My Journey

Chinese New Year in Christian Context (2)

2012-01-22T16:01:00.001+08:00

It's Chinese (Lunar) New Year eve. Like any other Chinese families, my parents are busy with some last minute preparations and also getting some dishes ready for tonight's New Year Eve (thanksgiving) dinner. As for me, I try to help where I can when I'm summoned by them. But for now, I will just get this posted before they start calling for me again.

As a young Catholic, I have always wondered what does Chinese New Year have to do with Christianity. Is it really a culture for us Chinese, or is it some kind of cult practices, or occasions similar to Halloween that can be ignored by Christians?

Then I realised the answer is found in a pastoral letter I posted in 2006: Chinese New Year in Christian Context (1). Obviously, I did not understand what the letter was talking about until recently.

Tradition is important as it gives us our identity. Just as the Catholic Church has her own traditions passed down from the Apostles, so do the Chinese and all the races (and people) across the globe.

As a traditional practice for the non-Christian Chinese in particular the Buddhists on the eve of CNY, they would burn incense and give offerings to their gods as thanksgiving as well as presenting their requests and hopes for the new year. The same actually goes to us Chinese Catholics. On the first day of CNY, (most) Chinese Catholics would attend the Chinese New Year Thanksgiving Mass in the respective parishes (where the Chinese population is present). And we also have gifts offering to God during the Offertory.

Here are the explanations of the common gifts offered during CNY Mass:

1. The Bread and Wine
These will be turned into the Body and Blood of Christ at the Consecration. And at Holy Communion, we participate in the Body and Blood of Christ, the Risen Lord.

2. The Cake of the Year (年糕 "Nian Gao")
Made of pulut (glutinous) rice. Because of its glutinosity, is emblematic of eternal friendship. For us Christians, it means eternal friendship with God through our Baptism. Its stickiness is suggestive of a theory of standing by one another through thick and thin -- a universal brotherhood. Christians should stand by one another in Christ.

3. The New Year Oranges
Being fresh fruits, imply a new vigour and new lease of life. And for us Christians, it means that in the coming year we ask God to give us new vigour in our Christian life, and a new lease of life in Christ.

4. The Groundnut
The flower of life, and metaphorically it is called "Chang Sheng Guo" (長生果) - the nut of longevity. For us it means eternal life in Christ.

5. Money
Signifies the offering of ourselves. It is the giving of the fruits of our labour to God.

Source: Order of the Mass booklet for Chinese New Year, Holy Trinity Church, Kenyalang Park

A colleague shared with me the complaints of an ex-lapsed Catholic who has just recently returned to church and went for Gawai (Harvest Festival of the Sarawak Natives) Thanksgiving Mass in June last year. It went something like this: "What are these fuss all about? The gongs, the sape's, the music and the noise... This is the House of God, why are they celebrating a pagan festival in the church?"

In my opinion, this is a wrong mentality. The very reason why the Dayak (natives of Sarawak and Sabah) Catholics celebrate the Harvest Festival (- a tradition) in the church is that they acknowledge God as the One who provided for them throughout the year. Therefore, at every Harvest Festival, a thanksgiving Mass is offered with rice, maize, tuak (rice wine), etc. being some of the gifts for the Offertory.

So are they wrong by putting God first and making Him the Lord of the Harvests?

The same goes to the Chinese Catholics. Is it wrong for us to thank the Lord and ask Him for His continuous blessings for another new year? All the merry-making is secondary; it is the reunion of family members, rekindling of old friendships and making of new ones that count.

Indeed, a lot of celebrations like these are already 'christianised' by the Malaysian Christians. Perhaps, a proof of an increasing faith in God for Christians in Malaysia. Or perhaps, that's what we call "inculturation."

Wishing all Chinese brothers and sisters a joyous and blessed Chinese New Year!

Read also: Chinese New Year in Christian Context (1)

New year resolutions 2012

2012-01-20T17:40:00.000+08:00

I was on Skype with a non-Christian friend yesterday. Here was how our conversation went...

Friend:
“... everyone’s saving up money now for the coming Chinese (Lunar) New Year.”

Me:
“Yeah. But I hate Chinese New Year. It makes no difference whether I celebrate or not.”

Friend:
“I like Chinese New Year! It’s the time I assess and review my previous resolutions and make new ones for the coming year.”

That gave me a wake-up call, a reminder that there are good reasons why we should make resolutions and to assess our achievements and failures at the end of the year; to give thanks to the Lord for everything we have gone through, be it success or failures, because our experiences help us grow in maturity and strengthen our relationship with God.

Looking back, I realised I have gone quite far last year, compared to the years before, made possible by the good Lord. I really cannot imagine my life without Him. Thank you, Lord, with my whole heart and soul!

This year, I have decided to list down my resolutions. Definitely not to show off but as a self reminder that, like 2011, Year 2012 will zoom pass without me realising it and thus I should be clear about what I want to achieve this year, and waste no time to work towards the target or dream.

I want this year to be lived fully for Him alone...

1. Pray more, read more, reflect more, listen more, write more, and talk when necessary. This is how I would love to spend time with the Lover of my soul. I have a lot of Christian books lying on the bookshelf begging me to read them. I still have lots of books on my reading list too. Most of these books are thoughts provoking books by the saints and other well known author, which I borrowed from the Carmelite sisters. The only way to keep my mind active and intoxicated with Christ is through reading. If I do not start today, then when is the best time?

2. A silent retreat. I need a retreat desperately, but not the type of retreat with praising and worshipping in loud music (i.e. youth camps), attending talks and seminars which involve charismatic renewal (and anything charismatic), and anything of that sort which are noisy. My daily life in the hustle and bustle of the city is noisy enough, and I do not want any more noise to crowd out that still, small voice of God I long to hear. Therefore I am looking for a retreat centre that offers silent retreats. This year, I hope I will receive an answer from God for my vocation.

3. Practise humility. This resolution was added to the list towards the end of last year, and I would like to carry it forward into 2012. It is right and just that a servant be humble. If Jesus, a King, is able to bend low and wash His disciples’ feet, how much more should I, a servant, prostrate before Him in humble submission and service? “Grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled as to console, to be understood as to understand, to be loved as to love...” (Prayer of St Francis).

4. To be physically and spiritually fit. I am somewhat a health freak because I do understand that only with a sound mind and body can I give myself in total service to God and His people. Since my body is the Temple of the Holy Spirit (1 Cor 6:19-20), it is even more so that I should keep myself fit physically, and strive for holiness (1 Pet 1:14-16).

5. Put faith into action. I was in a Catholic Chatroom when I saw how a Protestant (who claimed himself a pastor) cursing the Catholic Church using all the foul languages ever existed. Is this really how a Christian should behave? Are lip services more than enough? “Faith by itself, if it is not accompanied by action, is dead” (James 2:17). I always tell friends that I detest those who do not practise what they preach, without realising that it is a strong statement which might force me to swallow my own words if I make the same mistake. And so I’m trying my best this year to judge less, speak more words of encouragement and compliment, and put love into action.

I do not know what 2012 holds for me. Undoubtedly, there will certainly be more workload. Perhaps more heartaches, more being taken for granted and being misunderstood; probably more disappointments, more obstacles to overcome, more storms to fight... but amidst all the difficulties that may come along the way, I pray that the Lord will continue to walk with me, for the joy of the Lord is my strength.

A blessed new year 2012, brothers and sisters in Christ!

Not alone

2011-10-29T11:58:00.000+08:00

Have you ever wondered off from your group of friends as you didn't feel like talking or listening to them? Did you have that urge of being left alone while in a crowd sometimes, particularly when you're feeling down?

I have. In fact, I do that very often. I would rather be left alone than to feel alone when I'm with a group of people. The latter, some said, is the worst form of loneliness one would experience.

I enjoy every bit of being alone. It gives me an opportunity to talk to the Lord, and being rest assured that He is always there listening.

Sometimes, I wish I could see and touch Him. Why not? Being a human, no matter how strong a person is, he / she still needs companionship, a shoulder to cry on, a loving embrace. It is even more so when we've loved Him for so long, but never been able to see Him face to face. At least not yet, not now. But I believe that whenever we call upon His name He is there with us, with His hand on our shoulders. Even though alone, His presence makes us feel secure and peaceful amidst our suffering and sadness.

If you feel lonely one day, why not try to imagine He's there and talk to Him as you would to your closest friend. Give Him a chance to be your friend.

"Fear not, for I am with you." (Is 41:10)

Amazed and amused

2011-08-22T18:48:00.002+08:00

As a Catholic, if this photo and video below fail to bring a smile on your face, I don't know what else would.

Pope Benedict XVI "plays" the piano cake during lunch with 12 young people on 19 August, World Youth Day Madrid11

I was simply speechless. No words could ever describe how amused I was (in fact, I still am!) when I watched the Holy Father pretending to play the chocolate cake piano.

Not just amused. I'm amazed at the same time! Amazed that His Holiness, as a Pope, the Successor of Peter, would unreservedly made himself available and open to the 12 young people present with him. Amazed that he could, with this little action, amuse the 12 youngsters.

I know that the Holy Father is an accomplished pianist, but I've never expected him to do such a thing... perhaps a bit silly to some, but to me it is a message from him: "Yes, I am the Pope, your shepherd here on earth. But I'm also your spiritual father and I'm concerned about you. I'm here for you. Please do not feel awkward. Make yourself comfortable with me. I love you."

That must have been the reason the twelve of them shared that it was just like a family dinner. Their conversation with the Pope wasn't planned beforehand. Just like family members at the dinner table. It was not so much about the food. It was the fellowship that counts.

Beautiful, isn't it?

I'm glad that the 12 volunteers enjoyed themselves with the Pope. And for me, I feel so touched when I saw the photo (above) and video (below).

Love you, Holy Father! Hopefully I would also have the privilege to have a meal with you someday. :)

Video of the luncheon:

A birthday party I missed

2011-08-12T15:38:00.002+08:00

The best birthday gift

August. A very busy month for me. Even on my birthday which was 9 days ago, I wished that no one would remember it. I even rejoiced when I found out that it falls on a weekday this year, so that there would be no celebrations, no wishes, no presents, and definitely no chance for pranks.

Why? Because this year, I have planned to spend time with my First Love. I know He would be throwing me a special party - the Eucharistic celebration. The perfect party, the best Gift... and the perfect way to give thanks to Him who gave me life and who have journeyed with me everyday for 29 years.

Most unfortunately, I didn't make it to that party. It could have been a grand one - my birthday and the feast day of St John Vianney, the patron saint for priests.

It was a rare occasion when a friend of mine on MSN started to ask me about Christ and Salvation History. I was totally engrossed in explaining to her Christ's love for the world. An opportunity to evangelize! When I finally checked the clock, it was 15 minutes before Daily Mass at the closest parish from my office (also the one I've planned to go to) would begin. Usually it only takes me less than 15 minutes to reach that parish. But that day, the traffic was exceptionally heavy and it took me more than half an hour to reach the church. By then it was too late. The Mass would end in less than 15 minutes.

Even if I would have decided to join the Mass then, it is incomplete as I have already missed the Liturgy of the Word, even though I would still be in time to receive Holy Communion. **

I was really sad. I really didn't know who to blame. Should I blame myself, for not telling my friend that we would continue the conversation some other time? Or should I blame God, who put me in such a difficult position? Have I done the right thing, for making the choice to continue the discussion with my friend? Is that considered a sacrifice? But then again, how much did that conversation benefit my friend? I have completely no answer for these questions.

As disappointed and perplexed as I've been, I chose to trust in the Lord, to stand on His promises. For St Paul says, "And we know that all things work together for good for those who love God, who are called according to his purpose..." (Romans 8:28). Perhaps, He has His secret agenda which is yet to be made known to me?

Anyway, there's another special occasion for me to look forward to -- Confirmation anniversary on 23 August. Dear Lord, may it be your will that I could attend a Mass this day, to renew my commitment and my "yes".

----------
Footnote:
**From Dei Verbum: "A person should not approach the table of the Bread of the Lord without having first been at the table of His Word." This is not so much of a rule (that if anyone is late for Mass, then he/she commits a sin), but it is to stress that every part of the Mass, beginning with the Introductory Rites until the Concluding Rite (the final blessing), is equally important. Although the Liturgy of the Eucharist is the climax in the Mass, one should not come in only to receive the Holy Communion or/and leave right after that before the Final Blessing. As one complete Mass consists of 4 parts, i.e. the Introductory Rites, Liturgy of the Word, Liturgy of the Eucharist, and the Concluding Rite, therefore it is very important that we are punctual and prepare ourselves well for Mass.

Youths should anticipate YouCat!

2011-07-22T18:33:00.007+08:00

One of the greatest advantages of working in the Archdiocesan Media team is the privilege to get news hot from the oven. And I'm very thankful to God for that blessing and privilege. :)

In February when I first read about YouCat, the Catechism of the Catholic Church (CCC) specially designed and produced for youths, I was very excited! For as much as I've tried to read the CCC, I still fail to totally grasp the details which are written in the so-called "church language", with a lot of 'big' words and terms. The CCC is never an easy book to read and understand, unless we are familiar with its language.

Unfortunately, not many Catholics in Kuching knew about YouCat. Even some Catechists and those who run Catholic gift shops have never heard of it today. Worse still, probably half of the Catholics here are not even aware of the presence of the CCC!

Anyway, I really envy those youths who are going for World Youth Day Madrid 2011 this coming August, for each of them will receive a free copy of YouCat.

What I really like about YouCat is none other than the language - simple and layman. Not only that, the whole chunks of texts we find in the original CCC are broken down into Q&A format, simplified and better elaborated.

Another point worth mentioning is the cute, relevant graphics that make YouCat much more attractive and appealing to the reader compared to the conventional CCC. This is exactly what it takes to attract young people -- colourful, graphical and simple yet compact and complete in its information.

Oh well, I might be the first person to find out about YouCat, but unfortunately I won't be the first person to have a copy of the book. Meanwhile, I'll just make do with with the old CCC. Fingers crossed, hopefully the wait wouldn't be too long!

Here is the trailer for the book.

Interesting, isn't it? :)

For everyone who don't have a copy of the Catechism of the Catholic Church at home, PLEASE remember to buy a copy of YouCat once it's made available in Kuching (or wherever you are). The Pope and his team have certainly worked hard to produce YouCat, therefore in the same way we should take this book seriously.

I totally agree with the Pope on this...

"You need to know what you believe. You need to know your faith with that same precision with which an IT specialist knows the inner workings of a computer. You need to understand it like a good musician knows the piece he is playing. Yes, you need to be more deeply rooted in the faith than the generation of your parents so that you can engage the challenges and temptations of this time with strength and determination."

Update 1 (13 August 2011):
YouCat has its own website: http://www.youcat.org/home.html. It's really neat! Check it out!

Update 2 (22 August 2011):
I've got my copy of YouCat! It's a birthday gift from a friend! :) Thank you, Lord!
All I can say is... this book is AWESOME!! And I really enjoyed reading it!

Prayer and our image of God

2011-07-19T19:00:00.007+08:00

Some people reading the banners on Carmelites spirituality.
The Triduum for the Feast of Our Lady of Mt Carmel has just ended yesterday. Every year at this time, the Carmelite nuns would specially invite me to attend the Triduum, but unfortunately, I always missed it. In 2009, I was in Singapore with the Daughters of St Paul for vocation discernment. In 2010, I went to Kuala Lumpur for a short vacation scheduled well before the invitation came from the nuns.

Deacon Bro Kenneth (left) and Fr Gregory Hon OCD (right) sharing their vocation stories.

This year, however, I was blessed enough to attend one evening Mass on 15 July. On 16 July, I managed to be with the Carmelites for half of their sessions. And this morning, I was given the privilege to meet the Carmelite priest, Fr Gregory Hon and Deacon Bro Kenneth.

Let me share a bit on the homily by Bro Kenneth on 15 July about prayer, which made me look at my own prayer life.

What is prayer? Prayer is simply relationship with God. But before entering into a relationship with Him, we need to have a correct image of who God is. To understand who God is, we need to understand who Jesus is. And thus, it is also important that we have a correct image of who Jesus is as well.

Someone once said this to me: “How we pray reflects who God is to us.”

Looking back when I was a young Catholic, I saw God as someone big and powerful. I made sure I said my prayers very morning and night in hope to please Him. It was more of a one-way communication where I asked for His blessings and protection. But as years gone by, I no longer see God as someone whom I need to constantly please. He’s a God who is all-powerful yet so gentle, a Mighty Judge yet so slow to anger, the King of the Universe yet He came down to our level through His Son, Jesus Christ; we are sinners but He calls us friends. Gradually, I moved from reading “set” prayers in the prayer book to using my own words. It is more personal now; just like having a conversation with my best friend.

Bro Kenneth is right.

If today I still think that praying is a duty that I must fulfill everyday, then being a Christian would be a burden to me. If I see God as Someone who’s always awaiting the opportunity to vent His anger and punishment at me when I sin, then I would never be able to enter into that friendship which Jesus has come to establish. As Christians, we know that Jesus came so that we may have life to the fullest (Jn 10:10).

Likewise, if I knew that a friend is trying to get close to me so that he/she could persuade me to buy an insurance policy from him/her, I would certainly draw a clear line between us.

But how can we have the right image of who God is, who Jesus is? The Bible is definitely the best source, Bro Kenneth shared. Therefore, we should take the Bible seriously and spend time to read and reflect, with the help of the Holy Spirit. If we have questions, we can always look the answers up from books, internet, or priests and those who understand the Bible better than us. Bro Kenneth also encouraged all who were present to sign up for Bible study classes.

We know that a lot of Catholics do not read the Bible. I even heard some who said something like this, “I can’t understand anyway, so why bother reading it?” But St Jerome, a father and doctor of the Church in the 5th century AD said, “Ignorance of Scripture is ignorance of Christ.” Without having any knowledge on Christ, how is prayer possible?

I think it’s a matter of how willing we are to spend time reading, studying, reflecting and praying (Lectio Divina) – or like one of our diocesan priests used to say, “wasting time” with the Lord. And I believe that when we have done our part in the attempt to grow closer in our relationship with God, He would also do His part by revealing Himself to us.

That is what the Carmelite sisters do everyday – immersing themselves in prayer and reflection, and practising of the presence of God while they carry out their daily chores.

Coincidently (I believe it’s not a coincidence after all), I came across an article written by the Carmelite sisters from Los Angeles which is also on prayer, but slightly more detailed with more references from the Carmelite saints. Worth a read, if you have some time to spare.

Those who stayed behind after Morning Mass gathered around the Altar (top) to listen to the sharing of one of the Carmelite sisters (bottom)

Written on 18 July 2011

An Easter to remember

2011-05-23T14:11:00.014+08:00

We are still in the Easter Season, so Happy and Blessed Easter, everyone! :)

It was a rather tiring Easter for me. Having to sleep late and wake up early for 3 consecutive days wasn’t that easy anymore when age has caught up on me. I was among the 880 youths who came from both the city and rural parishes in the Archdiocese of Kuching to attend Easter “Triduum Spirituality” which started from the evening of Holy Thursday to Easter afternoon. We spent 4 days 3 nights with the Archbishop of Kuching. “Triduum Spirituality” was a series of talks given by our Archbishop on the meaning behind Easter Triduum, their importance in our Liturgy, and how we could apply the message of these historical events in our daily lives.

Participants at TS in a discussion.

Believe it or not, this Triduum Spirituality (TS) programme was initiated by His Grace Archbishop John Ha (Archbishop of Kuching) himself. I had a shock of my life when I heard that he wanted to spend Easter with the young people. As far as I’m concerned, I wouldn’t have doubted if it was Blessed John Paul II who made such a request, knowing very well that he loved the young people. Even the Youth Leaders were surprised! But after attending the TS Servants’ Retreat (as shared by some friends) and TS itself, we were all amazed… not at the great wisdom and knowledge our Archbishop has, but the great effort he has put into TS preparation, which showed how important this event was for him, and his humility. Even though he’s our bishop, he came down to our (the youths) level and communicated with us in our language!

His Grace Archbishop John Ha speaking to the youths during the TS sessions.
I love his smile here. :)

As the mystery behind Easter was unfolded by His Grace, I (and many of us) experienced a more meaningful Easter. Perhaps, this was the best Easter ever in our lives. As for me, I somewhat saw a glimpse of Blessed John Paul II in our Archbishop (apparently, I still miss JPII very much!). I’m very thankful for what he’s done for the young people in the Archdiocese. And from a discussion I had with some of the Youth Servant Leaders (who went for the retreat prior to TS), I got to know that the Archbishop is very concerned of the youths in our Archdiocese. (I shall blog on the problems we recently faced in our country in a later post.)

Here I’m sharing some of the notes which I’ve taken down during the TS talks, and I pray that you may find them useful.

Holy Thursday (21 April 2011)

What is Triduum Spirituality? – We willingly allow the Holy Spirit to guide us into remembering our Salvation.
Passover is the greatest event in the Old Testament – the Israelites were led out of Egypt into freedom. Paschal is the greatest event in the New Testament – by Christ’s death and resurrection, we are all saved.
To remember an event = to make a past event present. The Paschal event is made present today through the power of the Holy Spirit. Through the Holy Spirit, we are able to experience God’s tremendous love for us and Christ’s passion, death and resurrection.
Jesus changed the Jewish Passover meal into the Eucharistic meal, which is His own meal!

The Meal was instituted by Jesus so that His Apostles could experience what would happen the next day, i.e. His passion.
Jesus asked His Apostles to remember Him and His sacrifice of Himself for the salvation of mankind.
The greatest gift Jesus gave us is His own body and blood. Whenever we receive Jesus in the Eucharist, we experience God’s love for us.

When Jesus foretold His betrayal by Judas (Mk 14:17) at the Last Supper, His disciples asked Him, “Not me, surely?” (Mk14:19). The Twelve were not even sure if they themselves were to betray Jesus, because they were following Jesus in uncertainty. For them, Jesus was a political ‘messiah’ who came to free them from political powers (i.e. Rome).

Good Friday (22 April 2011)

The giving of the Body and Blood of Christ during Holy Saturday came into reality on Good Friday.
Why is Jesus called the “supreme high priest” (Heb 4:14)?

A priest – a person between God and man, the mediator who brings man to God and God to man.
In the person of Jesus, God and man are united (for Jesus is both God and human).
Jesus’ offering of Himself united (reconciled) us with (to) God.

During the arrest of Jesus at the Garden of Gethsemane: when the soldiers said they were looking for “Jesus the Nazarene” and Jesus answered “I am He” (or “I AM), He was saying that He is God, the same God who appeared to Moses in the Burning Bush (Ex 3:14).
The Cross is the sign of our salvation.
During the Veneration of the Cross, we are venerating Christ’s Cross, the one which Jesus died on more than 2000 years ago.

Holy Saturday (23 April 2011)

The meaning behind The Service of Light:

Before the world was created, there was darkness. So God brought forth light.
When man sinned, darkness came into the world.
God sent Jesus, who is the Light.

The Easter Candle symbolizes Christ, who is our light at the creation of the world until the end of time.
The significance of the baptismal pool:

When the candidate for baptism enters the baptismal water, he/she participates in the death of Christ. (the act of going down into the pool symbolizes one’s entry into the grave/death)
As the newly baptized came out of the water, he/she participates in the resurrection of Christ (the act of arising of the pool symbolizes one’s coming out of the grave into new life).

