among the most powerful prophecies proclaimed on the earth. It comforts the afflicted and afflicts the comfortable.

Some of you reading this are called to be single for the Lord. Accept this call.

(Modified from Presentation Ministries, Daily Reflection for Thursday 11/08/2005)

Before I got this article, I've read the bible verses (1 Cor 7:25-40) for a lot of times, but I was still unsure of what my vocation is. But right now... *smiling* should I still doubt after this affirmation? My prayers have been answered! (Hip hip hooraaay!!)

A Letter to Noor Ling

Hey dude,

How are you doing lately? My proposal presentation is finally over, that means I can relax already. I'm back to my normal self too, just in case you haven't noticed. So how is your report going?

I have no choice but to use this way to communicate with you. You did't give me a chance to talk to you at all. Besides, you didn't even look at me when we met. That really saddens me. I don't know if you're going to come to this page and read this or not, but I really hope you will see this. You just have to.

I want the whole world to read this: I'm heartily sorry for being so cold and so rude to you last week. You don't deserve it at all. It was all my fault for taking you for granted. It's something I've never done to my friends before. So sorry to say that you're the first victim. I really didn't mean it. And please, I hope you'll continue reading my explanation to the very end.

It all started when I realised that I was having a minor mental illness. That time, the whole world felt like hell. I lost control of my emotions and mood - I cried everytime I was alone in the room; I felt that I was a useless person who cannot get anything done; I started to hate myself and my life, and there were times when I tried to kill myself when I was crossing the road (remember that I have fobia when on the road?); I wasn't happy everyday; I even started to hate people around me, and I became more violent than usual, there were times I imagined myself taking a knife and stabbing those who crossed my line. Knowing that I couldn't control myself, I could only try to isolate myself from all of you as much as possible, in order to avoid you being needlessly and physically harmed by me.

You know why I never missed 'The Legendary Doctor Hur Jun'? Bcos when watching, I put myself into the show, and this really helped me to get my brain under control. This is an effective way for me to de-stress temporarily. I still need to watch the show until the last episod now, well, I'm already addicted!! Besides, it's still a way for me to relax. You know something? I think I'm having the symptoms of heart attack. I have frequent chest pain and tiredness since weeks ago. Guess I won't be living for long. (This is not a joke, ok?)

You know, everytime I heard your name, your voice or saw you, I always have the feeling of guilt. Right now, I'm really hoping that you will forgive me for the hurt I've inflicted, and hopefully, I'll be able to talk to you again like we used to. I know that a loser like me don't deserve you and your forgiveness. I deserve a death sentence for breaking the promise I made to God to never break my friends' heart. Obviously, I have failed as a friend. It's ok if you decided not to forgive me, 'cos I only deserve your hatred. If that will be the punishment, I shall accept it willingly.

Thank you for spending your precious time reading this.

With much sorrow and regret,
Audrey

My special thanks goes to...

...my bestest friend, CK. Hey pal, I'm really touched by the great poem. I shall always remember that and all the things you've said.

Yeah, 10 years! Unbelievable, eh? How time flies! It's really amazing that we've gone this far! I'm just glad I found you! ;)

Don't worry, I'll take every opportunity to meet up with you whenever you're back here in Kuching. Well, what choice do I have? Chances like that won't come so easy, so the only way is to seize the moment, right?

I promise you, buddy, distance will never cause our friendship to grow dim. Even if you have to go earlier than me, I'll be visiting your grave, even when nobody does, I'll be there.

Hey you know what? My church friends all said that I don't look THAT old at all. One of the aunties even asked me whether I'm 21 now. Hehehehe... not bad eh? Sorry ah if I make you feel old. =P

You take care too, ok? And thanks for everything. Love you lots. ;)

My Birthday Celebration

=) I bet many of my friends are waiting to hear about my birthday celebration. Well, I went out with my 'twin' friend, her boyfriend, and another two housemates. We dined at Thai Restaurant, really enjoyed the food and ate to our hearts' content! But I didn't enjoy myself.

Actually I have everything well-planned: When everyone's away celebrating my 'twin's' birthday, I would be able to lock myself in my room and have a little conversation with the Lord. What else can I do? There's no way my wish will come true anyway. So this is the only quiet time I have. But then, I decided to 'sacrifice' my plan for the sake of my 'twin' and my room-mate. My housemate was pretty shocked when he heard that I was going, so I joked that if I didn't go my 'twin' would be angry. She heard it, and she didn't talk to me for the whole night. So during the dinner, I kept 100% mute. Well, what can I say? I have totally nothing to talk about, and I was totally not interested in their conversation. I believe they even bought a birthday cake for the two of us to cut. But when we got home from the dinner, I told them straight in the face that I have already cut a cake and blown the candles, and I would not do it again, so just let the birthday girl who hasn't cut the cake do it, and then went straight into my room.

I'm expecting her to be really angry with me that time. But I'm more angry with her. Our ex-housemate bought a cake for us but she couldn't join us due to her sickness, so she asked our another ex-housemate to celebrate with us after lunch. My 'twin' didn't turn up. Her excuse for not coming - LAZY. That's a really LOUSY excuse! Since she wasn't there, so I cut the cake, and blew out the candles. I even carried half of the cake back home just for her, was walking really fast under the hot sun and I almost passed out because of the heat. What did I get out of that? NOTHING. She wasn't even interested to know who were there with me. Not even a thank you.

She still doesn't understand why I refused to go (anywhere) in the first place. The reason is simple: I feel very uncomfortable when her boyfriend is around. Whenever he is there, I can't talk to her freely. And I cannot tolerate it when they keep looking each other in the eyes and feeding each other in front of me (I tried, but I can't!). She will have to make a choice: If she wants to go out with us friends, her boyfriend should not follow; if he wants to follow, they should 'behave' themselves and no 'lovers activities'. Many of my friends warned me not to tell her that, for it will be a tough decision for her. My room-mate commented that it might ruin our friendship. Since the both of us are having a deep conflict now, it will be wiser for me to keep quiet and keep out of sight. Silence is the best solution for now.

That's the sad side of the story that doesn't worth remembering. Now the happy moments. To Man Kheong, TKY and Meng Yew, thank you for the fungus-infested 2 pieces of bread, it was such a 'brilliant' idea, such an a vant-garde!! To Bee Khim and Leena, thanks for the cross bracelet, it's really nice! The whole class sang birthday song for me! Thank you all, my dearest coursemates!! I was really touched!! Got 2 free meals from Sarah, SuYin and Yea Wen. My sincere thanks goes to each of you - you are such a buddy!! YenLi, thanks for the great cheese cake, it was YUMMY! Can we have a bigger one next year? (Kekekeke) And Mayza, thank you for the greatest and most creative birthday card I've ever received. You made me smile!! And for all the well-wishers who sent me sms: CK (thanks pal!), Jovita, Kathy, Sharlene, Jisis, Leslie Darling (=P), Sharon and Cecilia, thank you!! Although I didn't receive as much gifts and wishes compared to my 'twin', all your little deeds have already made my day! Nothing is more precious than doing small things with great love. Thanks to all of you! *flying kisses sending your way*