I'm a fool

I have been angry with someone from church who hurt my father a week ago. She has done the same thing to many others and drove them away from our church many years back. I thought she has changed, but looks like I was wrong.

So I wasn't happy for the whole week. I felt like giving her a punch in the face, to teach her a lesson she will never forget for the rest of her life. Since no one has done that before, let me be the first. I told the Lord. It took me a long time to forgive her (I was her victim too), now she has caused my hatred for her to grow again.

I even blamed the Lord for letting this happen. Why Lord? Why my father and not me? Let me bear all these hurt for my father because I have been through it once. And that would most probably be a good chance for me to teach her a lesson (for if I'm provoked, I can be very violent). I prayed.

I seem to get an answer in my heart... "My Child, I knew you would do that. That's why I didn't allow it." I wasn't satisfied, of course. For that week, I forgot my Morning Prayers and Night Prayers. All that's on my mind when I opened my eyes in the morning and before I sleep at night is that woman and what she did. It was a terrible week.

Until last night, changes started happening. I went for choir practice, and as usual we have praise & worship first. But when we were singing the hymn "You Are My All In All", my eyes got foggy.

You are my strength when I am weak,
You are the treasure that I seek,
You are my all in all;
Seeking You as a precious jewel,
Lord to give up I'd be a fool,
You are my all in all...

Taking my sin, my cross, my shame,
Rising again I bless your name,
You are my all in all;
When I fall down You picked me up,
When I am dry You fill my cup,
You are my all in all...

Tears flowed.

Oh, how could I be such a fool? Why did I let matters like this to trouble me? How could I give up the greatest Treasure which I own? Why did I allow myself to believe in the lies of the evil one? Lord, have mercy on me, a sinner!

Right now, I offer up all the anxiety, anger, confusion, and unwillingness to forgive to my Lord. Only by letting go and letting God can I overcome this problem and many problems to come in the future.

God bless.

My convocation

Hooray! I had my graduation ceremony on the 6th August (oops, yes I know I should have posted these photos earlier. But something came up so they have to wait). How did I feel? Joy to the extreme. Hehe. And thankful too, that I finally come to an end of the campus life. I know that I didn't really excel in studies, but I also know that God has His own plan for me. And besides, I didn't do too badly at all... 'cos I qualified for convocation! Lord, I knew that since You brought me to it, You'll bring me through it. And You did! Thank you Lord!

See those flowers? I didn't expect anybody to buy me flowers or gifts, but a junior came with these and it was indeed a pleasant surprise! It was my first time to receive flowers from someone.

Here are some of my good friends who have journeyed with me through thick and thin. Not all the time, but we've enjoyed moments together. The memory of these three years shall I carefully keep in the treasure box of my heart. :) Too bad I couldn't get the whole gang in, since everybody was busy with photo taking. For those who are not in the photo and those who are, I love you all! And thank you for the friendship I enjoyed and cherished. May God bless your future and everything you do. Ohh... and CONGRATULATIONS... to ALL OF US!!! ;)

Thanksgiving... on my birthdday

Gees... I'm kind of hungry when I see this cake.

I am celebrating my 24th birthday today.

Goodness, age is really catching up. At about 11:40 p.m. on 3rd August, I was surfing the internet and looking for some Catholic news that might attract me. An SMS came, but I took no notice of it. After 10 minutes, I checked the message and it was a pleasant surprise! A friend sent me a birthday greeting. Seriously, I forgot that I have lived for 24 years when the clock strikes 12:00 midnight.

See, I can be that forgetful sometimes. I almost forgotten my own birthday!

I don't think I will have a birthday cake this year. But the best birthday memory that I had was two years ago when I stayed with my campus mates in a rented house. They prepared a grand celebration for me, with chocolate fudge cake (yummy, I loved it!) and birthday song in 3 languages. Haha. I thank the Lord for them.

My birthday wish? I sincerely hope that I will become a better person - a better friend, a better daughter to my parents, and a better Bride to our Lord.


O God, I thank you for giving me another year of life.

I thank you for all the people who have remembered me today, and who have sent me cards, and letters, and good wishes, and presents.

I thank you for everything which I have been abled by you to do and to be in the past year.

I thank you for all the experiences of the past year;
for times of success which will always be happy memories;
for times of failure which reminded me of my own weakness and of my need of you;
for times of joy when the sun was shining;
for times of sorrow which drove me to you.

Forgive me
for the hours I have wasted;
for the chances I failed to take;
for the opportunities I missed in the past year.

Forgive me that I have not made of life all that I might have made of it and could have made of it; and help me in the days which lie ahead to make this the best year yet, and in it to bring happiness to my loved ones, and credit and joy to you.

Mary, Mother of God and my mother, please pray for me.
This I ask in Jesus' name. AMEN.

One Book Meme

I've not been using my brain for a while (two months, I guess) since my "liberation" from the university (Yess! I graduated!). This is the chance for me to think hard and try to remember the books I've read so far. Okay, let's see what I've got.

Tagged by Moneybags.

1. One book that changed your life:
   
I've read lots of books, English and Chinese alike. All those books contributed in changing my life, in one way or another. But the book that made the first impact in my life is A Sister's Joys and Sorrows by Sr. Thomasetta, published in 1961. My thought of considering religous life was first sparked by this book.


2. One book that you've read more than once:
   
Chronicles of the Christ: God Came Near by Max Lucado. Love it. One of the first books that brought me closer to God.


3. One book you'd want on a desert island:
   
The Word of God, The Bible. I'll need that to live and it acts as a reminder to me that I will never be alone.


4. One book that made you laugh:
   
Does the comic book count? Hehe. If not, then it goes to A Sister's Joys and Sorrows. Young Sr. Thomasetta was a Chinese nun who knew no English when she first entered the Convent. She translated some English words into Mandarin, which sounded similar but turned out to be totally different in meaning. And yes, those are really funny.


5. One book that made you cry:
   
As far as I remember, it was You Can Be Healed by Willy Nakar. Really touching.


6. One book that you wish had been written:
   
None for the time being.


7. One book that you wish had never been written:
   
Playboy Magazine. Hope that counts.


8. One book you're currently reading:
   
Journey of Faith by Willy Nakar.


9. One book you've been meaning to read:
   
Karol Wojtyla: The Thought of the Man Who Became Pope John Paul II by Rocco Buttiglione.

I tag anyone who's been reading extensively. God bless.

July message from Medjugorje

Message from Our Lady of medjugorje on the 25th July:

Dear Children!

At this time, do not only think of rest for your body but, little children, seek time also for the soul. In silence may the Holy Spirit speak to you and permit Him to convert and change you. I am with you and before God I intercede for each of you. Thank you for having responded to my call.

My dear Lord, so many things happened in my life in such a short time. Please help me to handle them. All those events have driven me into confusion. Lord, please take control, for You are the Master of my life. Our Lady, Mother of our Lord Jesus and our mother, pray and intercede for me as you've promised. Through Jesus' name. Amen.