On Easter, the women went to the tomb very early in the morning because they were afraid to be seen. They met the resurrected Jesus, but they did not tell the Apostles that Jesus asked them to meet Him in Galilee.
Jesus started His ministry in Galilee, and He brought the Apostles all the way from Galilee to Jerusalem. After His Resurrection, Jesus brought the Apostles back to Galilee to start all over again.

Photos courtesy of Hobart Kho from the Empowered Youth Ministry. Used with permission.

Happy 84th Birthday, Pope Benedict!

2011-04-16T10:25:00.005+08:00

A special video was made for Pope Benedict XVI's 84th Birthday, which is today.

To send the Holy Father birthday wishes, you can leave your message and prayers for the Holy Father through the Facebook page "The Papal Visit", or directly email your messages to benedict.xvi@vatican.va.

Do send him your birthday wishes to show your love and support towards him!

I happen to see this video below taken during the Pope's 81st Birthday at White House, US when browsing in Youtube.

Awww... so sweet!

Happy Birthday, Holy Father! We love you!!

Witnessing the First Profession of religious vow

2011-03-12T13:20:00.008+08:00

How do you define beauty?

Some of us might say it’s the pleasing appearance, the physical attraction. Some say beauty comes from within the individual – inner beauty. Some of us recognise the beauty and awesomeness of Nature that is beyond words, which reflects the beauty of the Creator. Our Creator.

Whatever the definition of beauty is, I’ve seen the most beautiful “brides”, and no other brides or ladies in the Beauty Contests could ever replace that simplest yet unforgettable image imprinted in my mind recently.

On 7 March 2011, I was invited by the Sisters of St Francis of Sarawak (SSFS) to attend the First Profession of 3 novices (now junior sisters) in the convent. It was really a privilege for me as only the family members and close friends of the sisters were invited to witness the ceremony. The Mass was presided by our Archbishop John Ha and assisted by 5 other diocesan priests.

The Rite of First Profession began right after the homily. The novices were called forward; the Archbishop blessed the habits which were then handed to the novices and they left to get changed. As they returned, they were smiling from ear to ear! Then they made their profession. As I was watching them, I also felt touched and happy for the sisters, as if I was witnessing my own sister saying “yes” to her bridegroom in a wedding. The whole Rite concluded with the Archbishop blessing the crucifixes and presenting them to the newly professed sisters.

The Superior General handing over the blessed habit to the novice.

After Mass, everyone was invited for a sumptuous dinner at the hall. As I sat there alone enjoying my food (of all those present I only know some of the sisters and they were too busy attending to their guests, and I was also too shy to mix), I stole a few glances at the three newly professed sisters who were sitting with their family. Somehow, the three of them attracted me. They looked so different from the first time I met them when they were in their novice wear (I think they call it "the garb of probation"). The only word I had to describe how they looked at that point of time was "beautiful".

Really, they were simply beautiful. They didn’t put on any make-ups, nor did they have fancy hairstyles and heels and gowns; all they had were simple-looking white habits which also have their hair covered. There was no special adornment on them except for a plain-looking crucifix.

Posing with the three sisters, Sr Margaret, Sr Rose and Sr Mary Magdalene

They were certainly not the most attractive girls I’ve seen. But when they made their vows, at that very moment as they offered themselves body, heart and soul to the Lord, transformation took place. They chose to sacrifice themselves, surrendering everything they possess to embrace a humble lifestyle of “poverty, chastity and obedience,” with total submission to their Bridegroom in response to His call of Sacrificial Love. Through this act of consecration, they were embraced by Love in return; their hearts echoed with joy and peace, which was expressed through their beauty. That radiance I witnessed on their faces was just indescribable, so much so that I was gazing at them in awe! Seeing their beauty, I couldn’t help but praise and thank the Lord for calling them, setting them apart for His divine plan.

Maybe that’s why those who chose religious life are so good looking. If you ever noticed, most of those who are actively (and humbly) involved in the Church always don’t look their age. In the same way, I believe, Christians are called to put God first above all things, embrace Love and allow Love to mould us, making us instruments of His love as we radiate that love in our daily living.

Jesus tells us in the Gospel, "… seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well" (Mt 6:33, NIV). We need not be too self-conscious, to the extent of forgetting our actual identity in Christ. Instead we should put our priority in nurturing our faith and grooming our inner self, for "people look at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart" (1 Sam 16:7). Eventually, our inner beauty will be reflected in our outward appearance, just like what I've witnessed in the three newly professed sisters.

As we pray for more vocations, let us also pray for ourselves, that we would courageously respond to His call to give ourselves unreservedly in the service of His people.

"Whenever we think of Christ we should recall the love that led Him to bestow on us so many graces and favours, and also the great love God showed in giving us in Christ a pledge of his love; for love calls for love in return." ~ St Teresa of Avila

Flower photo courtesy of Ewa Wiśniewska

Birth control using iPhone?

2011-02-19T03:59:00.006+08:00

I couldn’t believe my eyes when I saw this Durex advertisement.

And I just couldn’t believe it that the world has gone this far. To promote the use of contraceptives, they portrayed babies as nuisance and unwanted “objects” which can be prevented by simply using contraceptives.

Advertisement like this doesn’t just market a company’s product but at the same time destroys human dignity. Indirectly, it also encourages sex before marriage and probably abortion too. When people no longer regard babies as a precious gift from God, they would never hesitate to go for abortion.

Contraception is "any action which, either in anticipation of the conjugal act [sexual intercourse], or in its accomplishment, or in the development of its natural consequences, proposes, whether as an end or as a means, to render procreation impossible" (Humanae Vitae 14). This includes sterilization, condoms and other barrier methods, spermicides, coitus interruptus (withdrawal method), the Pill, and all other such methods. […]

But looking at the bright side of things, this iPhone application could be a simulation to help newly wed couples experience parenthood and learn parenting skills to get them ready before a baby comes.

So let’s just pray and hope that this application would turn out to be an educational tool instead of what the creator intended it to be.

Update:
On a different note, I had the opportunity to ask an online contact who's an Indian Muslim about Islam's teachings on abortion. To my surprise, he told me that abortion is haram in Islam -- abortion is totally banned as life begins at the time of conception -- therefore abortion is synonymous to murder. This is exactly what the Catholic Church teaches. This account of his was different from what I've heard from other friends previously, that as long as the embryo has not taken (human) shape, abortion can be done.

I'm not sure which is the correct version of the Islam teaching on the subject matter, but still I thank the Lord for the non Christians who are fighting for the rights of the unborn.

Vatican announces beatification of John Paul II

2011-01-31T18:31:00.000+08:00

I remember perfectly that I was on Twitter when I saw the tweet that went something like this: "Benedict XVI to beatify John Paul II on 1 May". And... I jumped for joy! (Luckily I was alone in my office, or else people might have thought that I was mad!)

But of course, to make sure that it was not another "prediction" of his beatification / canonization news, I clicked the link to read the full news report.

Indeed, it is true! Pope Benedict XVI approved the miracle -- healing of the nun from Parkinson's disease, and announced the beatification! It's a tripple joy ... John Paul II is also the official patron of World Youth Day Madrid 2011!

My Editor, knowing that I’m a huge fan of John Paul II, gave me the honour to be the first person to share my love for this great pope with Today’s Catholic readers, which will be published and on sale the second weekend of February. It took me almost two weeks to think of what and how to write. But then I think I've been wasting these two weeks because when I finally sat down in front of the computer, I was at a total lost again.

Anyway, I’m giving you the privilege to read my sharing first, unedited. (By the time this reaches the Editor, she would have cut it short already.) I'm not sure how many litres of tears I've shed when I was writing this. Sigh. I really miss him, you know. Sob.

So here's the short sharing:

As far as I remember, I got to know Pope John Paul II through the media. Back then, there was only the television, newspapers and church magazines.

While my parents told me “children should be seen and not heard,” John Paul II called the young people “my dear friends”. His appearances always drew crowds of young people to himself. I saw them cheering when he spoke to them. I saw them in tears of joy when he went around to greet his young audience. He showed great affection and care for the youths. I even read about how he forgave his would-be assassin.

But my first and deepest impression was him kissing a baby so lovingly. It reminded me of the story of Jesus welcoming children told by Luke (Lk 18:15-16). It must have been then that I started to be “in love” with him. Although too young to understand his messages, I learned about who Jesus is through his works and example. His passion for the people he met, especially the youths, the sick and the suffering proved his tremendous love for Christ. After the internet has become a necessity at home, I started to learn more about this Pope and his messages. I simply “clicked” with this Pope and he was a figure I always looked up to.

About seven years ago, I told myself that the World Youth Day would be the first international gathering I would go to meet John Paul II in person once I have a steady income. Unfortunately, that day never came.

On 2 April 2005, I woke up next to my computer at 3 am to check the internet for any updates on John Paul II who was very sick then. Finding none since midnight, I went to bed. The next morning during the Easter Mass, the Parish Priest announced the death of John Paul II. Upon hearing this news I was absent-minded throughout the Mass. When I reached home after Mass, tears started to pour. His last words to those who kept vigil in St Peter’s Square seemed to be also for me: “I have searched for you, and now you have come to me, and I thank you.” It took me more than one year to get over the pain and sorrow of losing him, my teacher and my friend.

Even though I never had the chance to meet him, I finally made it to World Youth Day Sydney 2008. I thanked the Lord for John Paul II and for this life-changing event which he initiated.

The news of his beatification is music to the ears of those who love him. As we count down to John Paul II’s beatification on 1 May, I also patiently but eagerly looking forward to his canonisation.

Dear Pope John Paul II, I will be there in Vatican to witness your canonisation!

P.S I just realised that my command of English has gone down the drain. But thank you for bearing with me! Oh by the way, is anyone planning to go to Pope John Paul II's canonization in the future? Let me know, maybe we could meet and say hello! ;)

Leading by example

2010-10-02T20:15:00.003+08:00

I thought I could need a little warm up for my brain before I go into writing a news article for Today's Catholic. I realised that I haven't been writing much these days, thus my rusty brain. Even though that article seems to be rather easy to write (well, at least the Editor thought so), apparently it is not so for me since: 1. it's very last minute; and 2. I'm a person who just cannot cope with last minute work... and the end result has never been satisfactory.

Alright. Putting work aside for now and trying to recall a particular situation which I came across two months ago.

Keeping the long story short... I found out that this person, who holds a high position in one of the local catholic organisations in charge of newsletters production, the person whom I looked up upon highly, did something very selfish. It was an act that is unfair to all those who had contributed to the newsletter that month (these contributors were not aware of it). I was totally disappointed, and I could hardly believe what I've witnessed. Since then the good impression I had towards this person has changed. I'm now more reserved and careful when working with this person.**

A thought struck me: Being a leader in the church is easy; being a good leader after Christ's own heart is not. Jesus mentioned leadership in the Gospel, "... whoever wants to become great among you must be your servant, and whoever wants to be first must be slave of all" (Mark 10:43-45). In other words, good leaders are those with humble hearts.

Although I'm currently one of the Core Team members in the Parish Youth Ministry, I don't see myself as a leader. I cannot see myself as a leader because I'm just not qualified! I do not possess the most important quality of a leader -- humility. I would rather have the lowliest position in the ministry... a servant. I like receiving instructions, not giving them.

Ever since Pope John Paul II returned to our Heavenly Father, I've been searching for another [human] leader whom I can follow, but so far, there is no one like Pope John Paul II.

Of course, being a Christian all of us are called to lead by example, no matter who we are. Be it a parish councillor or a worker assigned to keep the toilets and church compound clean and tidy, we ought to spread the Good News to others. And the best way to do it is through example.

Here in Kuching, we sometimes see non-Catholic Christians going door to door to tell people about the Good News. For me personally, I do not quite agree with such a method. What's the use when you do not practise what you preach? Well, unless you're happy with non Christians calling you "hypocrites".

A reminder for myself (and everyone else): At the end of everyday, it is important to look at myself and see if I've ever been rude, inconsiderate, selfish and unreasonable during the day, which not just left bad impressions on both Catholics and non-Catholics alike, but also prevented the Lord to work through me and those people I came in contact with during the day.

**Note: I have no intention of putting the person down. It is for my own personal reflection only.

No longer luke warm

2010-09-05T11:10:00.006+08:00

I celebrated my 12th Confirmation Anniversary on 23 August. Well, nothing grand. It shouldn't even be called a "celebration". Not sure what caused my procrastination that day until I missed the Mass which I've planned to attend. I fell asleep that night without bothering to say Thank You to the Lord.

Hmmm... what a celebration, huh?

The next day, something came into my mind that I should read the reflection for 23 August on Holy Spirit Interactive website. I did, and found it quite disturbing. "What differences have I made ever since I became an employee of the Archdiocese of Kuching? What significant impressions have I made especially upon the younger members in our youth group?" I kept pondering on these two questions for a few days, feeling a bit surprised that I had no answer.

Then recently, I had a dream. I was hanging out with some parish youths at a cozy cafe when I received a phone call. Someone who claimed to be the internet service provider asked for my details. Knowing that it was a scam, I was pissed off and spoke very impolitely to the person, ending the conversion with a curse. Putting my phone away, I noticed the youths were staring at me, shocked and couldn't believe that I've just cursed. I woke up instantly. [The dream was so real that I could remember it until today! I usually have dreamless sleep. Even though I do dream sometimes, I don't seem to remember a thing from the dream.]This provoking dream caused me to ponder even more... am I a bad influence to the youths?

This morning, our priest's sermon struck me again. He shared with us that, although he's been a priest for more than 30 years, he found that the journey gets tougher over the years as he tried his best to be a good priest. And so it is being a Catholic, he added. When one is a newly baptised Catholic, everything seems to be easy and smooth-sailing. But as one journeys further, temptations, disappointments, etc. keep coming one's way.

I agree with him. I guess it is so too with the life of a single and a married. Being a single myself, I don't find life getting easier. As I grow older, there are more matters to consider, more people to entertain and care for, more things in my to-do-list, more responsibility on my shoulders; and many a times I tend to put myself first on the Priority List while leaving God aside.

Now back to the earlier questions.

For the past nine months I've been comfortably hiding in my comfort zone, doing what I love doing (working with computers and media). Perhaps it's way too comfortable that I started to procrastinate and become lazy. Okay, my resignation from a high paying job to be a full time employee of the Archdiocese with a much lower pay may have earned myself some admiration and respect from friends and youths. But is that all I'm searching for in life? WHAT do I actually want to achieve in life? What kind of impressions do I want others to have on me?

Nine months... it's time to be "born again". It's time to pick up the things that I've planned to do but left off nine months ago. It's time to "pin" God permanently on the top of the list.

Thank you, Lord, for that little nudge you gave me. I'll give myself another year to evaluate how mature I've grown spiritually and mentally.

This is my prayer for today, sharing it with everyone:

About Me

2010-08-23T11:18:00.002+08:00

Who am I?

I'm a Malaysian Chinese. My grandparents came from China; they came to Malaysia to flee from the 2nd World War. How did they become Catholics, I've never raised this question to them. Perhaps I should, one fine day.

I was born into a Catholic family, but I was not baptised until I reached 14 years of age. My Confirmation was two years after that. I did (and still do, sometimes) blame my parents for not bringing me up the Christian way, but when I come to think about it, God must have a purpose when He let that happen.

Since young, I was (sometimes, I still am) constantly "brain washed" by my parents, relatives and friends to see the world the way they see it but as my soul matures and my relationship with God deepens, I started to understand what superstition really is. My parents and relatives labelled me as a "rebel" and "Jesus freak".

I believe I have passed the stage of life where I search for my own identity -- a stage in life which young people have to go through. I believe I have found my true identity: in Christ, I am God's beloved child, and nobody can take this identity away from me because this is who I really am. I used to be very self-conscious; I did not like my own look, nor did I like myself. I was told by a speaker in one healing seminar that I had problem with self-image. But today, right at this moment as I am writing this, I would say that I am no longer my old self. I am more confident, I have my own dressing style and I no longer think that other people's opinion of who I am is important. I no longer try to meet the expectations of others and to please others. I understood that my existence in this world is as important as everyone else -- we are all called to imitate Christ, to live to the fullest and to love like He has loved us.

Christ is my Number One. It is Him that I draw strength and love from. And it is Him whose expectations I want to meet.

What do I want to achieve in life?

When people ask me this question, I find that it is rather difficult for me to answer. I dreamed of becoming a medical doctor during my upper secondary years, but my results did not allow me to do so. All I knew is that, since then (when I bid my doctor-dream goodbye) I put my life in God's hands and He has been leading me all the way, even though I still don't know what I really want in life.

I was working as an environmental executive (a junior environmental consultant). I strongly believe that it was He who put me in the environment field. He taught me to recognise Him in the beauty of nature -- the trees, the animals, the biodiversity, and human life. I don't just work for the sake of money. I'm a pro-lifer -- because of Him, I work to protect life: the nature, the environment as well as human life.

In 2010, I gave up the high-paying job of environmental consultant and answered God's call to serve full time in the media team of the Archdiocese of Kuching. The pay is not as good as the previous one and the workload is even greater, but I am contented and I love the working environment here. There is plenty of chances to have quiet time with the Lord, plenty of time to do reflection, and plenty of time to read more on Theology. Althought life is slightly more difficult than it used to be, I witnessed how the Lord's providence has kept me and my family safe and sound.

Although I am no longer directly in touch of environmental issues related to development in the country, I still promote and do my best to explain to fellow Catholics the importance of conserving and protecting the environment, respecting God's creation as He wills - for we are His stewards, and it is the sacred duty given by God to each human person to preserve life, not destroy it.

How do I see myself in a few years time? Is this what you want to do for the rest of your life? My colleagues and some friends raised these two questions to me. My answer has always been "I don't know." Period. All I want to do is to hold His hand and follow wherever He leads me.

Purpose of This Blog >>

Benedict XVI 7th oldest pope in history

2010-07-21T09:03:00.003+08:00

I find this video clip pretty amusing. And educational too! I've never thought of comparing the age of the popes in history; who was the youngest, who was the oldest.

Looks like Pope Benedict and John Paul II are both in the Top 10 list.

The 6th oldest pope is Pope John Paul II who lived 84 years, 10 months and 15 days. Pope Benedict would pass John Paul II on 29 February 2012.

At the top of the list, The oldest pope in history was Pope Leo XIII, aged 93 years, 4 months and 19 days. Pope Benedict would have to live to 3 September 10 years from now to pass Pope Leo.

Long live the Pope!!!

A new chapter

2010-07-11T16:55:00.007+08:00

I've finally settled down after 6 months in a completely new working environment.

I am now an employee of the Archdiocese of Kuching, and I help in the publication of the monthly archdiocesan newspaper. I have a nice office of my own just next to the chapel, with quiet and serene environment. I am alone in the office most of the time, but I simply enjoyed it. I told everyone who asked -- that I am alone but definitely not lonely! It is equally stressful compared to my previous consultancy job, but still I love this new responsibility.

Being a full time servant of the Church is what I've always wanted, and I thank the Lord for the opportunity to be employed by Him! I don't know how my parents feel about it now, but I seldom hear them express their disappointment about me changing job (they were really mad with me when I told them about my resignation last year). Although now I have just enough to live on (unlike 3 years ago, I used to have extras every month to spend on entertainment and food), the Lord sends me generous friends who added more colours to my life!

It is the beginning of a whole new chapter as I continue my journey with Christ. My Spiritual Directress used to tell me, "Unless you take a step forward, you would never know what is in front." Still struggling with work and getting myself familiarised with the whole changes, I am yet to find out what the Lord has planned for me for His own glory. But I guess for now, first thing first -- being a true servant physically, spiritually and whole-heartedly; practising a lifestyle of servanthood and worship, and avoid being lukewarm. Undoubtedly, I have seen and experienced much more than before.

We can't stop how other people look at us, but as long as what we're doing is done out of love for Christ, then nothing else matters!Looking forward to new adventures and challenges that are coming my way... of course, I am way too frail and afraid to go into the unknown, but with Jesus by my side and standing on His promises and love, I know my life will be interesting.
[Lastly, I thank those who have been in this journey together with me all these while. Thank you! And I hope that we will continue to journey and grow spiritually together. Amen.]

Pope Ben and the Itsy Bitsy Spider

2010-05-02T10:01:00.005+08:00

I was cruising around for some information on Year for Priests but got attracted by this video's interesting title. I had a good chuckle!

It's true, "not all perils faced by priests today are big ones..."

Well, I presume that the spider did not climb up Pope Ben's face or neck, or it would have been flattened. *chuckled*

The Memory of Year 2005... gone

2009-12-30T00:55:00.004+08:00

I've just realised that my parents took down and discarded the wall calendar of Year 2005, which I've kept all these years as a remembrance of the dearest late Pope John Paul II's death. The exact time and date of his death, his birthday, etc. were all marked on the calendar. It broke my heart so tremendously when I saw that it was replaced by the calendar for Year 2010.

I've never been this sad before... so very sad. And disappointed at the same time, not understanding why my parents would change and/or throw my things away without first asking for my permission.

Remembering my hero

2009-11-21T20:50:00.004+08:00

I could not help but missing him for these few days. It all started with a conversation with my friend from Kuala Lumpur. She attended a talk by a well-know Taiwanese writer, Liu Yong that night, and shared with me that he made a difference in her life through his books and writings. She has already met him in person, twice. I even had the chance to look at her photos... she's so blessed to be able to meet her teacher and hero. I, then, shared with her that one man whom I have loved, looked up to and will love for the rest of my life. It brought me to tears when I told her how lucky she has been; as much as I wanted to meet my hero, the Lord called him home even before there was any opportunity for me to grab!

Today, I was attending a seminar on St. Paul's First Letter to the Corinthians when the speaker mentioned Pope John Paul II several times. He told us how John Paul II publicly apologised to the whole world for the past mistakes made by the Catholic Church; while the ex-President of United States, realising his own mistakes and errors, still remained silence all the while. Admitting one's mistakes is a very humbling act, and no leaders would ever do such a stupid thing. But the most foolish man in the world did it -- John Paul II, who later became one of the greatest and most respected leader in the world. I was so touched when I heard what John Paul II had done during his lifetime. This is my role model and inspiration!!

I found this forum with a lot of pictures of the late John Paul II, many of which I have not seen before. Some of these photos made me cry really hard. How I long to meet him in person!! And how much I've missed him ever since he left us. Sharing this forum with all of you who have loved John Paul II as much as I do.

Photo courtesy of The Pope Benedict XVI Forum.

Revamp and updates

2009-11-01T22:30:00.000+08:00

I have not been blogging for quite a long time. Yes, I do miss blogging! I feel that it is not appropriate to leave this blog inactive for so long, and I should have some updates posted on my life at this point of time.

It all started with World Youth Day. A lot of things happened ever since World Youth Day '08. I came back home feeling empty, not knowing what was missing. I could no longer work as my heart was longing for that something. So I started searching, and by God's grace I was invited to Singapore to stay with and observe the Daughters of St. Paul. Although I was not able to see how exactly their schedules go, I had the opportunity to stay with them for more than a week and experienced the life in a convent, and that was actually more than sufficient to help me move forward.

