I'm supposed to be in my study room reading my notes, preparing myself for the last paper on Tuesday. But I gave myself half an hour to get this post done... I won't be able to concentrate if I leave my thoughts unposted.
So did you faithfully join and pray the Novena of Divine Mercy for 9 consecutive days? I... did not. I only made it through until the 4th day. *sigh* What a shame.
And I remembered my promise to God -- going for confession on Divine Mercy Sunday. That would be 8 more hours from now and I'll be off to Mass. Confession has never been easy to me. I have never been able to shake off nervousness, no matter how hard I prayed and how much I tried to.
I've been accumulating more sins since Lent. I did things I'm not supposed to do, and I feel extremely guilty as I had my conscience examined just now. Yes, I'm ashamed of my deeds. I must have hurt the Lord so deeply. *sob* I even thought of not going for Communion but then my heart and soul would be craving for the Spiritual Food the whole week, and that would make me fall into sin even more easily. But I don't dare to meet Him! I've been such a troublemaker and so unfaithful... where should I put my face?
This line caught my eyes as I flipped through the booklet 'The Divine Mercy: Message and Devotion' just a while ago:-
Come with faith to the feet of My representative... I Myself am waiting there for you. I am only hidden by the priest... I Myself act in your soul... Make your confession before Me. The person of the priest is, for Me, only a screen. Never analyze what sort of a priest it is that I am making use of; open your soul in confession as you would to Me, and I will fill it with My light...And it changed my mind too... Like it or not, I have no choice but to get my sins confessed. I'm feeling like a decaying corpse right now! I want my soul to be restored! I don't want to keep the decayed rubbish inside me!! I want the fire of love continue to burn with zeal for Jesus! Lord, help me!
Another verse that I like to share here:-
When you go to confession, to this fountain of mercy, the Blood and Water which came forth from My Heart always flows down upon your soul... In the Tribunal of mercy [the sacrament of Reconciliation]...the greatest miracles take place and are incessantly repeated... Here the misery of the soul meets God of mercy...Lord, shed Your light on me so that I can see what disgraceful sins I've committed, and I ask also for Your blessings so that I detest them and confess them well.
For all of you who are also preparing to receive God's mercy, all the very best and you are remembered in my prayers.
Lord have mercy!