Aug 30, 2005

My Life Story

Just some memory of my journey with God. Perhaps some of you might have some similarity with mine.

I was born of Catholic parents, but never received Baptism when I was still a baby. I started going for Sunday Class at the age of 11. My Sunday Class teacher, who's also a relative of mine, made me attend the classes until I was about 14 years old. Right after my baptism was my First Holy Communion. I'm still wondering why she didn't let me receive Baptism after a year or two of Sunday Class, but I do know that by the time I was baptised, I knew a lot about the Catholic faith. I asked my parents why they didn't baptised me when I was a baby, they said they were giving me the choice whether or not I want to become a Catholic. I was really angry with them for doing that, and blamed them for being irresponsible and not keeping their marriage vow (upbringing of children in the Catholic way).

My parents only started attending Mass after my First Holy Communion. That time I was attracted by the priests and nuns, and always looked for the opportunity to talk to them. From there came the dream: I want to become a religious sister. My family and I were just Sunday Catholics then. My love for the Lord started growing during the Confirmation classess while my knowledge of Him deepens.

Finally, the time came for me to be confirmed. I was 16. Nothing but joy enveloped my whole being. I was accepted into the big Catholic family, where I was then 'qualified' to take part fully in serving Him. Still, I dreamt of becoming a religious sister, and I found out that I have one aunt whom I never met who's a sister. That desire burnt in me.

I served in many ministries until I found out where I belong - the Music Ministry. I've been singing in the choir for a few years now. The Lord has given me the opportunity to express myself through hymns and songs, and to lead the congregation in praise and worship sessions. Those were really great experiences and fulfilling moments. Recently, the Lord met me with the other God-fearing Youths, and we become the core members in Parish Youth Ministry, which gave me the opportunity to get to know more youths.

Being a Catholic is not easy. It doesn't mean that once you become a Catholic, you can run away from all the sufferings and trials. Nope, being a Catholic means you allow God to make use of you and your life for His purpose. God never promised a smooth journey, but He promised a safe landing. It is the experiences I've been through - hurts, injuries, joy, loneliness, disappointments - that shape who I am today and the decisions I make. Once desicions have been made, there's no turning back.

The wedding gown that I long to put on one day is that special 'gown' the nuns wear. The vow I want to make is the perpetual vow made to the Lord. I have my own reason for the decision of a single life (and God has permitted that!). The only man whom I will love with my whole heart, soul and life is the one called Jesus.Yes, I'm still dreaming of giving my whole self to the Lord. Right now, I long to see His face.

I don't know what His plan for me tomorrow. Will I keep growing in faith? Will I love Him even more than today? All these while, it was His being there that made me stronger. What would happen tomorrow isn't the matter, what matters is that He would still be there.
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