Not too long after I came back from Singapore, I received another greater invitation -- to work as a full time staff for the Archdiocese in the Mass Communication team (i.e. production of Today's Catholic newspaper and all works related to the media in the church). It took me quite a while to pray and discern whether this is what God has called me to. It was seriously not easy as I discerned and at the same time struggled with work. After a few weeks of considering, I finally said "yes" to God. My parents are not happy, and I still receive a lot of discouragements from others. But these will not stop me from going forward to be a full time servant, because I really love the Lord and it is my desire to have Him as my Employer.

I have just tendered my resignation last Friday with a two months notice and I shall be with the Archdiocese officially beginning January 2010. Right now I am struggling with the remaining work in hand and hopefully everything will go smoothly until the last day of my employment with the current company. Your prayers are greatly appreciated!

Well, I will certainly tell you more about this once I have settled down with my new job. I thank you for coming back here once in a while to check on me. =)

Dear all,

I'm currently doing some repairing to my blog. Things are in a mess right now, but feel free to read all the previous posts. Hopefully it will be up and running soon.

Thanks for coming back! God bless.

Beginning Anew II

2009-02-03T09:12:00.001+08:00

I am still continually praying so that I no longer live in fear. When I was browsing around two days ago, I landed on a sharing by Darlene Schacht. I know that this wasn’t an accident or coincident. The Lord spoke to me again through these words:

Work and prayer represent the two forces that will ensure your success. Your work and My work. For prayer, believing prayer, is based on the certainty that I am working for you and with you and in you. Go forward gladly and unafraid. I am with you. With men your task may be impossible, but with God all things are possible.

The words of comfort and assurance that I’ve really needed.

This is what I learn from those words. The secret of success is hard work and fervent prayer. No matter what we want to do, as long as it is not against Love and we willingly trust our work and ourselves in His hands, we should go ahead courageously keeping in mind that He is there with us and He is also working for us, with us, in us and through us.

Sometimes we feel that He is so far away, but the truth is that He is nearer to us than we could ever imagine or comprehend.
May your journey with God today be a challenging but fun one.

Faith is confident assurance concerning what we hope for, and conviction about things we do not see. – Hebrews 11:1

Beginning Anew

2009-01-25T15:56:00.000+08:00

It was the eve of Chinese (Lunar) New Year. I was busy online, searching for some Bible verses. My dad yelled at me over a small matter – I had not taken my shower. That incident actually triggered some series of incidents that happened right before New Year 2009.

I was all stressed out. People threw me with the resolution question, which I had no idea how to answer. I had nothing in mind then. I did not know what I wanted to do or achieve in another new year. I only knew that I did not accomplish much in year 2008. Each time I came across the same question, there was only fear.

How could I not feel afraid? I left behind days of failures, sorrows, bad memories, hurts… so much failure that it overshadowed the victory I’ve known. When I looked forward, I could only see darkness, loneliness, perhaps more failures that sent me a paralyzing fear that I could not resist. I tried my best to avoid this popular topic whenever I could. However, this unnecessary worry and stress continued to worsen till the eve of New Year.

On the night of New Year’s Eve, our parish organized a dinner cum countdown party for all parishioners. Right before I left for church that night, I had a quarrel with my dad. Again, over some small matters (which I can no longer remember today). This time, the very last bit of hope I’ve been holding on to so far shattered to pieces. I had to put on a mask of joy while keeping anger and sadness suppressed inside. At the end of the dinner and before another event by the youths began, a friend asked me to stay close to the stage while they were performing as they needed my “help”. I suspected it to be another prank and of course, I would not be so stupid as to agree on being their “victim”, especially not that time when I was struggling with the anger deep inside. I left the party before it started. Another group of friends called to ask me out as I was on the way home. They were in a pub, getting ready to count down. They knew about my anxiety and advised me to go out, have fun, forget about the past, and get ready to face the future. How could I ever enjoy myself when I was totally immersed in my past failures and hopelessness? I said no.

At home, I locked myself in the room, tried to relax myself as I chat with my other friends online, but unfortunately, nothing worked. Tears started to flow. I could not contain it anymore. I broke down totally at the Lord’s feet.

"…Father, I’ve failed through and through. I failed loving others. I failed loving You. I failed to show that I truly love You. I failed to keep my promises to You. I failed You! Father, I no longer know how to face tomorrow... Help me…!"

Amidst the tears, I remembered the messages the Lord has spoken to me a few days ago through my friends...

Be firm and steadfast! Do not fear nor be dismayed, for the Lord, your God, is with you wherever you go. – Joshua 1:9

God is faithful and will not let you be tried beyond your strength; but with the trial he will also provide a way out, so that you may be able to bear it. – 1 Corinthians 10:13

Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by name: you are mine. Because you are precious in my eyes and glorious… Fear not, for I am with you… – Isaiah 43:1-5

My grace is sufficient for you… - 2 Corinthians 12:9

The fireworks then were at their full blast. Watching the firework display, my tears subsided, the inner storm gradually quietened. I dozed off and woke up the next morning feeling that my burden became lighter.

Although a tinge of fear still exists today, it is no longer as tremendous as it used to be. I used to ask the Lord why He did not change the others so that they would cease giving me so much problem. I was wrong all these while to think that way. "For others to change, I must change first." This is one of the favourite sayings of our parish priest, Fr. Stephen Lim. It is time I change myself.

Today, I'm starting my life anew again. I updated the outdated to-do list I used to have, renewed my pledge of love for the Lord, and offered up my whole self and all my dreams and deepest desires for His glory alone.

"I can do everything through him who gives me strength." – Philippians 4:13

Happy Chinese New Year to all who celebrate the Lunar new year!

------
Note from the author: I had to pluck up great courage to have this personal sharing posted. It wasn't easy to reveal the shame and pain I experienced. At the weakest and most hopeless point of my life, I usually prefer to pour everything out to the Lord in prayer and in tears. That is why I've never shown my sorrow in the public. I have to agree that it is not easy to confide in and love someone I cannot even see, but faith tells me that He has been always there for me and has never left my side. Thank you, Father God.

WYD'08 Syd II: Our Daily Journey

2008-09-06T14:36:00.004+08:00

A lovely dinner with our host family in Sydney. Thank you all for your hospitality! Standing (left to right): Me, Shawna, Pete. Seated: Sarah (right) and her elder sister, Anne..

Last Monday was a holiday for all Malaysians for the celebration of our Independence Day. Sr. Perpetua, the Franciscan nun who went together with us to WYD invited a friend and I over to her place (convent) to have a catch-up session with each other. We had lunch and at the same time, we shared with each other what we’ve received from WYD08.

When it was my turn, I expressed my worries as to why my testimony was different from others. Most pilgrims who have been to World Youth Day would probably say that WYD is all about the Catechesis by the Bishops, the prayers (i.e. Station of the Cross, Taizé, etc.), fellowship with many other pilgrims from all corners of the world, the exchange of cultures, the journey from one location to another, meeting the Pope, and how these encounters actually touched them but for me, it was rather a different experience. According to Sr. Perpetua, it is more to the spiritual aspect.

From the first day I landed in Melbourne till the last day when I left Sydney, the journey we had was in a hassle. We had to wake up very early in the morning, rushed to the church for Morning Mass and after a fast breakfast, we rushed off to the venue of respective events. Those who were younger and stronger walked in front with faster pace, while the rest were trying to catch up with them. Occasionally, we had to stop just to wait for those who were far behind and because of that, those at the front were not very happy and made some nasty remarks. The whole journey on foot from one place to another was unpleasant, particularly when all of us had to rush and we could barely enjoy the scenery or observe our surroundings. The worst part was when we had to walk up a sloppy road, which left me breathless at one point of time and I was almost left behind by my group! Every night by the time we reached home (of our hosts), it was almost midnight.

Having our group photo snapped for remembrance at St. Joseph Church, Chelsea, Melbourne. Our priest in his (white) cassock is Fr. Simon.

This journey of rushing from east to west made me realize something: Life itself is a journey. Some people travel through life hastily, so fast that they let many beautiful moments pass them by. Some took their sweet time as they savour every moment of life, be it times of sorrow or happiness. Some others, even though they are way ahead, they are still willing to stop and wait, or even go back for their friends who are left behind. Of course, there are also those who refuse to wait and prefer to be Number 1 in everything, and they would do anything to reach their destination.

Someone told me that this is the reality of life; life goes on no matter what happened and it does not wait for anybody. Time and tide wait for no men, as the saying goes. Yes, this is true about our present life. However, I still believe that each of us does not need to follow the crowd and the worldly trend. We are all given the choice of how we want to live our lives. Why do we have to rush through life? Why need to compete with our fellow travellers? Is the final achievement more important than the process or the journey of getting there? At Judgement Day, would we be judged according to our achievement?

Life is short, and it is not easy to live a life we are called to live, especially with the presence of endless temptations and worldly desires that never fail to attack us everyday. Amidst all the difficulties we face, we still ought to live our lives to the fullest possible. One day at a time, one step at a time. We may be behind others in many aspects (e.g. wealth, career, knowledge, health, etc.), but what is more important is to take time to ponder and appreciate what we have gone through at the end of the day, and at the same time eagerly await to witness His glory again in the mystery of tomorrow.

WYD 08, Sydney I

2008-08-18T22:23:00.001+08:00

Finally! How I miss blogging! I thank all those who came back to check out how I've been doing. Unfortunately, I haven't been doing too well after I came back from World Youth Day in Sydney. Work, especially; and I've fallen sick for the second time in 30 days. Not good, but I thank that Lord for never deserting me no matter what happened along the way.

I've written a short testimony below, which was published in our local Catholic Newspaper - Today's Catholic. It took me quite a while to come up with this testimony, as I really needed time reflecting on the whole journey... beginning with the night before we left for Australia to the time we finally reached home.

This was my first World Youth Day and hopefully there will be more to come.

What touched my heart was not seeing the Pope live, or meeting the other people from other countries, or attending the many WYD events. What really mattered was something deep within. The words of a parishioner from St Nicholas of Myra Church, "...thank you for making a difference," the hospitality of our host families and their wet eyes as they saw us leave, made me wonder. What difference have we made, besides making so much noise in the streets and disturbing the daily lives of our host families and the parishioners? A good friend of mine said it well, "...you did not make any difference, but it was God, through you, made a difference in their lives..."

She was right.

For me, World Youth Day is not only about meeting our dear Pope and other pilgrims, or participate in the prayers and other events. It is about how open we are to the Holy Spirit, and how ready we are to allow the Lord to use us to touch each other's life. As the theme of WYD '08 goes: "You will receive power when the Holy Spirit comes upon you, and you will be my witnesses..." (Act 1:8)

I welcome comments as well as your personal sharing if you were also there during World Youth Day Sydney. Or if you have a blog where you posted your testimony, let me know so that I can link your to mine. I will also be sharing about my other encounters and some photos as well in a few days from now. Stay tuned for more! *wink* Thank you and God bless!

It's a Hoax!

2008-07-24T23:50:00.003+08:00

*Last update (23.10.09)* Unfortunately, this dough is still on the spread to Catholics everywhere in the world today. My advice to everyone: Do not be a blind believer, without first going through prayers and discernment. The best people whom you can go to for opinion are the priests and bishops. It is very dangerous when you believe blindly as you are opening the door to the Evil one to lead you astray. Think about it; if this is the miraculous dough as it claimed to be, then the Church would have accepted it since decades ago and Catholics / Christians from every corner of the world should have known about it today. I have said what I need to say. If you do find a document supporting this dough or words from priests that approve of it, do let me know by sending me an email. Thank you and God bless you all.

*Updated (24.7.08)* I realised that this dough is still spreading among the Catholic faithfuls, so I've decided to move it up to the top of the posts. I sincerely hope that this post and its comments will be able to help those who heard or received this dough to make decisions. God bless.

I have posted on the miraculous dough which many local parishioners believe and even 'shared' with their friends. I took some home too, nope I didn't bake it nor followed its instructions; I just kept it there and let it be. After a while, I forgot about it totally.

When I suddenly realized that presence of the dough and the cake which I've brought back, it was already moulded. That was only two weeks after I brought them back. The pictures below were taken when I found them to be moulded.

The moulded cake. Third succession of bread mould can be observed.

Compared with the original dough, this one stink and its texture had changed - it shrunk.

I did a little bit of 'decoding' of the mystery behind the so-called "Miraculous Dough". It's based on my personal theory, so it might not be right. If you do not agree or have a better idea/explanation, feel free to leave them in the comment box.

The use of clean wooden spoon: No special purpose, but probably to avoid contact of dough with surfaces that might cause moulding, as it was to be kept for 10 days before it is baked.

The smell of the dough:

Its odour and form gives one an idea that it has yeast even though it does not.

I don't believe it is true. The smell might have come from a very small amount of yeast or/and a large amount of yogurt. Yogurt might be the reason for the dough to last for more than a week.

It will never mould:

Even though it is kept out of fridge it never moulded.

Look at the two photos above, and tell me, do you think this is true?

The history / origin:

It is also known as Pope Pius bread. The story is told that an Italian woman who was suffering all her life from illness that she could not even do her house chores. One day her daughter asked to bake her a cake. She refused more than once because she was unable to do it. The daughter insisted so much taht the mother felt she needed to bake that cake. She asked the aid of the Virgin Mary. As soon as she started to prepare the cake, the Virgin Mary appeared and she herself prepared the cake for the woman...

Again, I doubt it's true. I found out that the Amish Friendship Bread is quite similar with the preparation of this "miraculous dough". I had a discussion with a good friend, and both of us suspected that somebody adapted this Friendship bread and turned it into some kind of Marian devotion, for the purpose known only to that person who created it.

A few friends of mine, after reading my previous post on this dough and cake, told me that their mothers (strange, why is it always mothers and ladies who believed?) also took some home and bake it for the family. I got the dough and the cake from a physically sick sister-in-Christ. I even heard that this 'recipe' has spread to other churches in Kuching.

One vivid conclusion which we can make from this incident is that people are hungry for God. They are so hungry and desperate that they took the wrong measures to obtain His grace and blessings. They grab anything that claims to earn or that can bring His blessings without first investigate its validity.

I guess that the only way to prove it to those who believed is by showing these evidence to them.

Let us keep in our prayers all our brothers and sisters that our risen Lord Jesus Christ would send us His wisdom to show us the right path to the Father.

Whose fault?

2008-05-23T19:04:00.009+08:00

I went to Mukah 3 weeks ago together with two colleagues and a Canadian (whom my boss hired to be part of our study team) to carry out survey for a project our company is currently handling. Working with a Caucasian isn't easy for me (first time!), but things were quite okay until the topic of homosexuality came into discussion.

And to my horror, the Canadian blamed it on the Catholic Church.

The discussion led all of them to an agreement, that homosexuality could have existed during the time of Napoleon and Hitler. It would have been the norm of the society then, until the Catholic Church interfered and listed it as a sin. And so were many other habits and acts, a good example being masturbation and the use of contraceptive methods. As they were having a good laugh while bashing the Catholic Church, I kept quiet all throughout dinner and tried to keep my anger down. Being the only Catholic girl among the men, what could I do besides calling to the Lord for help in my heart?

It was a surprise for me... people can be so wise but at the same time, so unwise! They can tell what the environmental issues are just through observation; they can make very accurate guesses just by talking to various agencies; they know how dirty politics are and can make wise judgements. At one point they did impress me with the knowledge they have, but once they started to touch on religion, I realised how little they know about the Lord and His wonderful laws.

Like many people in the world today, they seem to be contrasting themselves. They can go all out to ban activities that destroy the ecosystems; they urge others to recycle and protect the environment, they ban illegal poaching and put animals that are dwindling in numbers under the Red List or the Protected Species list; at the same time they proclaim that homosexuality, abortion, masturbation etc. are okay.

I cannot understand... people want to restore the environment to its natural state, but they live a lifestyle that is out-of-the-nature. When the Church took notice of their worldly lifestyle and pointed it out, they immediately put the blame on the Church.

"As we're sung to sleep by philosophies, that save the trees and kill the children..." Part of the lyrics for the song While You Were Sleeping by Casting Crowns, which has awaken me up from my sleep, making me realise how people contradict themselves.

Oh well, just a thought when I was upset.

There is a power so strong that it can become the driving force in our lives and in everything we do, if we allow it to. It is the power of God's love.

A smile to remember…

2008-04-11T21:24:00.006+08:00

Photo source:pimp myspace

Do you believe that if God can work through a person, He can also work via a simple smile? Well, I do. I just never imagined such an incident would ever happen to me.

It was the 6th Sunday of Easter. After Morning Mass, I joined my good friends for breakfast and only reached home around noon. Haha, it was the gathering of single young ladies, so there is no way for us to leave right away after finishing our food. Seeing me opening the door and stepping into the house, mom was not very happy.

“So… looks like you haven’t forgotten the place you call ‘home’.” Her sarcastic, cold tone of voice gave me the hint that she was upset with me. I cannot remember what conversation I had with her before I went up to my room, but I know that her being upset made me even more upset. I stayed in my room until my parents went off to attend the Evening Mass.

I went downstairs to collect my files so that I could continue with my work. It was about 4pm or so that time. I came back to my room, continued with my work, and out of the blue… someone unexpected popped up on my Skype – the priest whom I’ve always wanted to meet (he initiated the online international Rosary prayer through Skypecast). At first, I thought that perhaps he has got something for me to do, or some messages which he might want me to convey to my other Rosary companions. At first, we were having a short and simple chat; he told me that he was at the airport and would be boarding the plane in 2 hours.

Weird enough, he asked me to give him a call on Skype, which I did and I was thinking to myself: “Okay, so what is Father going to tell me this time?” The connection was successful. I strained my ears, trying my best to detect his voice. When I failed to hear anything, I quickly typed to him in the chat window: “Father, I can’t hear you!” He replied: “Can you see me?” I quickly switched to the voice chat window.

To my surprise, I saw a man smiling at me through the window for webcam. It was Father Dominique! I was in tears… tears of joy that I finally had the chance to meet Fr. Dominique, whom I’ve listened to in Skype Conference and prayed together with almost everyday. And yes, that smile! That captivating, soothing smile planted not just joy, but also peace in my heart and soul that very instance! I just could not explain nor describe that joy I experienced. It was like… a foretaste of meeting Jesus in person!

It wasn’t too long when he finally waved me goodbye.

His smile changed my heart and took my resentment away. He made the rest of my day just by a simple but genuine smile. And this smile let me recognized the Man whom I’ve always loved – Jesus.

At the time my parents came back from Mass, I went out of my room to greet them. I have totally forgotten the unhappy event that happened in the day time.

I guess maybe that’s why we are encouraged to smile. Smile, God loves you. A familiar saying we all know, but we never know that God is able to use our smile to touch and affirm those who needed it. Perhaps, the simplest fact that God loves us no matter who we are and how we feel, should become our reason to share our smile.

Smile, God loves you!

_____________

I've finished this post a year ago but never had the chance to post it up. So here it is! Hope it will inspire you as you read it today.

Homesick III - Beauty and the beholder

2007-11-22T23:26:00.000+08:00

Thank you, guys!
(Click to enlarge photo)

Ever since that particular period of time (falling in love, getting interested in guys, having crushes, etc.), I knew that I can never be pretty. I never liked make-ups, nor going after jewelry and fancy dresses. Worse still, I take after my father, which makes me look like a boy. When all my girl friends were into make-ups, I concentrated on my inner beauty. I knew this verse from teenage years:-

Don’t be concerned about the outward beauty of fancy hairstyles, expensive jewelry, or beautiful clothes. You should clothe yourselves instead with the beauty that comes from within, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is so precious to God. - 1 Peter 3:3-4 (TLB)

I hated the world and its definition of beauty. So no matter how others look at me or judge me, I couldn't be bothered at all. I knew that nothing is more important than to please my God. Over the years, I did have a crush or two but I successfully got over it. Well, I didn't quite like the feeling of it because when it happened, it took my sight away from God.

As I landed in Balhaf (Yemen), attention seemed to be on my colleague and I as there were no other women there. The two of us were being compared... one guy asked why my colleague, being a Caucasian, did not have the curves. Another guy who helped me with work even told me that I looked beautiful, compared to the lady who was there the last time.

Wow... I was flattered! I have never received any compliment of such before! When I was so totally down, upset, homesick, and feeling hopeless, a simple compliment "You are beautiful" touched my heart. From a compliment (which may sound lustful to some), it was transformed into a word of encouragement and affirmation. My heart sent the signal to my brain, "Look, you are beautiful in God's eyes! You complained that you have never heard Him saying it straight to you, now He did!"

I couldn't quite believe that guy when he said that, as I didn't know what his actual intention was. But whatever it was, if I, a nobody, can be beautiful in a stranger's eyes, then surely, it was God who made me beautiful and surely, I am beautiful in His eyes too. Besides being an affirmation for me, it also proved that God was there watching over me all the times, whether I was aware of it or not.

Yes, whether we are aware of it or not, whether we believe it or not, no matter how ugly we think we are, in God's eyes we are all His beautiful precious princes and princesses. If not, would He have sent His only Son to die for us?

When I was typing away to get this post completed, a friend of mine sent me a song with the title 'Beautiful'. I was really surprised... well, could it be such a coincident? So I decided to put the song here to share with everyone. Perhaps, you are in some kind of struggle to get attention from others, or you need a healing of your self-image. Whatever it is, please bear in mind -- when the whole world turn its back at you, God is always there for you; if someone says that you are ugly, don't forget that you are more precious than the Son in the eyes of the King.

"... You are precious in my sight and honoured, and I love you..." - Isaiah 43:4

God bless you!

Click the "Play" button to stream the song. For the lyrics, click here.

Links:
Homesick I - Out Of Fear
Homesick II - Home, Sweet, Home!

Homesick II - Home, Sweet, Home!

2007-10-14T13:34:00.000+08:00

Finally, I'm home. I'm just so glad to be home! Friends and family were curious about my trip to Yemen, but I'm not that eager nor excited about it.

Initially, this was the kind of conversation we had:

"How's Yemen?"
"Well, not too bad."
"How's the food?"
"Hmm... okay. We had Indian food 3 meals a day. I was so sick of it after a few days."

Then as more people came along, my answers became shorter and briefer:

"How's Yemen?"
"Sucks."
"Oh, what about the food?"
"Sucks too."
"What did you do there?"
"Duh, work of course. Can't you see my tan?"

My one and only concern was to attend Mass. Having to work on Sundays and missing Mass when I was in Balhaf (Yemen) was definitely not something I enjoyed doing. Staying together with a colleague who loves to curse using Christ's name was just another torture for me. I longed for the moment I was left alone in the cabin and when my colleague was in the shower, those were the good times for me to utter short prayers. Sometimes, I cried myself to sleep.

I simply missed my parents, my best friends in the Youth group, my good online Catholic friends and those kind Carmelite nuns -- all of those who have been praying for me while I was in the foreign land. I missed home, and I missed the company of God's people.

Till this point, you might most probably say that I'm a spoilt child. Well, maybe I am. I'm spoilt by both my parents... and Father God! All these while, the Lord placed me among His people and that was why I had no worries at all. No matter where I've been, I always find Him in those people I met. This time, it was different. I walked with fear and was concerned of my own well being, spiritually and physically. I did have the opportunity to meet two or three gentlemen, but one of them turned out to be a wolf in sheep's clothing. (I will write more on that in my future posts)

But I thank the Lord, for I experienced His presence. He was always there protecting me and keeping me from harm; in every occasion His presence was ever felt. I had a peaceful rest especially when we were on the way home; I had a two-seater (on board of the plane) all for myself and my heart told me that nobody took the seat beside me because it has been booked by the Lord. I even managed to watch Evan Almighty, had sound sleep and even woke up just in time for meals! Praise the Lord? Praise the Lord!

*Chuckled* I really don't know what else to say here besides being thankful to God that I'm home in one piece, and also thank Him for not forsaken me! Sharing with you the picture I took in Al Mukalla, the town we were in before the 3-hour drive to Balhaf.

*A sigh of relief* My heartfelt appreciation to all those who have prayed for me when I was away. Thank you, everyone! God bless...

**update**
Sharing with you the song that has been a prayer to me during my unhappy stay in Yemen. Hope it touches your heart, especially those far away from home, as it touched mine.

Links:
Homesick I - Out of fear...
Homesick III - Beauty and The Beholder

Homesick I - Out of fear...

2007-09-20T02:37:00.000+08:00

Lord I am afraid, it is insecurity I feel.
I can’t help but asking myself
is this Your Will?
Or is this just one of those desires
that never hoped to be fulfilled?

Is this really an opportunity I should grab?
Am I going to learn anything?
What kind of offer it will have
or impact on my life it will make?

Look at how much I’ve forgotten.
Am I still capable?
Will I come home alive
or sent home in the cascade?

Is it okay if I mingle around
with all the men there?
To search for a glimpse of Your Presence
in those unknown human hearts?
Or should I just give up everything which
I shouldn’t have revealed from the start?

I know, Lord, the choice is mine
to decide which path to hike.
But Lord, I don’t really mind,
as long as Your hands hold mine.

Decide for me, my Lord,
for Your choice is always right.
You know my heart, my greatest desire,
is to travel with You forever.
So dear Lord, please gently take control,
Come what may, it is You whom I follow.

I was amazed by my ability to produce this simple poem-prayer when I was drowning in fear. This is the poem I’ve came up with for the very first time in my 25 years of life.

My boss wanted me to follow a Caucasian colleague to Yemen 4 months ago, to assist her in handling one environmental project, which requires both of us to scuba dive. Duration, 3 weeks to a month. I remembered that my first reaction was sudden sadness. Escaped into the washroom, I couldn’t stop my tears from falling. Without me realizing, I started to pray… “Lord, how can I live without You for a month? My soul would wither and die without the Eucharist!”

None of my friends actually understood why I felt depressed and rather choose not to go for that trip. Having to move out of the comfort zone is not something easy to do. Leaving my good friends behind for 10 days seem to me like forever. Going without the Eucharist for 2 Sundays will simply be hell for me.

Will I be able to pull through alone? No church, no other Christians, no internet, no phone signals... gosh, how can I survive? I'm totally cut off from everyone!

Last week I received a phone call from my colleague and told me that I am required to go with her to Yemen, and this time, the trip is confirmed. Well, same tragedy happened - anxiety, fear and tears. I told my good friends and asked for continuous prayers. Yes, at this point, only prayers and prayers alone can work wonders.

Another one and a half hour and I shall be leaving to the airport. Guess this is the first time for me to fly out of the country at this hour. Today is my 4th day in Kuala Lumpur, and I've been so homesick. Of course, nothing is better than home! And all these while, I strongly believe that it was the prayers of my family and friends that have kept me alive and sane here. And I really thank the Lord for these wonderful people... I will be missing everyone...

I sincerely ask you all for prayers for me too. I shall be back home in two weeks time. Thank you all.

Links:
Homesick II - Home, Sweet, Home!
Homesick III - Beauty and The Beholder

Praying together, staying together

2007-09-09T16:00:00.000+08:00

A family that prays together, stays together. A phrase that is well known to most Catholics.

I am certainly not the right person to talk about how a family that prays together can stay together, as my family doesn't have the habit of praying together. However, I would like to share on what I have experienced when a group of people come together to pray.

I have a group of Catholic friends online whom I met through Skype. Every night at 8pm (Malaysian/Manila/Perth time) when I am around, we always pray the Rosary together, with or without the presence of a priest (a priest in Italy initiated the online Rosary prayer group). I joined the group one year ago, and a few of us who have constantly showed up almost every night have become close friends. After each Rosary session, we usually spend time together to share, or sometimes we have leisure talks - about our countries, our jobs, our families, social issues and even our Faith; sometimes, non-Catholics would question us on our Faith and Teachings of the Church and when that happens, all of us would stand up to defend our belief. I really thank the Lord for meeting us together, even though we have not met each other in person (some of us have webcam, though) we are all united in prayer.

Now, after I've been confirmed by my employee as the company's permanent staff, travelling became more often. I would be away not for a day or two, but the whole week. When I'm outstation, there is problem for me getting online as connection is not always available. It is during these times that I miss my online friends the most. I miss praying together with them.

That is what I found to be not right. Supposedly, I should miss my family members when I'm away, but that is not the case. Those people whom I think of the most are those who prayed together with me.

From this, a conclusion can be drawn -- whenever people gather to pray, God will be there in their midst and His very presence caused everyone to be spiritually bonded to each other through the love for God and His love for them. In other words, people are united through and in prayers. Another instance, if I've got a choice I'd choose to attend Mass in the parish church I always go to over the past 12 years, even though I don't know all the parishioners there. In the same way, even though I've never met my online friends in person, I got attached to them because of prayer. And so is family that prays together.

Indeed, a family that prays together, stays together.

Be sure to teach the families to pray all together - father, mother and children. For the family that prays together stays together, and if they stay together they will love one another as Jesus loves each one of them... - Mother Teresa of Calcutta

My parents were not frequent Mass goers when I was much younger until I was baptized and confirmed. Therefore, praying together has never happened then. We did manage to pray together once in a while many years ago, but it didn't last too long before it finally stopped. To get my brother to pray with us has always been a difficult task since then. To make matter worse, after that particular unpleasant event that had befallen my dad in our parish, my parents tried to avoid going back there and they became 'travelling' Catholics who go to different parishes every week. It's even more difficult for me to get everyone together to pray now.

Dearest parents out there, I sincerely ask you to please teach your children how to pray at a very young age and make family prayer a habit. Introducing our loving Heavenly Father to the children is the best insurance policy in the whole wide world which you can buy for them.

As for me and my family, I also ask for your kind prayers, that my family would come together once again to pray and may we be united in prayers. Thank you!

Links:
Prayer for the Family

Photo courtesy of Inspire Me Inc.

Our Lady's Message from Medjugorje

2007-08-26T17:43:00.000+08:00

The Message of 25th August, 2007:

"Dear children! Also today I call you to conversion. May your life, little children, be a reflection of God's goodness and not of hatred and unfaithfulness. Pray, little children, that prayer may become life for you. In this way, in your life you will discover the peace and joy which God gives to those who have an open heart to His love. And you who are far from God's mercy, convert so that God may not become deaf to your prayers and that it may not be too late for you. Therefore, in this time of grace, convert and put God in the first place in your life. Thank you for having responded to my call."

Source: Children of Medjugorge

Encountering Spiritual Dryness

2007-08-26T11:05:00.000+08:00

I'm finally able to pick up blogging again after a period of spiritual dryness. Thank you, Lord!

For the past a month or two, that dry feeling has caused me to stop taking part in the Youth Ministry and any activities to do with church. My job wasn't that enjoyable anymore... I saw more hardships and overcoming them became my priority. God was still there, I knew He was, but He kept quiet... so quiet that I couldn't get connected to Him.

So many times when I prayed, I told the Lord: "Father, please say something. I miss you."

Complete silence.

That was why I decided to stop blogging temporarily. When there is no divine inspiration, I have totally no idea of what to write. I started to do lots of reading on the teachings of the Church and looked up for the explanations and/or criticisms by the Protestant Christians I met online as well as a colleague of mine. I had a hard time explaining to them the Truth that has been revealed to the Catholic Church through the power of the Holy Spirit and the Bible. Well, apparently, I'm not a spontaneous person when it comes to explaining the Faith.

The more I heard about these criticisms, the more I saw the beauty and richness of the Traditions and Teachings of the Catholic Church. And the more I read the various articles ranging from Our Lady to the End of the World, I realized how very much God loves the world -- besides sending His one and only begotten Son to die for us (which is the clearest proof of His tremendous love and mercy), He still continuously reaches down to the World through the Sacraments, the saints, the various devotional prayers and novenas, and last but not least, Our Blessed Lady.

I wonder... how many Catholics out there who are actually aware that, all these are God's continuous effort to draw His children back and closer to Himself? There were so many whom I've met, both young and old, who doubted the validity of the Church's teachings, and even said that they are not needed. How sad.

Right now, I'm still slowly 'recovering'. Blogging might still be a bit slow, but I hope I'll pick up the original pace soon. During these 'dormant' period, a few topics that I've decided to brush off before kept coming back to me -- family praying together, the importance of child upbringing the catholic way, the teaching on purgatory and on God's forgiveness (the local youths had a wrong idea on these), and on the Judgement Day / the End of the World / Christ's Second Coming.

If you happen to drop by this page and read this post, please say a simple prayer for me. I thank you for your generosity and you will be in my prayers too. I also want to thank those who keep coming back to this blog for updates. Thanks all...

Changes in progress

2007-08-09T23:36:00.000+08:00

If you've noticed, I'm trying to do some up-keeping of my blog. I'm still searching for the right template so do give me some times to get everything up...

I haven't been updating my blog for a while, due to my busy schedule. I've just fallen sick lately too, so I very much appreciate your prayers.

Thanks for keep coming back for more thoughts of mine!

God bless!

Women Ordination

2007-07-22T13:53:00.000+08:00

A fellow member in VaticanFriends*, Mathias, wrote this wonderful and simple article on the ordination of women. I recommend those who have difficulty understanding this topic to have a read. Two thumbs up, Mathias! And thank you for allowing me to share this with others.

Jesus has appointed 12 jewish men as apostles. These men represent symbolically the 12 tribes of Israel - the "new covenant in the blood of Christ" is therefore not a contradiction to the old covenant but its completion and perfection. When Saint Paul writes to the Romans that "grace and vocation that are granted by God are irrevocable", this implies a "character indelebilis": also in apostasy a baptised remains baptised, a confirmed remains confirmed, and a priest remains priest - in the same way a jew remains a jew and has therefore the continuous calling to lead the heathens to God (that is to say to their king Christ).

This calling is not stopped when jews do not acknowledge Christ as their messiah - every jew will always be called to acclaim Christ as their king in order to be able to live their vocation.

As a consequence, there is a constancy between Israel and the Church (the people of God from Israel and the peoples) in the sense that the church is the completion and perfection of Israel (with the specialty that Israel is the heart of the church, the priestly people which has put forth the Messiah, while the heathens collect around this heart (pilgrimate to Zion).

Since Israel as ecclesial structure has declined the Messiah, we are confronted to a dilemma because God has promised us this way of salvation to Abraham, and because God who is the ever faithful one will without doubt keep this vow.

Because I am deviating a bit from the topic at this point, I will summarize a bit: Israel became realised in Mary, the daughter of Zion (a real symbol). At this point I would have to show the representation of Israel as woman in the old testament and the promise to Abraham, Isaac and Jacob/Israel, as well as the description of the Church/Mary in the apocalypse of John as being crowned with 12 stars in order to demonstrate the realisation and perfection of Israel in the Church. But at this point is shall be enough to simply postulate this here.

The 12 Apostles represent the 12 tribes of Israel (the 12 stars of the Madonna in the apocalypse). This close constancy in the sense of perfection and completion is in contrast to the protestant view of the creation of something radically new (in the sense of an anti-principle, compare the principle of justice by deed at the jews in contrast to the principle of justice by faith of Luther). Given this close constancy of old and new covenant, the answer to the question why Jesus has appointed MEN is: because the priesthood of Israel was a single-sex male priesthood.

The next question which we pose now is: "Why did Israel have a single-sex male priesthood"? The answer to this question appears to be obvious: "because Israel was a chauvinistic, patriachial society that was oppressing women!". The next question that follows is: "What kind of societies were the surrounding peoples (the Assyrians, the Egypts, the Kanaans etc.)?". You will get 100 points for the answer "chauvinistic, patriarchal societies that were oppressing women".

But why on earth did these other peoples have a FEMALE priesthood? This is evident: the religious life would not have been possible without these priests. As a consequence the prize question is: what was the difference between Israel and the heathens that both "women oppressing monsters" had such a different understanding of pristly office?

At this point one must add, that the heathens had a polytheistic heaven full of different gods that included gods with a lived sexuality while the Israelites had a asexual monotheism. At the heathen peoples, the consequence of the sexualised heaven was a sexualisation of the religious cult and of liturgy, which is always accused heavily in the Old Testament as one of the greatest evils of the surrounding peoples (next to human sacrifices) and which is therefore rejected.

To put it in a nutshell, one can say that Israel had a single-sex priesthood because their image of God was an asexual one and because the cult was always free of sexuality - which demands as last consequence naturally also celibacy. Celibacy was already founded in the Old Testament in the form of cultic pureness: the priest in charge was not allowed to sleep with his wife in the same bed during the times he was enacting his priestly functions. This foundation was only in fragments and did not yet arrive at a state of completeness, just the same as the law of Israel without Christ did not yet arrive at a state of completeness.

Israel was always aware (and this was vital in order to differentiate itself from the surrounding heathen peoples) that one cannot change the cult (which is the rite) without changing at the same time also the image one has of God and His relation to the people. As a consequence, one may not change anything substantial and anything having identifying character in the rite. It is not a coincidence that - at that time - Cardinal Ratzinger saw a direct link between the reform of liturty (the turning around of the altar) and the call for women ordination which was based in a shifted focus on human beings (anthroposcentration).

One would have to add in this context also the role of the church as emancipator of the woman and as the one who laid the basis for the idea of sexual equality (for instance, in its laws on marriage the church was the first institution to have the same law for men and women). Also, one would have to work out here that neither the church nor Israel had a fundamental problem with having women leadership: Israel had a Queen and the irish double-monasteries were under the rule of an abbess which kept her own auxiliary bishops for consecrations. But this would go beyond the topic of this essay and it would take more time than I've been allotted to here. But it is important here to see that the fundamental reservation of consecrations for men is not primarily based on the patriarchal structure of the time (which is true for the under-representation of women in offices that have no theological reservation), but that this is due to a theological differentiation from idolatry.

Other interesting links:

Literature to the constance between Israel and the Church:
Dieter Böhler SJ, Maria die Tochter Zion – die Bedeutung der Mutter Jesu in der Hl. Schrift, GuL 78/6 (2005) 401-412.
Joseph Ratzinger, Die Tochter Zion. Betrachtungen über den Marienglauben der Kirche. Einsiedeln 1977.
Werner Löser SJ, Maria, der Tochter Zion, in: A. Raffelt (Hg.), Weg und Weite (FS K. Lehmann). Freiburg-Basel-Wien 2001, 535-547.
Joseph Cardinal Ratzinger/Hans Urs von Balthasar, Maria Kirche im Ursprung, Johannes Verlag Einsiedeln, Freiburg, 2005.
Hans Urs von Balthasar, Maria für heute, Johannes Verlag Einsiedeln, Freiburg 1997.

Literature to the constancy related to priesthood and sacrifice in the old and new covenant:
Dieter Böhler SJ, El sacrificio de Israel, el sacrificio de Cristo y el sacrificio de la Iglesia, Diálogos universitarios 3, León (México) 2004.

Footnotes:
[1] Compare. Mt 5,17: “denkt nicht ich bin gekommen, um das Gesetz und die Propheten aufzuheben. Ich bin nicht gekommen um aufzuheben, sondern um zu erfuellen”.

[2] Röm 11,29.

[3] Compare Denzinger 1609.

[4] Mi 4,1-3.

[5] Compare Dieter Böhler SJ, Maria die Tochter Zion – Die Bedeutung der Mutter Jesu nach der Hl. Schrift.
I have listened to his speeches and base my arguments also on private conversations with this author.

[6] Dtn 23,18f.

[7] Among others Lev 20,1-5.

[8] Compare Denzinger 185.

[9] This source will be handed in later on.

~ By: Mathias, Germany

*VaticanFriends.com is a global Catholic internet community. It provides free chat, messaging, profiles, forum, galleries. It is a network for Catholics loyal to the Pope and to all teachings as defined in the Catechism of the Catholic Church.

Contact:

Dr. Philipp Wilhelm
Rigistr. 7, 6410 Goldau, Suisse
Email: Philipp.Wilhelm[at]VaticanFriends.com

World Youth Day 2008 Theme Song

2007-07-15T23:29:00.000+08:00

For those who are very much interested in World Youth Day 2008, which will be held in Sydney, Australia, here are some little updates.

The theme song for WYD 2008 has been produced. You can see the video clip below, or/and download it here for both English and international version. For my Malaysian friends, guess what, this song "Receive the Power" is written by Gary Pinto together with Guy Sebastian!

Also, click here to read the Message of the Holy Father for the preparation of World Youth Day 2008. If you are going to this wonderful event, it is a must read!

I hope to see you, my readers and my blogging friends in Sydney for World Youth Day. Let me know if you're confirmed going, probably we can arrange for some kind of meet up. What say you?

God bless!

Help Needed!

2007-07-03T23:55:00.000+08:00

*UPDATED*

I shall keep this at the top of my other posts until August or after we've received enough information of how to go about this. Please scroll down to read new posts. Thank you!

Calling the attention of contemporary christian music lovers, choirmasters / choirmistress, choir members, and anybody who simply sings or performs for the church! (You still can read this post even if you're not those mentioned above! *chuckled*)

We the Youth Ministry of Blessed Sacrament Parish of the Kuching Archdiocese need a little help to obtain approval and permission of copyright for the reproduction of some contemporary christian praise and worship songs (listed below).

To keep the long story short, here are some details of the purpose for reproducing the songs:

For what? Fund-raising.

What are we going to use the money for? To build extra classrooms as there have been limited spaces to accommodate the children who come to Blessed Sacrament Parish for Catechism class.

What exactly are we going to do? The youths will produce a recording of a compilation of songs (listed below), the album / CD will be sold locally and the money of the sales will go to the building of classes.

Okay. Then what kind of help do we need? We've been trying to contact the producers and the recording/publishing companies but are in vain. We did send emails to some of the companies, but they either never replied us or asked us to contact another office without giving us the person-in-charge, the email and business addresses and the phone numbers. So if anyone of you know who exactly we can get hold of for this matter, please kindly let us know, and don't forget to leave us their Names, E-mail address, contact numbers, and/or Mailing addresses.

Listed here are the songs we will be reproducing (the links will bring you to the lyrics/streaming):

You Are My King (Amazing Love)
Words & Music by Billy James Foote; Administered by EMI Christian Music Publishing
Be Still My Soul
Words & Music by Kim Noblitt, Integrity's Hosanna Music
The Chaplet of Divine Mercy in Song
I Could Sing of Your Love Forever
Music & Words by Martin Smith; Administered by EMI Christian Music Group
When I Look Into Your Holiness
Words & Music by Wayne &amp;amp;amp;amp;amp; Cathy Perrin; Administered by Integrity Music
Only By Grace
Integrity's Hosanna Music
Power of Your Love
Words & Music by Geoff Bullock; Administered by Maranatha Music
Still
Words & Music by Reuben Morgan
Think About His Love
Words & Music by Walt Harrah; Administered by Integrity Music
We Remember
Kau Yang Terindah
(Produced in Indonesia)

Please if you do know something, someone who knows how to go about this and has actually done this before (applying for copyright permission), kindly let me and my friend, Stella know. I thank you all from the bottom of my heart for any kind of help you would render.

Invitation for Malaysian Catholics!

2007-07-03T23:09:00.003+08:00

... and of course, for all non-Catholics who are interested, you are also welcome!

I received this invitation from the Seremban Carmelite Sisters in my mailbox. Unfortunately, I won't be able to be present as I live very very far away from Seremban.

If you're living or staying somewhere in or near Seremban, do pay them a visit and join the Carmelite Sisters in the Eucharistic celebration for the Feast of Our Lady of Mount Carmel.

The time and venue are shown in the invitation card above.

I will be joining the Carmelite Sisters in Kuching for the Feast. Anybody from Kuching, feel free to keep in touch with me if you're interested to know more.

God bless you all for your kind support.

Our Lady's Message from Medjugorje

2007-07-01T16:30:00.000+08:00

The Message of June 25, 2007 (The 26th Anniversary of the Apparitions!)

"Dear children! Also today, with great joy in my heart, I call you to conversion. Little children, do not forget that you are all important in this great plan, which God leads through Medjugorje. God desires to convert the entire world and to call it to salvation and to the way towards Himself, who is the beginning and the end of every being. In a special way, little children, from the depth of my heart, I call you all to open yourselves to this great grace that God gives you through my presence here. I desire to thank each of you for the sacrifices and prayers. I am with you and I bless you all. Thank you for having responded to my call."

Source: Children of Medjugorje

My thoughts:
This particular message of Our Lady seems to correspond with the request for prayers for the conversion of Germany. I was confused initially. Why Fatima, Medjugorje, and now Marpingen? What differences are there between the 3 places? Fr. Dominique explained that the common message of this 3 places of apparitions is a call to conversion of hearts and repentance. That is why we should all pray with one accord for the triumph of the Immaculate Heart.

All for the Triumph of The Immaculate Heart of Mary...

2007-07-01T01:33:00.000+08:00

... and Glory to God in the Highest Heaven!!

As mentioned in the previous post, I will be telling you a little bit about Marpingen, Germany, the place where Our Lady appeared.

I have to admit that I've never heard of this place of apparitions before, as I'm more familiar with Fatima and Medjugorje, until I met a priest online and I spoke to him and even saw him on webcam in Skype. To make the long story short, he asked us to help him spread this message/letter of his, which is a request for prayer. Here's what he has to say:

><><>< ><><><
Apostolat Im dienst der Göttl. Barmherzigkeit

Nalbacher str.135
D- 66763 Dillingen Saarland - Tel+Fax: +49683178207

I am Father Dominique and I collaborate with The Movement Apostolate of the Divine Mercy in Saarland, Germany.

I would like to inform you that on the 16th of August 2007, a great day of prayers will take place in Marpingen*, Germany for the triumph of the Immaculate Heart of Mary in this nation and in the whole world. This intention and subsequent triumph is in light of Our Lady of Fatima, who said, "...at the end, my Immaculate heart will triumph!" Pope Benedict XVI said this prophecy is the great message of Hope, given at Fatima**.

I would like you to spread this message to your local Catholic communities or associations, etc. so that more people around the world will pray for this intention on this special day.

The triumph of the Immaculate Heart of Mary has already been conceived, but it must grow and the key to open the door of this triumph, will consist of being united in prayer around the world, especially praying the Holy Rosary meditated with love in our hearts, and offering Communions of reparation.

It is very important because as you may know many countries of Europe and the world have become very far from God, over the years they have liberalised many immoral issues, e.g., abortion, gay marriages, euthanasia, atheism etc, which are directed against the Law of God, and they are in the process of spreading them throughout the world.

"...my Immaculate Heart will triumph”. What does this mean? The Heart open to God, purified by contemplation of God, is stronger than guns and weapons of every kind. The fiat of Mary, the word of her heart, has changed the history of the world..."***

This International day of prayer will give the power to Our Lady to make a turn towards the good and allow Our Lady (star of the new evangelisation) to continue the process of the triumph of her Immaculate Heart in this nation and the whole world. I inform you also that many people around Germany already offer the 13th of every month for this intention. This is done by offering their work, sufferings, and joys of this day, with all the prayers for this purpose. On that very day we also make a special Rosary for this intention. On that occasion we recommend that you invite many people to your homes. The lists of people involved in this initiative are put at the feet of the Altar of Our Lady during the monthly celebration of the Holy Mass.

God bless you, and I thank in anticipation all those who will join this initiative of prayer. In this way we will become missionaries for the native country of our Holy Father Pope Benedict XVI, and help him save this nation so much loved by him.

May the United Hearts of Jesus and Mary protect and bless you all, now and forever!

Father Dominique
Apostolate of the Divine Mercy

(You can also write me at the above address)

*Marpingen has been recognized as an official place of prayer by the Church of Germany in December 2005. …some traditionally Christian areas which are in need of re-evangelization…Redemptoris Missio 32. …Among the forms of sharing, first place goes to spiritual cooperation through prayer, sacrifice… idem 78 The association of the Divine Mercy in Saarland together with me has received a written authorisation from the local Bishop (a letter addressed in my name) to organize the monthly day of prayer in Marpingen.
**Commentary of the Pope on the book of Cardinal Bertone on the memories of Sister Lucia of Fatima.
***Congregation for the doctrine of Faith: "the message of Fatima" (last part of the document.)

><><>< ><><><

If you've got any queries or is interested, feel free to write to Fr. Dominique at the address above. Or you may also write to me, and I will forward it to Father. I can be reached at aud_shark [at] hotmail [dot] com. Or you can leave a message for me in the combox and Chatbox on the Sidebar.

I thank you on Fr. Dominique's behalf for reading this and praying for the Lord's intentions.

Here are some websites on Marpingen which you can read up on:

1. Fr. Gerhard Writes: Marpingen.
2. Marpingen: Our Lady's Messages.
3. Marpingen (in German).

Note: The apparitions in Marpingen has not been approved by Vatican.

*UPDATED*
A copy of Letter and recommended prayers (in 3 languages: English, Spanish and Portuguese) are available here. Click here to select and download.

Beauty of the Creator

2007-06-30T16:26:00.001+08:00

... a glimpse of His Glory.

I believe most people must have seen this natural phenomenon, the 22 degree sun halo, which is quite common in the temperate regions. But over here in Malaysia, one can only witness such a beautiful halo formation if that person is lucky enough. I had never seen this phenomenon with my own eyes till this day, but I've read it in the newspapers before and if I'm not mistaken, this is the 2nd time the halo appeared in Kuching.

My colleagues and I had the opportunity to see this great sight and capture a lot of photos on the 22 June 07. The whole office was actually in a chaos... thank God our boss wasn't around then, else he must be furious if he saw us leaving our work just to watch the halo!

A Fengshui master commented in the newspapers the next day, that this halo was a bad omen of more bad weather and a bad economy in Kuching. Oh well, that's what people who believe in Fengshui and those who always look for bad signs would say.

For me, it meant something else. Something like an assurance. Hey, how could a beautiful, unusual natural happenings like this be bad? I stopped my work like everybody else, and stared into the blue sky to watch the halo. It was just... amazing! Suddenly I felt a surge of tremendous fear of the Lord... I saw a tiny glimpse of His Glory!

I saw and felt the Glory of the Great Creator in His beautiful Creation!

I was supposed to give a short sharing on the apparitions of Our Lady in Marpingen*, Germany to a few of my Catholic colleagues 1 hour from the sighting of the sun halo. You know, I never liked sharing or even chairing a meeting; talking in front of so many people really freaks me out! And so I was actually getting very nervous until I saw the beautiful sun halo. It was just like an assurance from the Lord and Our Lady... that they would be with me as I talk about the apparitions.

I was nervous still. Plus fear. But much assured that I would be doing all right. A wonderful experience, indeed.

Have you ever tried to imagine how God's glory looks like? I only know that His Glory is way too much for our human eyes to behold. Perhaps, that sun halo (and many other natural phenomena, rainbows, the bright sun being partially covered by the clouds creating rays of lights from the clouds, etc.) is a reflection of His wonderful Glory.

Photo source: Edwin Lay

*Please refer my next post for more information on Our Lady's Apparitions in Marpingen, or you can visit the website.

Priests - We Need Them

2007-06-17T13:08:00.000+08:00

Whether we realise it or not, priests play an important role in our lives as Catholics. Theirs is a ministry of total service to God's people, as they follow the footsteps of Christ, the great High Priest.

"The priesthood is an irreplaceable treasure in the Church. This is so, not because of administrative, culture or educational needs, but because it is essentially united to the sacramental ministry of Christ, the High Priest. The ordained Priest, acts in persona Christi capitis, that is: in the person of Christ who is the Head, when he celebrates the Eucharist and the other Sacraments of salvation. [...] So also the responsibility of teaching the gospel, guiding the faithful and counseling the distressed."

- Adapted from the speech of Bishop Nicola de Angelis at the Chrism Mass

Fr. Marcial Maciel summarized the importance of priests in our world today.

Most of us who have priests as our friends, worked with them before, or even those who only had opportunities speaking to them or having encountered them in one way or another, would agree that priests are influential not just in our spiritual lives, but in every aspect of our lives.

Many friends have shared with me how priests have touched their hearts; how their (priests) encouragements, prayers and even their little gestures of love have helped them increase their faith and kept them going in the midst of great hardships.

"Pope John Paul II is always my hero, and he's here in my heart forever." - A youth of my parish told me. Amazing how John Paul II could touch the hearts of young people (like me!) without having to meet us personally! I personally have met a lot of interesting priests and each of them is so different, but they are all so loving and caring! Some of them are even good looking! (Oh gosh, Lord have mercy!! But they look good because Christ shines through them!!) And I thank the Lord for working through these wonderful priests to make a difference in people's lives.

If priests have 'power' to build, so can they misuse their authority (given to them by Christ during Ordination) to destroy. And to be honest, I have also met this kind of priests.

"You are a stumbling block in this parish!"
How do you feel if a priest would point a finger at you with these words?

"They left this parish on their own free will. It has nothing to do with me or others!"
If a major misunderstanding broke out in your parish, and people (who have been faithfully serving the parish for years) started leaving one by one but the parish priest didn't even care to settle it in a way it ought to be settled, rather he made this statement and caused more faithful getting hurt... what would you do?

It hurts me when I heard these from a priest! And it hurts me double when he broke the heart of God's people!!

"I'm not going to step into this parish again. Yes, I know I'm serving the Lord but why do I have to put up with those who purely want to condemn? I can no longer grow spiritually here!"

"I don't know if I should ever trust him again, after so many things that happened here."

"He drove me out, so why should I go back?"

Imagine these happenings being witnessed/encountered by a Catholic who is still not mature enough to deal with matters like this. He/She might end up leaving the Church or becoming Protestant or worse still, turning away from God. The bottom line is, priests need a lot of prayers and support from us. I love all the priests I’ve met, no matter what personality each of them has. I have a special respect and love for them; it is the kind of love and respect that I don’t understand and I don’t know how to explain. In them, I saw and experienced a glimpse of His presence – something which I’m constantly searching for.

The following are taken from Our Lord’s revelations to Mutter Vogel (pg. 29, Mutter Vogel’s Worldwide Love, St. Grignion Publishing House, Altoting, South Germany):

"One should NEVER attack a priest, even when he's in error, rather one should pray and do penance that I'll grant him My grace again. He alone fully represents Me, even when he doesn't live after My example!" (29.6.1929)

"Oh pray much for My priests, that they'll love purity above all, that they'll celebrate the Holy Sacrifice of Mass with pure hands and hearts. Certainly the Holy Sacrifice is one and the same even when it’s celebrated by an unworthy priest, but the graces called down upon the people is not the same!" (28.2.1938)

I urge you, friends, to constantly remember your priests in your daily prayers.

For further reading, I recommend these:

Pope Reminds Faithful to Pray for Priests

The Value of Prayer and Sacrifice for Priests

Praying for Priests

A Prayer for Priests

<>< <><>
This post is meant to be posted for World Day of Prayer for Priests.
Please pardon me for the imperfect use of English as it is my 2nd language. Thank you.

Celebrating a Father's love...

2007-06-17T12:57:00.000+08:00

To my greatest Abba, Heavenly Father God -- You're the ultimate Father of all mankind, and You've shown Yourself the most loving Person I've ever known in my whole life, and I thank You for so many graces and blessings and guidance which You've shown me. I love You, Father!

To my Dad who have brought me up in the best way he could -- thank you so much, Daddy, for teaching me all the life's most precious lessons; and for so patiently bearing with me despite my disobedience and rebelliousness. I will remember you in my prayers today, and everyday, that the good Lord will bless you abundantly for all you've done for me, my brother and this family. I love you, Daddy!

And to all the fathers in the world, Happy Fathers' Day!

Feast of the Sacred Heart

2007-06-08T12:43:00.000+08:00

Most Sacred Heart of Jesus, have mercy on us!

The Feast of the Sacred Heart of Jesus falls on 15th June this year. Read what it is all about here.

The 9 days Novena to the Sacred Heart has started on 6th June. Besides these devotions and this prayer, I have also found a day-to-day novena prayer here. The month of June is dedicated to the Sacred Heart of Jesus, so I recommend daily devotion to the Sacred Heart of Jesus.

Also not forgetting that on the same day, 15th June, is the World Day of Prayer for Priests. Please pray for our priests! They need God's blessings, guidance, strength and grace to go through difficult moments as they serve God's people.

*Updated*

Some of the prayers I mentioned above are said for special intentions. So I searched up the Internet and found this one, a prayer of preparation for the Feast of Sacred Heart:

O most holy Heart of Jesus, fountain of every blessing, I adore Thee, I love Thee and with a lively sorrow for my sins, I offer Thee this poor heart of mine. Make me humble, patient, pure and wholly obedient to Thy will. Grant, good Jesus, that I may live in Thee and for Thee. Protect me in the midst of danger; comfort me in my afflictions; give me health of body, assistance in my temporal needs, Thy blessing on all that I do, and the grace of a holy death. Within Thy Heart I place my every care. In every need let me come to Thee with humble trust saying, Heart of Jesus help me.

Source

"Let us remember that the Heart of Jesus has called us not only for our own sanctification, but also for that of other souls. He wants to be helped in the salvation of souls." - St. Padre Pio

Message of Our Lady from Medjugorje

2007-06-02T01:34:00.000+08:00

Message of May 25, 2007:

"Dear children! Pray with me to the Holy Spirit for Him to lead you in the search of God's will on the way of your holiness. And you, who are far from prayer, convert and, in the silence of your heart, seek salvation for your soul and nurture it with prayer. I bless you all individually with my motherly blessing. Thank you for having responded to my call."

Source: Children of Medjugorje

Perfection

2007-05-07T00:02:00.000+08:00

Via Fr. Stephanos

You Are 71% Perfectionist

You are a true perfectionist. You are both demanding of yourself and others.
While it's great to have goals and standards, they don't need to be sky high!

Are You a Perfectionist?

As I grow over the years from a teen to a young adult, I gradually realized that I am a perfectionist, in almost every part of my daily life as well as being a Catholic. My being a perfectionist has become more obvious as I joined the working world.

The best example of me, is that I don't mind staying in the office a little longer after office hours, even though I am not entitled to overtime claim. There were times when I even went back to the office on Saturdays just to make sure that the report I've just finished the day before was error-free. Most of the times I prefer to do some of the clerical work (sending faxes, typing letters to clients, photocopying documents, printing reports etc. which are supposed to be the job of clerical staffs) myself for fear of any mistakes or imperfections.

And so it is with my normal daily lives. Take for instance, the toilet paper. For me, I will always make sure that toilet papers are hanged over the front and not facing the wall. Even when I saw that it was hanged the 'wrong' way, I would take it out and hang it the other way instead. Sometimes, my mom would help me fold my clothes especially during the time I was too busy with work and Youth, and somehow I ended up refolding them because I wasn't satisfied with my mom's way of folding the clothes.

In terms of the practice of my faith, I am very particular at how simple prayers (e.g. Our Father, Hail Mary, Glory Be) are said. I know of A LOT of local faithful who said the prayers SO fast that they can finish one Our Father with one single breath. Therefore, sometimes I prefer to pray alone so that I could concentrate on each word that I've said.

"I hate myself for being such a perfectionist, maybe that's why God punishes me by sending me lots of problems." A friend told me one day. Well, how could this ever be possible? God will not punish someone who is trying to be perfect. Why would He, when He actually delights in those who tried? St. Matthew has the proof: "You must be perfect, just as your Father in heaven is perfect." (Matt. 5:48)

Being perfect is the duty of every Christian. However, perfection should not be to the extreme when other people who work with us face the danger of being hurt because they cannot meet our high expectations. We as Christians should look up to God as our standards. We don't need sky-high goals or standards; all we need is to include God in whatever we are doing.

We are supposed to involve God in our everyday living. Sadly, most people see it the other way round - God is only for the Church and to be kept out-of-sight in my life when there is nothing to do with religion. Probably, that is why our strive for perfection is always seem to be wrong. "In fact it is a fault," said John Clark.

The word PERFECTION spells P-a-r-a-l-y-s-i-s. - Sir Winston Leonard Churchill

I strongly believe that Sir Winston Churchill is right UNLESS we depend on our own human strength. All of us are weak without God and therefore, we need God's grace as we travel down the road of our lives, and how much more do we need Him when it comes to perfection.

I am a perfectionist myself, and so many times I collapsed because I wasn’t satisfied with my work, my ability and my knowledge; at these times self-pity took over me… fear crept in, I was drowned by my own thoughts of how good-for-nothing I have been, and consequently, I was overcome by depression. Besides hurting myself mentally and physically, I also hurt my parents and my closest friends as I lavished my anger and resentment on them. Since being perfect is so difficult and in the process of it we might also put others down, then why did Jesus call us to be perfect in the first place?

I’ve been giving this question a thought for the past few weeks. If perfection is a duty, then how can we practice perfection and at the same time not hurting our loved ones, fellow workers and other brothers in sisters in Christ who work together with us?

Do it out of love. What drive(s) you to working so hard? Money? Self-gratification? Or to bring Him glory? We should put down our love for money, fame and our pride, and put on God’s love. Our priority should be love – that people may have a better life; that the environment is protected despite the on-going development; that the sick may be cured and sufferings lessened; that our family can enjoy a more comfortable life – if love is the driving force of our lives, at the end of everyday we will feel satisfied because our every effort is pleasing in His eyes.

God’s grace. Without God, nothing is possible. We should never forget that our jobs are given to us by Him. That is why it is important to pray first before we start our chores and anything we are going to do, to ask for His presence, His grace and His assistance as we carry them out.

Give your best. We know that we are all imperfect people, and so no matter how much time or effort we might have spent on a project or on something, it might not turn out to be as perfect as we wanted it to be. Therefore the best thing is to give our very best to do what is possible for us and then leave the impossible to God. There is also no need to put a high expectation on the people who work with/under us. Why not put our expectations in God? He is perfect and only He can perfect our imperfect work, and only He and He alone can meet our expectations.

Let go, let God. After we’ve given our best and when there is nothing else we can do anymore, it is time to let go – let go of the worries we’ve been having and put everything in God’s mighty hands. We just have to sit back and see what this wonderful yet humorous God of ours can do.

Thanksgiving. No matter what the outcome would be, whether it is up to our expectation or not, we owe our thanks and praises to the Lord. No one knows or understands the purpose He has for us or how He would want to manifest Himself in what we do, so we should be ever thankful even if the outcome disappoints us – to thank Him for the opportunity given, lesson learned, experience gained and His love we encountered.

Yes, it’s easier said than done. Life in itself is never easy, worse still when we are called by Christ to live a life of faith. May we give our best to be perfectly perfect as we put God as our example of perfection. Father, may You walk with us, guide and bless us as we are on our way to be as perfect as You. Amen.

References:
Perfectionist-Workaholic-Crisis Seeker
The Gospel Truth - Christian Perfection

Message of Our Lady from Medjugorje

2007-04-25T01:35:00.000+08:00

Message of April 25, 2007:

"Dear children! Also today I again call you to conversion. Open your hearts. This is a time of grace while I am with you, make good use of it. Say: "this is the time for my soul". I am with you and love you with immeasurable love. Thank you for having responded to my call."

Source: Children of Medjugorje

In loving memory...

2007-04-03T22:19:00.000+08:00

...he has always been right here -- in my heart. We miss you, Holy Father! We always will.

Watch a slide show honouring Pope John Paul II here. Read more here.

Via Fr. Stephanos.

Cut the cord for the Lord!

2007-04-01T23:46:00.000+08:00

Lord, I have not reached this stage, have I?

Time for these spiritual oases can be found by figuratively cutting the electric cord of the television and the wireless signal of the Internet to make way for reflection, prayer and medidation.

Somehow, I've spent really too much time on the Internet. Once I get my fingers on the keyboard, it would be rather difficult for me to stop. Thus causing me to lose my prayer time. Before, when I was still without broadband internet, I used to spend less time online and more time reading books on faith-related issues and the Bible. Now, I need to cut down on my prayer time because most of my time is spent in front of the computer.

I might not have any post at all this week, or I will just try to cut down my Internet time. I just want to spend more time with the Lord. This is the last week I've got to prepare for Easter.

May you also prepare well for Easter - the climax of Christianity and the most important feast of the Christian liturgical year.

Read the whole article from which the above text is quoted here.

A different approach to fasting

2007-03-31T15:24:00.000+08:00

Click on the image to enlarge it.

Perhaps, this post is a little late.

I received this in a powerpoint format a couple of weeks ago. My Catholic colleague did a little photoshop wonder and turned a presentation into a compact image.

Everyone is encouraged to fast, but there isn't a particular prescribed time or manner of doing it (Authority for Abstinence in the New Law). There are many forms of fasting, it is not limited to abstinence from food only. Read more on fasting and abstinence here.

Lenten season is almost over. Tomorrow is Palm Sunday, and Good Friday is just another week away. I still feel that my Lenten preparation isn't enough, I could have done more. Much more. Sometimes I just hate myself for not being able to break through the difficulties I face. Another one week to Good Friday, Lord, give me the strength, Your grace and faith to prepare myself well this week.

Have a blessed Holy Week.

Message of Our Lady from Medjugorje

2007-03-26T19:13:00.000+08:00

Message on 25 March 2007:

"Dear children, I desire to thank you from my heart for your Lenten renunciation. I desire to inspire you to continue to live fasting with an open heart. By fasting and renunciation, little children, you will be strong in faith. In God you will find peace through daily prayer. I am with you and I am not tired. I desire to take you all with me to Heaven, therefore, daily decide for holiness. Thank you for having responded to my call."

Curiosity kills my faith...

2007-03-23T21:49:00.001+08:00

... and I really hope that it is not happening. And never will.

I came home bringing what people call "The Cake of Our Lady the Virgin Mary", its dough in a container and a piece of paper with instructions and the history behind it. Due to that dough, I had a fight with my mom.

The instruction sheets. Hand-written that said: "Say a prayer each time. Receive the graces."

Method of Preparation:

As soon as you receive the dough place it in a glass, pyrex or plastic container and cover tightly with glad-wrap or foil. Never put it in the fridge.

DAY 1 & DAY 2 (Day 1 begins the day after you receive the dough)
Leave the dough covered and don't touch it so that it adapts to the atmosphere.

DAY 3 & DAY 4
Stir the dough with a wooden spoon and cover again.

DAY 5
Add 1 cup of sugar, 1 cup of plain yogurt and 2 cups of plain flour. Stir well with a wooden spoon and cover again.

DAYS 6 TO 9
Stir well with a wooden spoon and cover.

DAY 10
Add 1 cup of sugar, 1 cup of yogurt, 2 cups of plain flour and stir well with a wooden spoon. Mix well. Then divide the dough into 4 equal parts. 3 parts to be distributed amongst 3 faithful people (1/4 each). The 4th quarter is yours. Add to it 1/4 cup of sugar, 3 eggs and 1/2 cup of olive oil plus 2 teaspoons of baking powder. Mix well with a wooden spoon and pour into a buttered baking dish. Bake in a moderate oven (150) for 50 minutes.

IMPORTANT NOTES
ALWAYS USE A WOODEN SPOON.
YOU CAN ONLY BAKE THIS CAKE ONCE IN A LIFETIME.
CAKE MUST BE SHARED WITH FAMILY AND FRIENDS.
CAKE LASTS FOR MONTHS

ORIGIN:
It is also known as Pope Pius bread. The story is told that an Italian woman who was suffering all her life from illness that she could not even do her house chores. One day her daughter asked to bake her a cake. She refused more than once because she was unable to do it. The daughter insisted so much taht the mother felt she needed to bake that cake. She asked the aid of the Virgin Mary. As soon as she started to prepare the cake, the Virgin Mary appeared and she herself prepared the cake for the woman. The woman was astonished with that was happening and the Virgin Mother told her "you yourself will eat from that bread and the world as well."

She asked her to keep 1/4 of the dough and to add to t the ingredients of the recipe to make the whole cake and distribute the other 3/4 to 3 other faithful people on condition, that they will do the same procedure to this miraculous dough.

Unto this day, no one has refused to bake this cake, yet, because it brings blessings and prosperity in all families that receive it and prepare it accordingly. It has been said that this bread travelled from the Vatican to America, Australia and Africa and this in itself is a miracle because:-

A -- Even though it is kept out of the fridge it never moulded.
B -- Its odour and form gives one an idea that it has yeast even though it does not.

[Picture caption: The dough. Despite the instruction not to disturb it, I dipped my finger in and felt its texture - gluey, slimy. Smelt like yeast - sour; probably due to the yogurt content.]

I doubt it is true. If it is, I would have read it somewhere from the internet. Or even heard about it through some online friends, or even priests. I've been searching for it online. Nothing at all! Not even the mentioning of it! I even interviewed 2 or 3 online Catholic pals, nobody has even heard of its existence.

It was not intended for me. An aunty from the choir gave it to me because she didn't want to 'share' it further, and also because she doesn't believe in such a thing with no proof. I brought it home all because of curiosity and that I want to find out whether this is true.

[Picture caption: The baked cake. It really looks like normal cakes, but not in the taste, which is sour and it's not as soft.]

Looks like I'll be the first person who refused to bake the cake.

I sincerely ask for the help of all readers, that, you would let me know:

1) the Truth behind this, proof;
2) your testimony (of how it changed your lives and what kind of blessings it brought to you and your loved ones).
If this is a fake myth, I think it's my responsibility to warn the other brothers and sisters about it. However, if they still choose to believe it, then it's perfectly their choice.

Please help me and the parishioners who believe blindly here in Malaysia. My heartiest appreciation to all.

Lent - a time for solitude and silence

2007-03-11T17:23:00.000+08:00

"How's your Lent so far?" Somebody asked me.

Silence. I couldn't really answer. I told myself on Ash Wednesday that I would waste more time in contemplation and reflection of the Word of God all throughout Lent. But look, this is already the 3rd Week of Lent, what have I done so far?

Sigh. I can't remember what I've done, except abstaining from meat and fasting from 2 meals on Friday. That's it? Well, looks like that's it. What a shame.

My utmost desire is still to spend time in prayer. I even planned to stay with the Franciscan sisters last year, to pray and to discern. The purpose I chose a place away from home was because I felt that I need the correct environment to concentrate on praying, avoiding any forms of distractions - the internet, the TV, the computer, my family and friends, and my favourite way of communication, the mobile phone -- any comfort of life to stay close with the Lord

Just recently, the Carmelite sisters lend me the book Imitation of Christ by Thomas à Kempis, and as I flipped through it, this passage caught my eyes and thoughts:

Seek for a convenient time to search your own conscience, and think often of the benefits of God. Abandon curiosity and read such matters as shall stir you to compunction of heart for your sins, rather than only to pass the time. If you will withdraw yourself from superfluous words and from unprofitable business, and from hearing rumours and idle talkes, you will find convenient time to be occupied in holy meditation.

The most holy men and women who ever lived fled, as far as they could, the company of worldly-minded men, and chose to serve God in the secrets of their hearts. One holy man said: As often as I have been among worldly company, I have left it with less fervor of spirit than I had when I came. And this we well realize, whenever we talk long, for it is not so hard always to keep silence as it is not to exceed in words when we speak much. It is also easier to be always alone at home than to go forth into the world and not offend. Therefore, whoever intends to come to an inward fixing of his heart upon God and to have the grace of devotion must with our Saviour Christ withdraw from the world.

Continue reading the rest of the text here.

Thomas highlighted the importance of practicing solitude and silence: ...whoever intends to come to an inward fixing of his heart upon God and to have the grace of devotion must with our Saviour Christ withdraw from the world.

It's already the 3rd Week of Lent. Left with another 2 more weeks to go before the Holy Week. What have you done so far? I'm hoping that, no matter what, I would make it a point to spend a little more time with Christ everyday -- if I don't practice solitude and silence now in preparation for Easter, then when?

Wishing you all a blessed and fruitful Lenten season.

Message of Our Lady from Medjugorje

2007-03-10T01:21:00.000+08:00

Message of February 25, 2007

"Dear children! Open your heart to God's mercy in this Lenten time. The Heavenly Father desires to deliver each of you from the slavery of sin. Therefore, little children, make good use of this time and through meeting with God in confession, leave sin and decide holiness. Do this out of love for Jesus, who redeemed you with His blood, that you may be happy and in peace. Do not forget, little children: your freedom is your weakness, therefore follow my messages with seriousness. Thank you for having responded to my call."

Loneliness is a gift!

2007-02-10T17:54:00.000+08:00

Due to the nature of my job that requires me to travel and do things alone, I was intensively trained for the past 5 months to cope with loneliness. Today, when I looked back, I thank the Lord for the grace, strength and courage He has given me so far, which helped me through the darkest moments of loneliness. And at this very moment I can stand up and testify that -- loneliness is a gift from God.

I used to hate being alone. Each time I was alone, I tend to desperately look for someone to accompany me, it didn't matter who that person is - a guy or a gal; I also had impure thoughts; I watched whatever programme that comes on TV just to kill time, or wasting time online by popping into all kinds of chatrooms. Most of the time I longed for someone... for his touch, his embrace, his presence that would keep me secure... I wanted to feel somebody's love.

Today, I am no longer the same as I grow rooted in the Lord.

When a Catholic friend complained to me, that he was lonely and he needed someone special to be there, I do understand how he must have felt. That emptiness inside that consumes the whole being... that pain, that longing that are unbearable. But they can be filled... with love not from someone else, but from the Source of Love, which is Love itself.

While I was searching online for a photo about loneliness for another post which I was planning to write on, I found this short excerpt on The Loneliness of the Christian.

The loneliness of the Christian results from his walk with God in an ungodly world, a walk that must often take him away from the fellowship of good Christians as well as from that of the unregenerate world. His God-given instincts cry out for companionship with others of his kind, others who can understand his longings, his aspirations, his absorption in the love of Christ; and because within his circle of friends there are so few who share his inner experiences he is forced to walk alone.

[...]

It is this very loneliness that throws him back upon God. His inability to find human companionship drives him to seek in God what he can find nowhere else.

- by A. W. Tozer

It accurately described how I felt then. And because I felt so lonely that I couldn't stand anymore, I started turning to the Lord for companionship and love. Eventually, I become so attached to Him and being alone has become something I look forward to. In fact, I treasure those moments when I just have to sit or kneel in front of a Crucifix or Christ's image and talk to Him straight... like a friend but invisible. As a result of the Conversation, I found peace in my heart, joy, and I feel that I'm so much loved... by Someone so great and who deserves all my love.

When I travel alone, I would bring one book by a Christian writer or anything having to do with the Faith, my darling Bible and the prayer book I always use. I did not have that hungry feeling of loneliness. All I know was that my heart pounded real hard when the departures and arrivals of flights were being announced. My only fear is that I might miss the flight!

If you can come to the realization that loneliness is not scary at all, but is instead an opportunity to have an intimate relationship with God, then you would also look forward to every moment where you can be totally alone -- then be assured that you are going after something that is more precious than silver or gold, which He and He alone can give.

May you discover the beauty of loneliness.

My Vocation Story - The Confusions

2007-02-03T22:02:00.000+08:00

For the past 2 weeks, I met someone online who's desperately looking for a soul mate. After some chats with me, he concluded that I am his answered prayer. I'm a person who couldn't care less about relationships as such, and besides, I clearly know that my heart's desire is religious life.

I was stressing on discovering my religious vocation so much that, he told me - perhaps I'm not called to religious life due to many reasons, and one of them is that God met the two of us. His words were so convincing... as if I've made a mistake by believing all these while that I'm called to become a nun; he gave me 'signs' that the two of us were meant for each other.

I didn't know what actually happened to me that night. Upon listening to what he has said, I felt as if the whole world has tumbled down on me. My faith almost shattered. My hope in the Lord dwindled. For the past 3 days, I was in a total confusion and depression. Religious life really means something to me! I was trying my best to listen to Lord for an answer.

Today, however, a thought suddenly struck me.

Why did I allow myself to give in to him, and allowing the Evil One to take control of me? Making me believe that from the beginning till now, God has never intended me to offer my life for His service, and causing me so much disappointment and sadness for the past 3 days. This experience was horrible, as if I was totally cut off from God; as if He has decided to kick me out of His Kingdom; as if He has fooled with my heart.

I looked back at the time when I received affirmation that my vocation was not marriage. All I could remember was joy, joy and joy everlasting! Compare that with what happened recently, I realized that this was just another way for the Evil One to create havoc in my life. How could it be possible that, if marriage is my vocation, I was feeling so down? Why is that the more I think about it, the more my heart longs for Him? From there, I also realized that it is not a human companion that I look for, I'm actually searching for the presence of Christ in the people I meet... I'm hoping that that person can temporarily 'represent' Christ -- to hold me in His arms, to kiss and affirm me of His love, holding my hand and walking with me, protecting me from all harm -- that sense of security, belonging and great love I have been longing for when I fell in love with Him. That is why it is impossible for me to have an intimate relationship, because all I long for is Him alone. It won't be fair for any guy whom I would be seeing, as they are not the ones I'm in love with.

Back to my vocation. I'm even more sure now, that I'm not called to marriage. My willingness (and also many others) to reach out to others is a result of my (our) relationship with God, a relationship that no one in this whole wide world can replace.

Please pray for me and for those who are discerning religious life or consecrated virginity. Feel free to visit Holy Vocations Blog, a blog co-authored by those who are seriously discerning priesthood and religious life; and say a prayer for all of us there. Thank you!

Message of Our Lady from Medjugorje

2007-01-28T13:45:00.000+08:00

Message of January 25, 2007
“Dear children! Put Sacred Scripture in a visible place in your family and read it. In this way, you will come to know prayer with the heart and your thoughts will be on God. Do not forget that you are passing like a flower in a field, which is visible from afar but disappears in a moment. Little children, leave a sign of goodness and love wherever you pass and God will bless you with an abundance of His blessing. Thank you for having responded to my call.”

My Pondering
Our Lady is reminding us again of the importance of reading Scripture. There are some people whom I know, said that: since they don't understand what most of the texts in the Bible are talking about, they chose not to read it at all. Of which, in my humble opinion, should not be the way. God's Words is my spiritual food, and my soul needs it to grow more in love and in knowledge of Him.

Contribute your opinions

2007-01-16T20:26:00.001+08:00

Do you have comments or opinions regarding the Catholic church? Edward Lee from To Jesus Through Mary would need your help.

As the Blogger of To Jesus Through Mary I am requesting Catholics in the age group of 16-45 to take part in a survey about the direction of the Catholic Church. I want to come to an understanding what young people think of the Church, maybe why they don't go to mass every weekend, and such. I want to know how these individuals want to the Church to be in 20 years from now.

For this reason I wish to dedicate a portion of my time in 2007 to reading surveys which I will create with the help of others. These surveys will be available sometime after the first of the year.

I am asking for all Catholics, from Conservative Catholics to Liberal Catholics, to those involved in the Charismatic movement. Catholics who attend the traditional latin mass and to those who attend mass in the vernacular. All Catholics in the age range of 16-45 I request you to email me at:

catholicsurvey (at) gmail (dot) com

Please put in the subject "Catholic Survey" as a way to eliminate spam.

Upon the receipt of your email, I will send you an email confiriming your request to take part in the survey and the date on which I plan to release the suvey.

I ask if you have a blog or any way to promote this survey to please do so.

I appreciate it your help. This is a great opportunity for us to evaluate your own positions of the Church and to learn about the Church at the same time.

Your Brother in Christ,
Edward Lee

I'll be participating in the survey! Oh well, there's nothing to lose.

Food for thoughts

2007-01-07T15:50:00.000+08:00

"Following the example of the Wise Men we adore the newborn King, and offer Him the gold of a loving heart, the frankincense of persevering prayer, and the myrrh of our readiness to labor and suffer for Him."

Selfish... that's me

2007-01-03T21:42:00.000+08:00

A simple hug expresses love which words cannot describe.

Yes. I'm referring to myself. Selfish... that's the best word to describe what I've not done tonight. And yes, I'm so very disappointed with myself right now. This very moment. No, not just disappointment. Even shame.

Shame on me. I've always wanted to receive a hug from Christ, a real hug; but tonight, I've just let the opportunity slip by. And I could have brought Christ to another person as well, but I failed. Shame, what a shame!

I went for the ^*Evening of Prayer just now. As I did not have any transport to go home, a friend (who is one of the important people in the Parish Council) offered to give me a lift home. So I waited for him outside the church as he had a short discussion with somebody. I was with another two persons, one of the Extraordinary Ministers (who is my father's friend) and his partially disabled son (he had an accident years ago, which affected his locomotion, speech and appearance). I was talking to him and his father when a friend of mine came and we gave each other a hug.

"Gosh, I could have fallen asleep if we hug this way. Haha!" She laughed. And after waving me goodbye and good night, she left with her mother.

So my partially disabled friend saw us, got excited and he said to me, "Hey, I want a hug too!" At first, I couldn't make out what he was saying. I thought he said "I want to hachoo!" which means he wanted to sneeze. I jokingly backed away from him, and told him to "Go ahead and sneeze", then only to realize that something was wrong. So I asked him to repeat what he has just said.

"I want a hug too," he repeated.
"Ohh... from whom?" I asked.
He pointed his index finger at me. "You."

At that very moment, I didn't know what to do. I flashed him a big, shy smile, and stood there, feeling embarrassed. I was totally lost. I didn't know whether I should give him a hug or not. Then a thought came: You're a lady, and you want to hug a guy? HELLO! And look, his father is looking at you. There are some other people around too. Are you not afraid that people might spread rumours? Seeing me not doing anything, he changed the topic.

I must have broken his heart, twice.

See, I'm right, am I not? I'm a selfish person. I feel so insincere. I always tell myself that I must reach out and give anybody a hug if they ask for one or needed one. Anybody at all. Male, female, the sick, the young and the old. Anyway, what is so difficult in performing the simple act of hugging? Yet, I failed. I failed so terribly!!

Oh Lord, please tell me what was wrong with me! How could I give in to such selfish thoughts? Ohhh... how could I let this happen? How could I reject a hug for and from Christ in disguise?? I wish I were at the beach now, alone so that I could cry my heart out... and cry for His forgiveness and perhaps, for another chance...

My dear friends, please, as you read this, DON'T follow my bad example. If I say that I'm still bounded by the Chinese tradition where unmarried man and woman are not supposed to touch, what more to hug each other, I'll be a big liar and besides, that would be a very lame excuse.

A sincere advice for all (this time, I know this comes from God): When it comes to reaching out, don't be self-conscious. Instead, be God-conscious. A hug is a simple act of love. It has the power to bring others to God, as well as helping us to experience God.

I'm invited to the Mandarin session of Evening of Prayer next week, for my help is needed then. I hope I'll be given another chance to give that friend of mine a hug he has asked for tonight.

^*A special prayer session with praise and worship, which is held every Wednesday night in Holy Trinity Church. Every first Wednesday, there will be Benediction and exposure of the Host. All are invited to attend, as long as you're in Kuching.

Happy New Year 2007

2007-01-03T21:13:00.000+08:00

Wow, how time flies! Another new year has come! And I didn't even know that we are already in the Third Millennium!! A friend told me that time is flying scarily fast, that she kind of lost control! So what about you?

Did you enjoy New Year Eve countdown? Or attended any New Year parties?

I was back in Sibu, my home town on New Year Day to attend the Ordination Mass of Deacon Paul Ling (now Fr. Paul - I'll blog about it in the next post), and to meet up with a few friends that night. We spent the night shopping and later went to a cafe to catch up on each other while we dine. It was simple but fun; I really missed them for we have not met for months since our graduation. My friend (who went to Sibu with me) and I almost missed the flight back to Kuching because we attended the first Mass celebrated by the newly-ordained Fr. Paul Ling. I even wasted RM33 for taxi... the driver made me pay extra RM5 because he had no change. Bummer! But I thank God that we were just in time to check in.

Alrights, hope all of you had a great holiday and enjoyed yourselves to the fullest!! Wishing you another year filled with blessings and the love of God... and all good things that come from above!

Christmas caroling... after so long

2006-12-29T23:13:00.000+08:00

A great group of youths, which made caroling a lot more fun. (I'm not in the pic, 'coz I was the photographer!)

It has been ages since the last time I joined the Chinese Choir for Christmas caroling. Those nights of fellowship and carol-singing were really fun. The best part was... FOOD! *LOL* Of course not. That was the 2nd best. The best was none other than being able to meet people who became my friends today. And the greatest memory I've had was the time we wished the house owner "Happy Birthday" or "Happy New Year" (in Mandarin) instead of "Merry Christmas." Still today, whenever I talk to my Chinese group of church friends regarding caroling, we would never fail to have a good laugh as we recall those unforgettable moments.

This year, to tell the truth, I didn't really want to join the Youth caroling. But I joined anyway to help my friends since they lacked manpower. Somehow, I fell sick a few days before the caroling started and so I was 'spared' from my task. I was supposed to be keeping an eye on the younger youths, but instead, I became the one being watched over since I was still recuperating and weak from intestinal infection. Perhaps, it was the time given me by God to mix around with the younger youths, which I did and got to know some of them. Didn't know them well, but at least they felt comfortable talking and joking with me.

Well, I guess I must be young-looking. Those youths actually believed that I'm still in college! Looking (and feeling) young is a good thing, isn't it? It's absolutely a gift from Him! Some adolescents who are the fellow members of English Morning Choir, once declared that I was "the bridge between the Young and the Old." I still have no idea why they call me as such.

Could it be that I am called to work with the youths? To bring them closer God and be there to listen and to understand them? Only God knows.

I enjoyed this year's caroling, although not as much as during the time with the Chinese group. I'm glad to know that God has a place in the hearts of most of these youngsters. And I thank Him for that.

Hoping all of you had a wonderful Christmas!

Blessed Christmas!

2006-12-23T11:11:00.000+08:00

I haven't been able to get online for the past 1 week. It is really horrible, especially for a heavy user of internet like me. Luckily my dialup is still working fine, though with much trouble and an extremely slow speed. Looks like I'll have to stop blogging for a while until my connection is back.

Meanwhile, I thank all those who still come back for updates. This is going to be a short post, 'coz I can't stay online for too long.

Last but not least, my sincere Christmas wishes for all who read this post. Have a blessed Christmas and Happy New Year. Till we meet again next year, keeping you all in my prayers. I also ask for your prayers for me and my family too. Thank you!

Caroling - How proper?

2006-11-28T13:45:00.000+08:00

Christmas is just a month away. Yes, I’m excited. Who is not? For those who love Christ dearly, Christmas is an important season to look forward to. And for me, I’m looking forward to it as well – the grand celebration of my Saviour’s birth.

Caroling practice is in full blast in our parish now and more youths have joined in. I’m glad, because for the first few practices there were only 5 or 6 youths who came but their number have exceeded 15 last night. That is something to be thankful for.

This is usually the time when I enjoyed most, but not so this time.

Not that I’m getting older or growing less fond of caroling. I very much prefer the real Christmas carols which announce the birth of the Saviour, not the secular carols. But for the youth caroling which I’m helping out, they are singing mostly secular songs… “I Saw Mummy Kissing Santa Claus”, “Jingle Bells”, “Santa Claus Is Coming To Town”, “Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer” etc. The worst part of all is that even though we held our practices in the church just in front of the Sanctuary, the youths were not behaving. They misused the choir’s microphones to make weird sound effects for the secular songs we were practicing, causing much unwanted noise.

I’m very unhappy with the situation. The church is God’s dwelling place, where He is present in the form of Bread kept in the Tabernacle. Yet, people ignored this and instead of making joyful streams of praises and to worship His name, they sang stupid secular songs with the banging of electric guitars and tambourines, as if Santa Claus is the reason for the season, transforming the church into a… nothing but a structure where one can scream, shout, play, and jam as loud as one likes.

I couldn’t sing last night. Especially the secular carols. I gazed into the eyes of Jesus on the Crucifix and heard my heart breaking. And I knew that it is very improper to hold caroling practice like this one in the church. It was a total disrespect to the Lord.

Is it just me, or what I’ve felt is actually right? I’m still thinking if I should ask the conductor to shift the practice to one of the empty rooms instead of in the church. I guess if they continue making so much unnecessary noise and yet refuse to practice in another room, I might have to quit.

Oh Lord, have mercy on us!

Message of Our Lady from Medjugorje

2006-11-26T09:16:00.000+08:00

Dear children! Also today I call you to pray, pray, pray. Little children, when you pray you are close to God and He gives you the desire for eternity. This is a time when you can speak more about God and do more for God. Therefore, little children, do not resist but permit Him to lead you, to change you and to enter into your life. Do not forget that you are travellers on the way toward eternity. Therefore, little children, permit God to lead you as a shepherd leads his flock. Thank you for having responded to my call.

Again, Our Lady reminds us to pray. Pray, pray, pray. To pray unceasingly so that we are always connected to God. Each one of us will experience spiritual dryness; when we feel like God is a million miles away and our spiritual lives start going downhill... then it is time for us to reflect on God's love again, surrender everything into His hands and ask Him to renew us.

I'm feeling spiritually dry this week, most probably resulted from my tight schedule - work, choir and caroling. I've started to feel kind of exhausted. Life has been so busy that I failed to slow down to enjoy every moment and to really care for everyone I met. I'm planning for a day or two away from home so that I may 'recharge' my Spirit in the Lord. I really need that before I stray further away from my Beloved.

Have a blessed weekend everyone! Do remember me in your prayers, as I remember you. Thank you and God bless.

My Vocation Story - The First Obstacle

2006-11-23T18:41:00.000+08:00

Photo courtesy Monastery of the Holy Cross

My mother made the very first protest against my interest in joining the Carmelite cloister. A very big one indeed.

I went to the Carmelite Monastery two Saturdays ago together with my parents. I’ve promised one of the sisters to help them with photocopying of some books. We have the usual and casual talk; I told her of some happenings in my life, asked them to pray for my cousin for her forth-coming public exam etc. Suddenly, they requested to speak to my parents.

I was happy, of course, that they were willing to 'meet my parents. So after I got my parents to talk to one of them, I went off to the Chapel to say hello to the Lord. But I went back after 5 minutes to see how my parents were doing. I was eager to find out what they were talking about, because I knew that just before I walked off 5 minutes ago, the sister was talking about me. The sister was talking to my Mom. Dad whispered to me when he saw me reappeared, "Your mom is feeling very uncomfortable."

My parents then made an excuse to leave while I continued talking to her. She invited my parents to meet the whole community. As I am an aspirant, according to her, my family is given the privilege to meet the whole community of Carmelite nuns. I was excited, of course! I’m an aspirant!!! Wow!! However, my Mom refused their invitation. It shocked me, because all the while I thought that she’s dying to meet the Carmelite sisters.

"It’s ok, dear." said Mother Conceptual. "She’s just not ready. We don’t want to scare them." After thanking her for everything, my parents and I left for home.

After two days, my mom suddenly raised this topic. She blamed the Carmelite sisters for 'brain-washing' me and putting in me the desire of joining them. She even warned me that I should never visit them anymore. I got a shock of a lifetime. Is there something wrong with my mom? Why is she putting all the blame on the nuns because of me thinking about my vocation seriously?

"The nuns' fault? Mom, this is ridiculous!" I lost my patience, which I was not supposed to. She continued with her own theory. I started with my own reasoning.

"Sorry Mom. I can’t listen to whatever you’ve said. You don’t make any sense!" I ended our argument. That very instance, Mom started a cold war with me.

We did not talk to each other for 4 days. I tried to break the ice, but mom ignored me. These 4 days were really a torture. I lost my concentration during work; I lost my appetite, and even my will to go on. When I was on my way to the office one morning, I ran the red light and almost collided head-on with an on coming car. Normally, situation like this would freak me out. But that morning, I was just so calm, as if I I’ve lost all my senses. Fortunately, the both of us stopped our cars just in time. I simply raised my hand as a sign of apology without even looking at the driver, and quickly drove away. When I replayed the scene that night, my whole being was immersed in fear. Gosh, I could have killed the both of us! How very dangerous I have been!

Obviously, my mother's objection to my vocation has impacted me a lot. Far worse than I’ve ever imagined and expected. For those 4 days, it felt as if I was completely separated from the One I truly love, as if my soul had withered. It felt as though I was given 2 choices – 1. Give up my vocation to please my mother, or 2. Give up my mother (and family) to live a life I am called to live. A very tough decision but I’m certain, that if I was to be given these 2 choices, I wouldn’t hesitate to leave everything for His Kingdom. I could have just left home and went straight to the cloister the very moment my mother voiced her objection. However, when I look at my small family – my parents are retired, my brother is still in college and I’m the only source of income, I believe that this is not the time for me to give up everything behind yet. My heart told me that God is still preparing me for the future; only He knows what the future is like.

Finally, I took the initiative and with the help of my father, my mom and I started to communicate once again. Gosh, it was a great relieve for me! Everything went back to normal. My love for Christ has gone another level higher, realizing how much I needed Him right by my side. I’m trying my best not to mention Carmelite as not to trigger my mom’s anger. I was upset with her for her objection, but at the same time I thanked the Lord that, if it was not because of this test I would not have known how much I really love Him.

I believe that this is not the end. There would be more to come along the way. I need to stay closely connected to the Lord through prayers so that I can stand firm no matter what. Regarding my parents, I pray that I can understand how they really feel and I offer them up to the Lord. Somehow, I came to understand how Mother Catherine Thomas (the author of My Beloved: the Story of a Carmelite Nun) has felt when her mother did not approve of her joining the Carmelite cloister.

For those who are discerning, be assured of my prayers. Also, I sincerely request for your prayers for my family and I, and all who are discerning a religious life.

Church crisis?

2006-11-20T23:25:00.000+08:00

Not just the Diocese of Orange. Somehow, somewhere around every corner of the world, a similar phenomenon may be present, whether we're aware of it or not.

Photo from Roman Catholic Blog

Substitute the "Diocese of Orange" to your own diocese/parish. Is there anything fishy going on?

What am I thankful for this year? All you good Catholic parishioners who see my abuses and abominations in the Holy Trinity Parish and do absolutely nothing!

This is extremely scary for me. Apathy.

Something off-topic

2006-11-14T21:22:00.000+08:00

Finally, I've successfully applied for broadband internet, which has taken about a few weeks. Thank God for that and I hope I can utilise this for His Glory alone. And hopefully too, that I can blog a little more often.

I've been travelling a lot these days, I keep going back to Bintulu, a small town approximately 45 minutes of flight from Kuching (where I live). For the moment, there is a pulp mill project going on so I have to go to the project site quite regularly. I'm not any important person; I'm just the assistance project coordinator. So far my job is just being the 'tour guide' of our sub-consultants or experts who work for us.

Here is how a longhouse looks like. I took this photo during my first trip to the project site (which is about 60 km away from the main town). It was my first experience communicating with the local people and being to one. During my second trip, I actually had a chance to dine with them.

These are how the local indigenous people look like. These are now modern longhouses. They have pour-flash toilets, electricity (generator-powered), engine boats, gas stoves etc, even handphones. Besides, they are nice and friendly too.

The traffic analyst, her 2 technicians and I (and my Caucasian colleague who took this photo) were heading back to the jetty after site visit. Do you know which one is me? Hehehe.

There you go. This beautiful British lady is my colleague. She's a Marine Biologist and her expertise is in fish fauna. She's been in Kuching for more than 6 years, and she knows her way around town better than I do!! So if you are planning for a holiday vacation in Kuching (Borneo, Sarawak), you can give her a call, provided she's not on travelling and is free. One sad thing, though, she's a lapsed Christian. That guy in blue suit was our fisherman and boatman then.

Tell me. Have you ever seen a prawn that big? The King Prawn. We caught 2 or 3 of these prawns, and later we had a good lunch over fresly cooked prawns. Yummy!

I noticed that my colleague was really facinated by the baby girl. That's why I took a photo of her with the local women. These women are really good at handicrafts, especially those having to do with weaving. They are beautiful people...

After 4 days of working hard, all of us took a group photo for remembrance. When I went back to the longhouse (the house of Thomas, first from the right) this morning, they people there actually called me Thomas' foster-daughter. Hahaha.

All in all, all the 3 trips have been real fun. I mean, fun in gaining some experiences and doing things for the first time. I thank God for all the nice people I've met... and also that I'm always in good hands.

God bless!

Holiness... is not easy

2006-11-04T23:24:00.000+08:00

To be holy it is not necessary to accomplish extraordinary acts nor possess exceptional gifts. It is simply necessary to serve Jesus, to listen to him ant do follow him without losing courage when faced with difficulties.

~ Pope Benedict XVI's homily on the Solemnity of All Saints, November 1, 2006

At another time, I heard a similar saying:

Holiness means to do little and ordinary things with great love.

Don't you agree?

At times, I have big dreams. I dreamt of being rich; when there is no financial worry, I can do so many things -- helping those with financial problems, driving friends who are living so far away from church and with transport problems, to be there immediately when friends needed someone by their side, to ease the pain of people who are suffering from illnesses by buying them medicine or health suppliments, to travel all around the world and involve in missionary work... I wanted to make the world a better place to live in, and the list goes on and on...

But, no. These are no "holiness". I realized that I can't even do little things with love! I complained when my parents asked me to do some housework for them - washing the dishes, do the laundry, mop the floor, prepare dinner etc. And with non-Catholic friends, sometimes I took them for granted - being rude, not understanding, refused to listen but talked too much, being unsincere etc. Really, sometimes I just feel that I am a total hypocrite!

So, what is the use of desiring to accomplish great things when I can't even do small things well? No point, isn't it?

The first step to holiness is to do little things with great love.

Sounds easy, eh? *grin* It's not easy for me, though. I'm still trying my best to put love into EVERYTHING I do... but I tend to lose sight of God and when that happens, my human nature surfaced. I, a sinner, certainly cannot offer any good advice for anyone who are searching for ways to holiness. One thing, however, this poor heart of mine has been telling me is that:

Live each day as if it is our last.

Recite the prayers (esp. Our Father, Hail Mary, Glory Be) slowly and reflect on each word you're saying. Mean what you say and say only what you mean.

DO NOT lose sight of the Lord, because without Him we cannot do anything.

Give thanks and praise to the Lord for EVERYTHING we have received.

Be humble, as our Servant King is humble.

Or, here is a website that's all about Holiness.

Let us together follow the example of the Saints and live our lives for the glory of God alone!

God bless.

Beautiful saying...

2006-10-27T23:56:00.000+08:00

This is just amazingly beautiful... don't you agree?

There is nothing more beautiful than to be surprised by the Gospel, by the encounter with Christ. ~ Pope Benedict XVI

How sad it is for those people who complained that the Gospel is too difficult to understand and they make all kinds of excuses to make everything else more important than reading God's Words.

Message of Our Lady from Medjugorje

2006-10-26T21:49:00.000+08:00

Message of October 25, 2006

Dear children! Today the Lord permitted me to tell you again that you live in a time of grace. You are not conscious, little children, that God is giving you a great opportunity to convert and to live in peace and love. You are so blind and attached to earthly things and think of earthly life. God sent me to lead you toward eternal life. I, little children, am not tired, although I see that your hearts are heavy and tired for everything that is a grace and a gift. Thank you for having responded to my call.

Children of Medjugorge, Inc.

I am never alone!

2006-10-24T20:19:00.000+08:00

You, LORD, will not forsake Your people, nor abandon Your very own. If the LORD were not my help, I would long have been silent in the grave. When I say, "My feet is slipping," Your love, LORD, holds me up...
- Psalm 94

I just came back from a field survey in Bintulu, a not-so-big town which is about 45 minutes of flight from Kuching. When I was on the plane on my way back home, I reflected on the days I had there. I was alone... my supervisor was supposed to go with me but due to some unknown reasons, he sent me off alone to this foreign town. Well, I wasn't really alone though. I flew there with a colleague and another 3 professionals; I felt lonely because I didn't know them as well as I've known my supervisor.

Oh nope. That wasn't what I was worried about. The thing that worried me the most (it occupied my mind ever since I got to know that I had to go to Bintulu without my supervisor) was that I would have to drive all the five of us to the site... using a 4-WD. Something which I've never done before! I know how to drive, but I've never anticipated a 4WD or any car bigger than the normal, standard-sized cars. Furthermore, I would be driving in a town which is totally foreign to me.

Let's keep the long story short and get straight to the point.

Even though I felt alone, I wasn't totally alone. God sent nice people to be with me. My Caucasian colleague, the traffic expert and two technicians assisting her, the geologist, and my dear aunt. Through them, I felt the strong presence of God... everything was well organised and I felt that I was well taken care of.

I really don't know how to explain this or to put it into words, but I do know that He has never left my side no matter where I am and was, no matter how alone I seemed to be at that moment. It was just AMAZING... when I looked back, He was there in every situation. Perhaps that was why I didn't face much trouble at all.

When I got into the plane all by myself (because all the rest have gone back the day before), it was peace and joy that I experienced. I knew I wasn't alone after all.

It is more than enough to know that He travels by my side! And truly, as St. Paul says, God will not give us more than we can handle [1 Cor 10:13].

I give You thanks, O Lord, for these people You've sent. And Father, thank You for always being there. Through Jesus' name, AMEN.

Are you happy?

2006-09-27T11:33:00.000+08:00

Have you ever asked yourself this question? Am I happy? Happy with my life? Sometimes, my answer is yes; sometimes, no. As I look back, I realized that it wasn't wealth or material possession, nor is it accademic qualifications, that made me happy. There were times when I told the Lord, "Lord, I need more money, more of this and more of that." But when I've got all that I've requested for, I would desire and ask for even more! No... anything worldly has failed to satisfy my soul and my every desire, let alone giving me happiness.

Happiness is not determined by external circumstances, but by internal circumstances. How true it is! Personally, I found happiness
in making sacrifices for family and friends. I love helping out in church even though my contribution is considered small and unnoticed. I like giving compliments to people I meet, if this little act can bring a smile on their faces. I willingly give a hand, even though I know that my help is not appreciated, only God sees it all! I like to utter "I love you" to God at any moments I feel like to, because I clearly know that He loves me even more... every second of everyday.

What about you? Are you happy?

Thoughts inspired by the story below...

What are you waiting for?

Most people are waiting for something -- something "special" that will make their life great, so they can be happy.

Ask yourself: have others had this, and are they all happy? No, they're not, and it won't give you lasting happiness, either.

Happiness is not determined by external circumstances, but by internal circumstances.

Everyone chooses how happy they are by what they choose to think about.

Your attitude is determined by your perspective, which is determined by what you think about -- your focus. You choose your focus, so ultimately, you are the one who chooses whether to be happy, or not.

Perspective is what the Beatitudes (Matthew 5) are about. Seeing a bigger picture than just this one small moment of time. (The Beatitudes are where Jesus explained how some are blessed, or happy -- even in difficult situations.)

(The word we translate as "happy" in the New Testament is usually translated as "blessed.")

You won't get happiness by chasing what the world has to offer. It has already been tried and found wanting.

And, you will never be happy as long as you are self-centered. A focus on self is guaranteed to prevent happiness.

Right after Jesus performed the menial task of washing his disciple's feet -- akin to cleaning toilets today -- He told
them:

JOHN 13:15,17 ICB
15 I did this as an example for you. So you should do as I have done for you. 17 If you know these things, you will be happy if you do them.

You will be happy if you help others. If you take your focus off yourself. That's what Jesus taught.

~ A Devotion

Humble pie... snack for spiritual health

2006-09-24T14:29:00.000+08:00

Since I'm a newbie at the company I'm working with right now, I tried my very best to be polite and nice to all my colleagues, in contrast to how I usually interact with my good friends (that doesn't mean that I treat my friends rudely; my friends and I know each other so well that our response to each other is so "natural" and spontaneous... hope you get what I mean). Because I know that as a fresh graduate and to "steal" skills from the experts and to be accepted by them, I have no choice but to humble myself.

I thought I was humble enough, that's why my colleagues treated me well and were willing to help me. Therefore when the daily reflection mentioned about being humble, it didn't come to my mind that I'm not that humble after all.

I went to another town the other day to do a field survey on the project site. My job was to bring the geologist to the site and explain to him what the whole project was about and what was required. I met this geologist for the first time, and he was such a gentleman despite his knowledge and experience. I was impressed, both by his knowledge and his humbleness.

After everything was done, we drove up to the District Office as we needed the population data surrounding the project area. [My supervisor wasn't there, so I had to do everything by myself.] Again, I tried to be friendly to the District officer as I passed him the letter of request my supervisor has prepared for me. To my dismay, the District officer refused to give me what I requested and worse still, he was really rude. I was mad and dissatisfied.

I kept asking myself...
This guy is a Chinese, and yet he was so rude to a fellow Chinese, how could he?
What's wrong with this guy? Is this how he always treat others?
Should I just file a lawsuit against him? I'm not happy with his service.

The more I thought about it, the angrier I became.

Damn... who did he think he is to humiliate me?!

Wait a minute... did I just feel humiliated?

There is no other better proof than this that can clearly show the absence of humbleness in me. If I was humble enough, would I still feel humiliated? Certainly not. I was so upset that I told everyone about it.

...we conplain when we experience something unheavenly here on earth. ... We cry, "God, I'm tired of this trial! When are You going to make it end?" (That's what the Israelites said in the desert.) "God, You obviously don't understand how bad this problem is for me. Can't you see I'm suffering here? Oh God, when are you going to make that person change so that I can enjoy my life better?"

...Complaining to others is an indication that we don't mind spreading our distrust. Complaints mean we've forgotten that God is already blessing us. Did Jesus ever complain? He got upset sometimes, but he never complained, not even when they beat him and nailed him to the cross. Instead, he prayed for his persecutors: "Father, forgive them, because they don't know what they're doing." ...

~ by Terry Modica, Good News Ministry

I realized that humbleness is not just needed for my work, but in my daily encounter with everyone God sent, including my family members and my closest friends. Why should I let pride take control of me? What good can I do with pride leading the way? What good would I get out of self-gratification? Is there anything about me which I can boast about? Surely, NO! Deep down in my heart, I clearly know that I'm not a professional nor am I a great person; I have not made any significant contribution to the world; I'm a nobody in this world!

If Jesus the Almighty God and King of the whole universe, willingly came DOWN from Heaven to become a servant, how much more should I, a nobody, humble myself and follow the footsteps of my Master!! For St. Paul says, "Let him who boasts boast in the Lord." (1 Cor 1:31)

Father, please teach me to be meek and humble like You. I want to learn Your ways!

Inspired by Daily Reflection of 14 September, the feast of The Exaltation of the Holy Cross.

I'd like to ask for forgiveness from everyone for the many occasions when I've been rude, unfriendly and proud, whether in words or in action.

God's love always goes to...

2006-09-22T23:33:00.000+08:00

... the unlovable. Like me.

He gave me a good education and found me a good company to work in... although I don't deserve it.

He gave me friends who really care; He opened my heart and my eyes to feel and see like He does... although I don't deserve it.

He always makes sure that I'm in good hands... although I don't deserve it.

He loves me so, even though I don't deserve His love. So many times, I crowned Him with the Crown of Thorns, I sent Him back to the Cross again; I clearly know that I'm very disappointing - I'm not as smart as the rest of my friends are, I'm weak and vulnerable inside although I look rather strong outside, I'm skill-less, not even good looking, I can't find any good quality in myself... in fact, I'm a good-for-nothing fellow.

But He loves me still. What is my worth? In reality, I'm worthless. In God's eyes, I'm worth dying for. The more I learnt of my unworthiness, the more I found God's untiring and unconditional love for me. Just by gazing at the Crucifix is enough to bring me to tears.

Father God, what have I done that I deserve all Your love? Please allow me to prove my love for You as You have proven Yours for me, as long as I live...

Gereja Katolik St Ann: Parishioner is Newly-Professed Carmelite

2006-09-12T02:03:00.000+08:00

I have been invited by the Carmelite Sisters to the profession of solemn vows of two sisters, but sadly, I couldn't make it as I was on a vacation with my family.

I don't really know these sisters well, but I've met them three times. The last time I met them, they can still remember my name! Wow! The joy of giving oneself completely to God for the sake of His Kingdom... how wonderful it is!

Dear sisters, I will visit all of you again as soon as I have some free time. Love you all dearly.

Click here for the news:
Gereja Katolik St Ann: Parishioner is Newly-Professed Carmelite

My Prayer

2006-09-10T23:31:00.000+08:00

This heart of mine is Yours... my Jesus, so take this heart of mine, fill it with Your love and then order me to do whatever You wish. - St. Padre Pio

I sincerely repeat this simple prayer of love after St. Padre Pio, that another week ahead will be another blessed journey with Him, He whom my heart desperately longs for.

This heart of mine is Yours... my Jesus, so take this heart of mine, fill it with Your love and then order me to do whatever You wish.

May this simple prayer be your prayer too. God bless!

Inspired by Moneybag's Inspirational Wisdom for Today.

A little update

2006-09-10T14:24:00.000+08:00

Looks like I haven't been updating this blog for a while. I really miss blogging... miss the time I used to sit in front of the computer for hours to read and type, with a glass of beverage and the Bible by my side. Ever since I started work, I need to turn in earlier than usual (I used to stay up until 3-4 a.m.!). If I don't, my Dad would be nagging away and we would eventually end up in a quarrel, which I really hate. (I'm working in an environmental consultancy company - click here to visit the company's website.)

Life has started to become more challenging as I attended CHOICE* Weekend and became part of the CHOICE family. I've been challenged to put my faith into practice. So far I've been slow to anger, tried my best not to raise my voice when talking to my parents, tried to help my Mom with housework as much as possible, practiced saying 'thank you' for everything they do for me etc. I've also forgiven those who have hurt me - I'm amazed at what Sacrament of Reconciliation can do! I also felt much better after all the tears during my confession to the priest I trusted.

I have a bigger circle of friends now. At work, in church and in CHOICE. Another part of my life adventure has begun.

I want to thank those who are constantly stopping by all these while to check on this blog. I'll try to blog more. I hope everyone is doing fine during my absence. God bless!

*CHOICE is an outreach programme for single adults, presenting in a positive way the consequences of belonging in relationships. The Weekend programme experience has helped many singles rediscover their sense of belonging with their family, friends and God, with some even discovering their purpose and mission in life. CHOICE Malaysia belongs to a bigger family - CHOICE Asia, which consists of Asian countries that organises CHOICE Weekends. These countries include Indonesia, Japan, Korea, Malaysia, Singapore, Taiwan, Hong Kong and the Philippines. CHOICE Asia meets once in two years to share and exchange ideas.

I get emotional... for Him

2006-08-31T14:50:00.000+08:00

I get emotional when I kneel before the Tabernacle. I miss Him so much, and I wish that He would appear right before my eyes so that I can run into His embrace.

I get emotional when it comes to singing. Any kind of songs or hymns can remind me of my need of Him.

I get emotional when friends are discussing vocations. I've always dreamt of the moment I would take my vow... the vow of everlasting love for Him and Him alone.

I got emotional when a friend said he wanted to marry me. I got so angry and asked him to shut up. I felt so painful inside when I imagined myself living my life for somebody else and not Him.

No. I can no longer tolerate His absence in my life. Who can satisfy my every need and desire but He alone?

Have you ever felt this way? That the more you tried to disappoint and hurt Him, the more abundantly He would bless you. And the more He blesses you, the more guilty you would feel. When His love started to overflow in you, you realised that He is all you've ever wanted and needed. And gradually you began to see everything differently, because you see things through His eyes. Finally, He became the most important part of your life.

I am experiencing that right now. And I don't want that feeling to fade away. I want it to stay that way... to be occupied by Him spiritually, mentally and physically.

Fill me with Your fire, Lord, and change me deep within so that in everything I do, I'll do it for Your glory. Lord, guide me with the help of Your Spirit, and take away desires and things that keep me from You. Lord, please let me prove my love for You.

Prayer to Pope John Paul the Great

2006-08-26T20:56:00.001+08:00

Pope John Paull II is the person who have inspired me the most, and even though he is with Daddy God in Heaven today, he's still an inspiration to me. Oh how much I miss him!

Sharing with you the prayer I personally love...

Prayer for asking graces through the intercession of the Servant of God Pope John Paul II

O Blessed Trinity We thank You for having graced the Church with Pope John Paul II and for allowing the tenderness of your Fatherly care, the glory of the cross of Christ, and the splendor of the Holy Spirit, to shine through him. Trusting fully in Your infinite mercy and in the maternal intercession of Mary, he has given us a living image of Jesus the Good Shepherd, and has shown us that holiness is the necessary measure of ordinary Christian life and is the way of achieving eternal communion with you. Grant us, by his intercession, and according to Your will, the graces we implore, hoping that he will soon be numbered among your saints. Amen.

Adapted from Gallery of Lovers of Saints

Message of Our Lady from Medjugorje

2006-08-26T20:26:00.000+08:00

Message of August 25, 2006

“Dear children! Also today I call you to pray, pray, pray. Only in prayer will you be near to me and my Son and you will see how short this life is. In your heart a desire for Heaven will be born. Joy will begin to rule in your heart and prayer will begin to flow like a river. In your words there will only be thanksgiving to God for having created you and the desire for holiness will become a reality for you. Thank you for having responded to my call.”

Children of Medjugorje, Inc.

Confirmation Anniversary

2006-08-23T23:18:00.001+08:00

8 years ago, I received the Sacrament of Confirmation. It was so beautiful that I can hardly forget about it. Today, I'm just so glad that I said "yes" to God, and I'll be saying "yes" to Him throughout another year in everything I'm going to do.

I didn't have any special celebration. It just happened that my good friends from university called me up and we went out for a 'reunion' dinner at KFC. I sure had a good dinner with lots of laughter and fun-filled moments.

Besides, I'm working right now as an Environmental Executive. Just started work on Monday 21st August. It's not an easy job... I write EIA reports and Terms Of Reference (TOR), going to project site to collect samples, and even meeting clients. Right now I'm helping out with the writing of TOR for one project. I'm praying for God's wisdom, strength and blessings so that I can finish the current project in time. Please say a prayer for me too! You can read the post about this job of mine HERE.

Photo courtesy Dayspring.

Catholic Carnival is Up!

2006-08-23T22:57:00.000+08:00

Catholic Carnival for this week is up and can be found at Catholic Blog Carnival: Mater Dei, Ora Pro Nobis in To Jesus Through Mary. There are 15 interesting posts worth a read.

I've also submitted a post with the title Love, Mercy and Justice. Just a simple post about the lesson I learned for the past few weeks.

Enjoy reading and reflecting! God bless.

Love, mercy and justice

2006-08-19T09:51:00.000+08:00

During the Fan Into Flame seminar, one of the speakers started his speach by asking us this question: Between God's love and God's mercy, which is the greatest? What do you think? How can we measure God's love and mercy? Both of them are just as great! But on a personal note, I believe that love comes first, mercy second.

For God loved the world so much that he gave his only Son, so that everyone who believes in him may not die but have eternal life. For God did not send his Son into the world to be its judge, but to be its saviour. (John 3:16-17)

The first sentence tells us that God loves us. And [the second sentence] because of His great love for us, He sent His Son so that instead of condemning us, He came to save us - this is mercy. Love is the greatest thing on earth. Love is God Himself! And where there is love, there is mercy also.

"Lord, how often shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? As many as seven times?" Jesus said to him [Peter], "I do not say to you seven times, but seventy times seven." (Matthew 18:21-22)

How I wished I have read the reflection for Thursday Gospel reading (Matt 18:21-19:1) earlier so that I would not have given in to anger and unforgiveness. Two weeks ago, I kept on thinking that, since it wasn't my fault (or my parents' fault) why should I (they) leave all the serving ministries? The person who has caused all these 'disaster' should be the one leaving. The person who has caused all kind of 'chaos' should be the one apologising. Getting angry with that person is the right thing to do.

Until I got a wake-up call from God-sent people and read the Gospel reading and reflection for Thursday.

[...] Jesus made it clear that there is no reckonable limit to forgiveness, and he drove the lesson home with a parable about two very different kinds of debts. [...] No offence our neighbour can do to us can compare with our debt to God! We have been forgiven a debt which is beyond all paying; to ransom our debt of sin God gave up his only begotten Son. If God has forgiven each of us our debt, which was very great, we, too must forgive others the debt they owe us.

[...] James says that judgement is without mercy to one who has shown no mercy (James 2:13). Mercy is truly a gift and it is offered in such a way that justice is not negated. Mercy 'seasons' justice as salt seasons meat and gives it flavour. Mercy follows justice and perfects it. To pardon the unrepentant is not mercy but licence. C.S. Lewis, a contemporary Christian author wrote: "Mercy will flower only when it grows in the crannies of the rock of Justice: transplanted to the marshlands of mere Humanitarianism, it becomes a man-eating weed, all the more dangerous because it is still called by the same name as the mountain variety."

If we want mercy shown to us we must be ready to forgive others as God has forgiven us.

An eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth is not my style. Thinking about revenge is just torturing my heart and soul. When I told a very good friend through MSN that I've decided to let go of my grudge and resentment towards that person, she immediately said to me, "This is the che-che (sister, translated from mandarin) I know, a good person with a big heart." Wow, what an affirmation!! It felt like an affirmation from the Father, "This is my beloved."

For me, this is a good lesson learnt. My next mission is to work together with Christ; I shall be the love- and mercy-sower, Jesus will be the garderner. And I will patiently wait for the 'fruits' to grow as God showers His blessings on His people.

Inspired by Thursday Gospel reflection in Lectio Divina, a community project of the Secular Order of Discalced Carmelites (OCDS) Malaysia.

Mind my own life

2006-08-18T09:37:00.000+08:00

I realized that my last post (which I have deleted) will not just bring me lots of trouble, even the friends whom I love so much may be affected as well because of me. No, I don't want that to happen. I don't want to involve those who are innocent. Therefore, by not making that post public is the only way to protect those I love.

The story of Jesus and the prostitude has been in my mind ever since the day I sat down and did some reflections. Jesus said, "If any one of you is without sin, let him be the first to throw a stone at her." (John 8:7) I knew that all along, that is why I didn't get to be the first one to "throw that stone." Today, I have more realizations and know that I should mind my own business.

1. God has His own PURPOSE for each of us, whether we are good or bad. In the same way, chances of meeting different types of people are given to me for a good reason. One of the many reasons (which my immature mind identified) is that God wants to open my eyes and let me learn from the mistakes of others, and also to apply other people's good points into my own life. Perhaps He is like a potter's hands shaping my life so that I become the person I am supposed to be. So, condemning a person is not my job.

2. The Bible says, "Do not give what is holy to dogs - they will only turn and attack you. Do not throw your pearls in front of pigs - they will only trample them underfoot." (Mark 7:6). I happen to spot this verse when I was flipping the pages to look for the encounter of Jesus with the prostitute (John 8). I know that there's no use getting angry, nor is it going to help if I take revenge. Therefore, why should I worry about those who couldn't care less about others? Why should I get angry with them? Will I get anything out of it? NO. Instead, it is such a waste of time and energy, besides causing me to have a shorter lifespan. Haha.

3. Who am I to teach others a lesson? Who am I to tell them that they need to change? Who am I to threaten them? I don't have the RIGHT and AUTHORITY to do all that, because God is the Ultimate Jugde and not me. The Bible says, "Do not jugde others, so that God will not judge you, for God will judge you in the same way you judge others..." (Matt 7:1). That verse has really scared me out of my chair! Well, why should I be afraid that they repeat their mistakes again and again? It's their choice anyway. All of us will have to give an account for our deeds at the end of our lives. We are all judged individually. I'm not the generous kind who would accompany them to hell! No way!!

4. Liking involves feeling, loving involves willing. I cannot distinguish the differences between 'like' and 'love' until years ago. When I say that I like someone, it is not necessary that I love him/her. In the same way, when I hate someone, it doesn't mean that I don't love him/her. Even though I can hate someone with all my heart and soul, I would still willingly help that person when he/she comes to me for help. Why? Because I LOVE God and whatever He says I'll do.

Okay, since it is no more my business and there's nothing I can do to change the situation, my real job is to PRAY. To pray for conversion of hearts. To pray for forgiveness. To pray for perseverence, courage and wisdom. To pray for God's protection and guidance. And to put all hope and trust in the Lord our God, who never fails to keep His promise. I also ask for prayers of this blog's readers, that God will protect me and those around me from the snares of the evil one.

[I've recovered from my anger and unwillingness to forgive. Looks like everything will return to normal again. Thank you for your prayers and advice. Father, I ask for Your forgiveness for bringing You so much pain. Have mercy on me, Lord!]

Don't give anger a chance!

2006-08-12T23:08:00.000+08:00

Don't you think this is kinda scary? We've never realised that being angry is really scary.

Anger. It's such a familiar word to me. Bad temper. That's one of my characteristics many friends of mine can easily identify.

I have been trying real hard to keep my temper under control, but sometimes, it disrupts when I'm unnecessarily provoked. I don't like getting angry at all. When my patience has reached its limit, I can become violent. But I thank God that so far, I haven't hurt anybody yet. Nor do I wish to hurt anyone in the future.

I landed on this post by Moneybags: "On Anger" By St. John Vianney. It is terrifying to know that we actually give authority to the Devil to take control of us when we let anger manisfest itself in us. The damage anger can do are unpredictable. And so, before we burst into anger, it is wise if we can think of the hurt we will inflict on the others, as well as on God whom we love so much.

"On Anger" By St. John Vianney is a good article to read up if you have a bad temper like I do. By God's grace, I'm sure I'll be able to control my temper better. Lord God, take control of me and my temper so that I'd not hurt you and myself in return.

Photo courtesy of Indymedia Italy.

I'm a fool

2006-08-12T22:47:00.000+08:00

I have been angry with someone from church who hurt my father a week ago. She has done the same thing to many others and drove them away from our church many years back. I thought she has changed, but looks like I was wrong.

So I wasn't happy for the whole week. I felt like giving her a punch in the face, to teach her a lesson she will never forget for the rest of her life. Since no one has done that before, let me be the first. I told the Lord. It took me a long time to forgive her (I was her victim too), now she has caused my hatred for her to grow again.

I even blamed the Lord for letting this happen. Why Lord? Why my father and not me? Let me bear all these hurt for my father because I have been through it once. And that would most probably be a good chance for me to teach her a lesson (for if I'm provoked, I can be very violent). I prayed.

I seem to get an answer in my heart... "My Child, I knew you would do that. That's why I didn't allow it." I wasn't satisfied, of course. For that week, I forgot my Morning Prayers and Night Prayers. All that's on my mind when I opened my eyes in the morning and before I sleep at night is that woman and what she did. It was a terrible week.

Until last night, changes started happening. I went for choir practice, and as usual we have praise & worship first. But when we were singing the hymn "You Are My All In All", my eyes got foggy.

You are my strength when I am weak,
You are the treasure that I seek,
You are my all in all;
Seeking You as a precious jewel,
Lord to give up I'd be a fool,
You are my all in all...

Taking my sin, my cross, my shame,
Rising again I bless your name,
You are my all in all;
When I fall down You picked me up,
When I am dry You fill my cup,
You are my all in all...

Tears flowed.

Oh, how could I be such a fool? Why did I let matters like this to trouble me? How could I give up the greatest Treasure which I own? Why did I allow myself to believe in the lies of the evil one? Lord, have mercy on me, a sinner!

Right now, I offer up all the anxiety, anger, confusion, and unwillingness to forgive to my Lord. Only by letting go and letting God can I overcome this problem and many problems to come in the future.

God bless.

My convocation

2006-08-11T00:48:00.000+08:00

Hooray! I had my graduation ceremony on the 6th August (oops, yes I know I should have posted these photos earlier. But something came up so they have to wait). How did I feel? Joy to the extreme. Hehe. And thankful too, that I finally come to an end of the campus life. I know that I didn't really excel in studies, but I also know that God has His own plan for me. And besides, I didn't do too badly at all... 'cos I qualified for convocation! Lord, I knew that since You brought me to it, You'll bring me through it. And You did! Thank you Lord!

See those flowers? I didn't expect anybody to buy me flowers or gifts, but a junior came with these and it was indeed a pleasant surprise! It was my first time to receive flowers from someone.

Here are some of my good friends who have journeyed with me through thick and thin. Not all the time, but we've enjoyed moments together. The memory of these three years shall I carefully keep in the treasure box of my heart. :) Too bad I couldn't get the whole gang in, since everybody was busy with photo taking. For those who are not in the photo and those who are, I love you all! And thank you for the friendship I enjoyed and cherished. May God bless your future and everything you do. Ohh... and CONGRATULATIONS... to ALL OF US!!! ;)

Thanksgiving... on my birthdday

2006-08-04T02:17:00.000+08:00

Gees... I'm kind of hungry when I see this cake.

I am celebrating my 24th birthday today.

Goodness, age is really catching up. At about 11:40 p.m. on 3rd August, I was surfing the internet and looking for some Catholic news that might attract me. An SMS came, but I took no notice of it. After 10 minutes, I checked the message and it was a pleasant surprise! A friend sent me a birthday greeting. Seriously, I forgot that I have lived for 24 years when the clock strikes 12:00 midnight.

See, I can be that forgetful sometimes. I almost forgotten my own birthday!

I don't think I will have a birthday cake this year. But the best birthday memory that I had was two years ago when I stayed with my campus mates in a rented house. They prepared a grand celebration for me, with chocolate fudge cake (yummy, I loved it!) and birthday song in 3 languages. Haha. I thank the Lord for them.

My birthday wish? I sincerely hope that I will become a better person - a better friend, a better daughter to my parents, and a better Bride to our Lord.

O God, I thank you for giving me another year of life.

I thank you for all the people who have remembered me today, and who have sent me cards, and letters, and good wishes, and presents.

I thank you for everything which I have been abled by you to do and to be in the past year.

I thank you for all the experiences of the past year;
for times of success which will always be happy memories;
for times of failure which reminded me of my own weakness and of my need of you;
for times of joy when the sun was shining;
for times of sorrow which drove me to you.

Forgive me
for the hours I have wasted;
for the chances I failed to take;
for the opportunities I missed in the past year.

Forgive me that I have not made of life all that I might have made of it and could have made of it; and help me in the days which lie ahead to make this the best year yet, and in it to bring happiness to my loved ones, and credit and joy to you.

Mary, Mother of God and my mother, please pray for me.
This I ask in Jesus' name. AMEN.

One Book Meme

2006-07-31T13:51:00.000+08:00

I've not been using my brain for a while (two months, I guess) since my "liberation" from the university (Yess! I graduated!). This is the chance for me to think hard and try to remember the books I've read so far. Okay, let's see what I've got.

Tagged by Moneybags.

One book that changed your life:

A Sister's Joys and Sorrows

One book that you've read more than once:

Chronicles of the Christ: God Came Near

One book you'd want on a desert island:

The Bible

One book that made you laugh:

A Sister's Joys and Sorrows

One book that made you cry:

You Can Be Healed

One book that you wish had been written:

One book that you wish had never been written:

Playboy

One book you're currently reading:

Journey of Faith

One book you've been meaning to read:

Karol Wojtyla: The Thought of the Man Who Became Pope John Paul II

I tag anyone who's been reading extensively. God bless.

July message from Medjugorje

2006-07-28T22:18:00.000+08:00

Message from Our Lady of medjugorje on the 25th July:

Dear Children!

At this time, do not only think of rest for your body but, little children, seek time also for the soul. In silence may the Holy Spirit speak to you and permit Him to convert and change you. I am with you and before God I intercede for each of you. Thank you for having responded to my call.

My dear Lord, so many things happened in my life in such a short time. Please help me to handle them. All those events have driven me into confusion. Lord, please take control, for You are the Master of my life. Our Lady, Mother of our Lord Jesus and our mother, pray and intercede for me as you've promised. Through Jesus' name. Amen.

Rituals can be lies

2006-07-21T12:35:00.000+08:00

That was the main theme for Monday's first reading (Isa 1:10-17).

During the Evening of Prayer last Wednesday, I noticed how people said the Our Father, Hail Mary and Glory Be.

They were fast, as if it was a must to finish the prayer in an instance. No full-stops, no commas; with one breath they can finish Our Father. I was only half way through the Hail Mary and they have already finished the whole prayer. Wow. This is really 'impressive'.

The questions I asked: Were they really praying? Did they mean what they say? Or they got so used to the prayers that they become nothing but automatic words? Were they performing what Prophet Isaiah mentioned as empty rituals?

I realized that sometimes, I pray like that too. I slurr the words, my mind is empty, and I don't even understand what I am talking about. Lord, have mercy on me!

Praying means communicating with God our Father. Or in other words, we are having a conversation with God during prayer. I personally don't like it when friends are not sincere during a conversation. Likewise, I know that God would not be happy if I pray the Our Father, Hail Mary and Glory Be just for the sake of praying.

As I write this, I am challenging myself (and readers) to always say what I mean and mean what I say when I pray. Prayers said with a sincere heart, besides bringing glory to God and pleasing Him, we will be blessed with joy, peace and strength.

That is the beauty of prayers (worship & praises to God) when they are said with sincerity and love.

Love affair

2006-07-13T23:33:00.000+08:00

How many people out there actually know that our relationship with God involves an intimate loving relationship, the kind of relationship that is between a husband and a wife, a man and a woman?

A divine romance is happening right here on earth today, between the Creator and His beloved creation.

The greatest love story ever told -- God loves us even more than He loves His only Son. He loves us to the extend of giving up His only Son for us sinners (John 3:16). Through the prophet Hosea, the Lord revealed His love for us His people in this poem of love.

I have friends who are single and desperate. They said they marvel at how I am able to enjoy my single life, and better still, I am considering religious life. Some even told me that I'm foolish for not giving a chance to guys. Well, tell me then, my friends. How can I love another when my heart has been so totally taken by God? I want to let the whole world know that I belong solely to Jesus, the Prince of my heart and soul. And nothing can and will come between this love of ours.

Here's a piece of good news I would like to share with all those who are single and desperately looking. Stop looking for those who cannot give you total satisfaction. Give the Perfect Lover a chance, try Him. He would never let you down. When you accept Him to be your Lover, you will find yourself bursting with joy everyday. That is what I'm experiencing right now. I found myself giggling when my thoughts are filled with Him. I wanted to scream when I hear His Words of love for me. I know that I am alive because of His love; I am made for Him. I feel that I'm the happiest person in this whole wide world! Even though things don't come easy at times, my heart knows that He will never ever leave me. He has become my everything.

Remember the vow the bride and bridegroom will have to make during wedding? God has actually taken the initiative to take the vow for everyone, now it's our turn to live our lives as His spouse. Add this to your personal prayer and really mean what you say, and see how your lives will be transformed:

"I promise to be true to You in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health, for richer or poorer. I will love You and honour You all the days of my life."

For all of you who have made up your mind to make a commitment in this divine romance, all the very best to you. ;)

Inspired by reading on Monday 10th July '06 and A Penitent Blogger.

Memories...

2006-07-09T12:48:00.000+08:00

Malaysia-Philippines Gathering at the Bread of Life centre. We exchanged thoughts, sharings, and gratitude, etc. Everyone's attentive to what each other was sharing.

Yummy yummy... it's Pizza time! Everyone had pizza for lunch! Thanks to Uncle Paul and Bread of Life community!

Posing with the guitarist.

Me posing with the other 3 Elim members. They are young, single and hot. Anyone interested??? Yes? Ask God for their contact numbers, I'm not their manager. LOL.

Kiddo and Dondon. Kiddo, errm... well, you said you don't get why everyone calls you crazy, right? See, here's the proof. Haha.

Posing with two other very pretty girls from Elim (3rd and 5th from the left).

Shopping for souvenirs. Some of us followed them, including me (well, obviously. I took this photo). I wasn't helping at all, actually I was just curious of what stuffs they would be buying. In other words, I was just being 'kepo' (= nosy).

Fan Into Flame

2006-07-08T15:34:00.000+08:00

The Conference
That was the theme of the conference/seminar that lasted for 3 days. It took me a while to decide whether I should go or not, whether it worthed my money or not. I went after much consideration, expecting nothing. For me, it was probably another seminar that was similar to the others which I've attended.

On the first day after the first session, one of the uncles in the Morning choir said to me that that would be another wake-up call for all of us. My heart didn't agree with him... I felt that this one would be more than just a wake-up call. And I was right.

I witnessed the speakers burned with zeal as they conveyed God's messages to us participants. Not only that. At first sight, I saw joy on their faces... and I knew right then how much their love for God was. So I told God in my heart, "Lord, make me like them."

The message was actually simple -- God loves us. He loves us as an individual, as who we really are, as who we are made to be. He loves us not because of the things we've offered Him; He loves us just like a mother loves her own child. There is no condition to this love of His. But to experience His love and receive the Spirit He's promised during His Ascension, we need to be open and willing to receive from Him.

During the ministering, I fell in love with Him once again, deeper in love this time! And I renewed my promises I've made -- to live a life of chastity and to put Him above everything else. He also planted something into my heart -- God-fearing spirit.

The Concerts
The climax, was of course the 2 concerts. Honestly, worship concerts like these are not new to me and to the youths here in Kuching, but the scene that left me in awe was this: those in their 40's, 50's and even 60's were among youths who were in the "fire zone"! They were also jumping, lifting their hands as all of us youths are doing, and they jumped even higher and longer than we did! Wow! Amazing, eh? My jaws dropped as I saw them dancing for the Lord! So I told myself: "If they can dance and jump like mad as if nobody's business, I certainly can do better than them!!"

After the whole thing (conference and concerts) were over, I find myself unable to walk. Hmm... when was the last time I went jogging?!?!

The pain in my tighs... so what? Most importantly, God has set my heart on flame!!

Coming Soon!
Some of our Youths were invited to a special session with Elim. I'm really thankful to God that I was given this opportunity to take photos with them as remembrance. I've even made some friends! Chances like this don't come easy. Understanding this, I've learned to capture and treasure every moment.

I hope I will be able to upload those photos soon. Not much, but it is for these great people whom I met.

God bless everyone!

Back soon...

2006-07-08T09:59:00.000+08:00

I've been sick with running nose and respiratory inflammation. Am taking some rest, and much better now. I'll be posting soon. Sincere thanks to those who are concerned.

God bless!

Photo courtesy Windsor-Essex

Away for seminar

2006-06-28T20:50:00.000+08:00

*updated*

I just came back from the Seminar a few hours ago. The theme for the seminar is Fan Into Flame, with charismatic revival as the main topic. It was a shock because I've never seen another international catholic worship group that is really on fire for God... they are as good as those from Hillsong Australia! The speakers (from ELIM) told us what worship is all about and how one should worship; what it is to be spiritually revived, and what will happen when revival strikes.

The message from these speakers were so strong that all of us could feel the Spirit at work even when they were sharing (and not ministering). I was also personally touched by the Spirit during the worship session. I somehow was transformed to have a greater fear of the Lord.

Well, not yet... the best is yet to come. According to them, this was just a foretaste of God's glory. They showed us a video of their past seminars. All I can say is... AWESOME! We saw hundreds slained in the Spirit as the Elder of ELIM community, Bro. Willy lifted his hands to pray over the crowds. It was just AMAZING!

If you ask me what I am expecting in the next session, which is tomorrow, my answer is still the same: I don't know. Perhaps, after this first session, I will be expecting the unexpected from God. I will also try to take some photos tomorrow, if possible.

Please remember me in your prayers. Thank you!

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I will be away from blogging for 3 days, starting tomorrow.

I'm attending a seminar (28-30th June) by the ELIM group and GenRev from the Philippines for the whole day. I paid RM75 (equivalent to USD21) for the whole seminar, another half is sponsored by the choir fund (where the actual amount is RM150 or USD42 per person). I anticipated the seminar, but I don't know what to expect. Well, let's see what surprises God has in store for me for that 3 days.

For some pictures of GenRev concert (which we will be having too on the night of 29th & 30th June), pay a visit to my fellow church friend's post at Celt's Cryptic Sphere.

Keep me in my prayers! Thank you!

Changing religion

2006-06-28T19:22:00.000+08:00

Another piece of news, similar but not the same with what happened in Pakistan. This time, it is happening in Malaysia. I heard about it in Sunday Mass, but I couldn't find the article or any report on it. As I reached home today and checked my mails, I received this in my mailbox. Thank you, Jude!

So here's the news, from Zenit:

Malaysian Woman Not Allowed to Abandon Islam
Prayer Campaign Launched in Her Favor

KUALA LUMPUR, Malaysia, JUNE 26, 2006 (Zenit.org).- Christian Churches in Malaysia have launched a prayer campaign to support a woman whose conversion to Christianity is prohibited by law.

Lina Joy converted to Christianity in 1998, and applied to the National Registration Department to officially change her religion from Muslim to Christian, reported AsiaNews.

She was refused then, and subsequently in a court of appeal, because as an ethnic Malay she is legally Muslim, and prohibited from changing religions.

AsiaNews reported that two legal systems coexist in Malaysia: one based on Islam and the other on the constitution.

The constitution guarantees freedom of religion, but Islamic law prohibits conversion to any other religion.

Religious issues involving Malays, including conversions to other religions, fall under the jurisdiction of Islamic courts and not under the country's general laws.

AsiaNews also reports that if Lina Joy is not recognized as a Christian, she can only marry a Muslim in a Muslim ceremony, and will be subject to Islamic family and inheritance laws.

Bishop Paul Tan Chee Ing of Melaka-Johor, chairman of the Christian Federation of Malaysia, asked Christians to support Lina Joy with prayers, reported AsiaNews.

The prelate asked the faithful to call on God to support Lina Joy, whatever the judges' verdict might be, and grant the judges the wisdom they need to pass judgment in the case, and Malaysian Prime Minister Abdullah Badawi the strength to "uphold the constitution."

It is expected that the federal court will decide this week if the law can or cannot recognize her conversion.

I humbly ask your prayers for Lina Joy. Thank you!

Our Lady's Message on 25th June

2006-06-26T15:24:00.000+08:00

Message of Our Lady from Medjugorje:

“Dear children! With great joy in my heart I thank you for all the prayers that, in these days, you offered for my intentions. Know, little children, that you will not regret it, neither you nor your children. God will reward you with great graces and you will earn eternal life. I am near you and thank all those who, through these years, have accepted my messages, have poured them into their life and decided for holiness and peace. Thank you for having responded to my call.”

Children Of Medjugorje, Inc.